Why are you against Trans, nonbinary people etc? This is a normal question. I'm a nonbinary person and just want to understand why you are against people like me. It's not our fault that society has been brainwashed into a heavily gendered system. My personal stance is that my identity being such a big deal in 2025 is sad. Because I personally want gender to be everybody's own business and not random people discussing how one expresses. I just want my peace
Okay, quick & simplified rundown of why I am critical of gender & trans ideology: I am a feminist. When it comes to women's oppression ( which I want to fight since the goal of feminism is the liberation of women from the patriarchy) sex is why and gender is how; meaning: women are oppressed on the basis of their sex & the oppression largely takes place in the form of gender stereotypes.
Because gender plays a huge role in women's oppression under the patriarchy, I want to abolish it as a whole. I define gender as the social stereotypes (societal expectations, norms, behaviors & roles) that are socially ascribed to both sexes (females = women âď¸, males = men âď¸). Examples would be the following associations: Femininity = female, Masculinity = male . This is gender and gender dictates the role of each person, not based on their internal sense of gender identity but based on their sex.
Now, people identifying as some gender (for ex: non binary) or identifying as the other sex (for ex: men identifying as women (= trans'women') or women identifying as men (trans'men') are each supporting and basing their identities off of gender stereotypes.
How come, you ask? I'll tell you why.
Let's tackle non binary first: Non-binary just like all the other made up genders (= gender has no material basis in reality & cannot be observed or measured) was created by people who thought that being a woman must not mean female but rather "to feminine stereotypes conforming person". This conclusion is misogynistic because it reduces women and their sex specific struggles to the stereotypes ascribed to them.
Being female, formerly known as being a woman, is a timeless thing. Stereotypes change overtime. What a woman is supposed to look like, what a woman is supposed to wear or prefer, how a woman is supposed to act etc. All of those things change over time and differ from culture to culture. There is no male & female brains, this was debunked a long time ago already. Gender will always remain individual & subjective while sex will always remain collective & objective.
Basing off your identity on non conformity or changing social expectations of gendered ideals that are ascribed to a biological reality has no foundation even outside of science, even when it comes to different people's minds. Because femininity is not consistent. Being female is.
Most non binary people I have met have told me that the reason why they identify as such, is because they just do not "feel" like a woman or a man. Similar with trans individuals. A lot of them refer to gender stereotypes and point out that they are gender non conforming. Also, a lot of trans or gender identified people are neurodivergent or have experienced rampant homophobia in their lives, internalizing said homophobia, believing (maybe even subconsciously) that being in a straight passing relationship would finally grant them their freedom. A lot of women also participate because they have faced so much misogyny in their lives that they are starting to entirely reject their sex characteristics, also starting to internalize the misogyny eventually. Subconsciously, they try to survive in this patriarchal world and might think that they would be better off navigating it as men. Some men that transition also can be described as "autogynephiles" which is a fetish for a male's sexual arousal by the thought or image of himself as a woman. This is both evident through their own statements & objectively observable through the constant sexualization of transness, specifically by trans identified men. (forcefem, transfem superiority, dykebreaking, terfbreaking, just have a look at the general trans tag, it is full of porn and violent male fantasies, oddly connected to trans identity)
Body dysphoria is also a real mental illness that people can suffer from - but that's what it is: a mental illness. You do not affirm it, you treat it. Injecting someone with cross sex hormones & permanently mutilating their bodies with major risk surgeries is not the solution. When someone experiencing body dysmorphia goes to the doctor and requests to have their left leg removed, it also gets treated as a form of mental illness and their decision to remove a body part, no matter how convinced they are, is not affirmed. Theraphy & the slow deconstruction of gendered ideals would be the correct approach in such a situation. (also, "gender affirming care" & puberty blockers for children have become too easily accessible. trans has also been turned into a trendy aesthetic by a lot of trans media influencers.)
Detransitioners are repeatedly silenced and experience harassment by the trans community for speaking out about their lived reality and transition regrets. I really advise you to research & read up on the huge risks cross sex hormones & "gender affirming" surgeries pose. Some examples: Necrosis of genitals, blood clots, strokes, heart problems, high cholesterol, infertility, osteoporosis, cancer, acne, hair loss and weight gain. Many effects of cross sex hormones alone are irreversible, such as: voice deepening, breast growth, facial hair etc.
Adding on to that: There is no universal feeling to being a woman or being a man. When gender individuals say "I do not feel like a woman/man" they are actually meaning "I do not relate to the stereotypes ascribed to my sex, therefore I cannot be a woman/man". By then trying to identify out of their sex via choosing a made up gender they are - usually unknowingly - affirming these stereotypes for women/men and therefore contributing to the notion that "a woman/man can only be someone who likes and does xyz".
Not feeling like a woman/man is normal... because there is no feeling. Trying to interact with that thought might be confusing for you at first because you hear everyone in your gender ideology bubble talking about (for ex.) "oh, I feel so girly today!" (What they mean is: I applied nail polish and eyeliner and am conforming to a female stereotype which makes me feel happy because based on society's values I am doing women's things and that affirms me of my identity as a woman!"
When trans individuals say "I do not feel like the sex I was born as, I would rather be a woman/man" they are actually meaning "I am a woman/man but I do not like or do xyz, instead I am very aligned with the stereotypes that are applied to the other sex so that is what I must be." By then trying to identify as the other sex, especially when trans identified men do it, it can cause a lot of problems for the women's liberation movement: feminism.
Why, you ask? Let me tell you why.
Women's single sex spaces for which they have fought for a long time are being taken away from them. By women's spaces I don't just mean bathrooms, women's sports and gyms but also other very vulnerable settings such as: women's shelters, women's prisons etc. There have been cases recorded of women having been raped & forcefully impregnated by trans identified men in female prison systems. There have been cases where medals and awards have been stolen from women by men in sports tournaments.
When men are included in the definition of woman, it renders many things completely meaningless. Also, I have never been given a coherent definition of either woman or man from someone who believes in gender identity. What is a woman? Each definition according to gender identity either relies on either an internal sense of self that again cannot be objectively measured or experienced or is a circular definition. "A woman is who identifies as one". Okay, but who do they identify as? Then they spiral again, right into misogynsistic gender stereotypes.
But being a woman, again, is and always will be a materially experienced reality.
The language for women to describe their own sex based oppression & struggles is slowly stolen away. They need to include men, or else they will be upset. "We are all women!" they say, but they send rape threats to women who do not want to give up their spaces to include them. "We are all women!" they say, but they do not suffer from restricted abortion access or women's bad health care that is designed for male standard patients. (and it goes down up until crash dummies for car seats and tooth paste composition). "We are all women!" they say, but they have not been socialized as women and faced misogyny by other men, at the worst, they are contributing to it actively.
Someone's sex is also very important when it comes to sexual attraction. Like the word indicates, you are attracted to someone on the basis of their sex, not their gender expression. This has become an issue, where women, specifically lesbians are being guilt tripped by so called "transbians" into having sex with them. "Close minded bigot!" they say, if lesbians refuse to engage with them sexually. "You are so superficial for caring about what's in my pants! It is a girldick!!" they yell. Remember when conversion therapy was forbidden? It just resurfaced, but this time the man is wearing a dress, a wig and some lipstick. This makes it different after all, doesn't it?
Women want to be proud for themselves and for what they have achieved but they will no longer be referred to as a mother by hospital staff. The birthing person, it is. The uterus haver. You don't want the male women who do not have female parts to get upset after all, do you? You have your period? You are a bleeder, so impractical!
"Sir?" they call you. "Huh?" you say, confused, until it clicks. You have short hair and you are wearing a tank top and shorts, no visible make-up. You are not performing enough femininity to be referred to as a woman, they assume your perceived masculine appearance must hint at some gender identity.
You see, radical feminists do not advocate for conservative gender roles. We want them gone completely. We want you to know that you can be a masculine woman, but still be a woman. Your sex has nothing to do with your personality or preferences. We want you to be free and we think that this is best accomplished by being proud and openly gender non conforming, without feeling like you have to tick some other box, because being female or male is not a club you can join by sheer force of will. But you also cannot leave it. It's just a fact and no more should it be. Just like your hair is brown, your sex is female. So what? What does it hinder you? At least it shouldn't and that's what feminists fight for.
The difference is that whereas we seek to remove gender from sex, those subscribing to gender ideology seek to remove sex from gender. We want to render gender irrelevant & abolish it altogether, while gender ideology wants to render sex irrelevant, which is something that will never work for..previously described reasons: sex is timeless and not a social trend that is subject to change. ever. The first thing (abolishing gender) supports female liberation and the breaking of said stereotypes, the second thing (the attempt of rendering sex irrelevant) affirms stereotypes, meaning "a woman/man has to act a certain way/like certain things" and effectively hinders conversations about female oppression, which happens on the basis of a woman's sex, not gender.
Would you argue otherwise, that oppression happens on the basis of gender and not sex, you would have to explain to me why women would choose their own oppression, when they could conveniently identify out of it entirely.
The women born in Afghanistan are not asked by men if they identify as women, before they must cover themselves from head to toe and must not speak in public. Young girls in severely misogynistic countries are not asked how they identify, before they are subjected to FGM.
You are right anon, it is not your fault that most of society has been brainwashed into a heavily gendered system but that does not mean that you have to go along with it when you understand that it actually is not the right thing to do. It also doesn't mean that this reality must persist forever. I understand being tired of criticism or not wanting to risk your friendships or relationships by voicing any & you don't necessarily have to. Understanding is enough. The rest will follow eventually when you grasp how important this is.
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