A random analysis but I have to give it to NHIE for always keeping the dreams vs reality themes of the show and how Devi never viewed Ben as a romanticized ideal.
All of Devi’s “love interests” were introduced to her by a “slow motion” entrance. Paxton, Des and Ethan. To symbolize a very superficial, rather romanticized view. Ben’s introduction on the pilot by contrast is framed by him looking back at her with the announcement “and this is Devi’s nemesis”, painting him as an equal and also as someone that integral to Devi’s life.
And I kinda like that during their moment at the finale, there's a slow motion happening but it's not for Ben or Devi, its for their moment.
On 201, right off the bat, McEnroe’s narration feels like it’s tainted in sarcasm. “Devi lay in her bed pondering these two grand romantic gestures. Ben had broken the law, stolen his Dad's car, and risked his life to help her say goodbye to her dad, but Paxton had left her a voicemail.” because for Devi, just the idea that the popular hot guy left her a voicemail is epic. Season 2 has a theme of Devi romanticizing a lot of Paxton’s minimal actions, including the status of their relationship because then later Devi found out that she romanticized all of their interactions to the point she didn't even notice he didn't call her his girlfriend once.
210 is called “…been a perfect girl” and I think we know by now that Devi’s idea of “perfection” was about external views. In this finale, she ends up with Paxton in what feels like a perfect picture (that later was referenced as a dream that she outgrew with Dr. Ryan) and the catch is that the first thing Devi says is “So, I guess I am Paxton’s Hall Yoshida’s girlfriend now”. Not just Paxton, but his full name, because it’s his full name the one that brings out the status of his entire persona, just like when she wrote his full name on her grief journal on the pilot.
Yes, Devi referring to Paxton majority of Season 1 and Season 2 by his full name matters a lot.
And funny enough, Paxton and Devi never get to actually dance a romantic song during winter prom. And it gets brough up by Devi yelling "are you serious? now you play a fast song?" so “their song” ends up being Ben’s song. Say Something by Kylie Minogue was playing during their dance and narrating Ben’s internal struggles about Devi. Not highlighting anything significant about Devi and Paxton's new status.
(and after "She wanted to chose you. It's not always been him" scene I don't know how there was any doubt it was always going to be Ben.)
With Devi and Paxton’s “couple entrance” on 301 the narration says “this is what fairy tales are made of” with Dreams of You playing.
A lot of the problem with Devi's relationship with Paxton was not only her insecurities but the fact she never was able to see him for him. Not in the ways she always saw Ben. And for someone that still wanted validation from the crowd it was hard to let go of that idea, which is why she needed to date Paxton first.
Catch this, for 304, the song playing when Des and Devi are in the car says "looking for the next thing, looking for that next dream."
On 310, Devi doesn’t have stomach knots with Paxton because she finally got over that idea. She dated him, she knew was it feels like. There won’t be “what if…” in her future. She learned to value herself, she gathered experiences and so those rose colored ideas of him went away.
209/409 being parallels of each other was great too because for 209 we have Paxton smoothly climbing Devi’s window to make out. It is supposed to be sexy and forbidden. Similar to Devi's dream on 102. In contrast, 409 does the same thing with Ben and even jokes about it. Ben’s entrance is way less smooth, he is panting and even asks Devi if Paxton used to do that all the time because it's treacherous. Devi responds very nonchalantly with “it always seemed pretty easy for him”. And there's a reason that interaction was written. It’s almost as if to show her illusion of Paxton has completely washed off. She not longer views it as a grand thing he did and instead we have Ben being a very real person. And I love how instead of making out under some blurred lines, it’s just Ben going to her so he can comfort her and they ended up having a very real conversation that ends with them falling sleep.
The show illustrates these themes with the soundtrack as well. Devi and Paxton’s songs usually have a very sexy vibe and cover themes around dreams, illusions and failing relationships. Example: Playing Games, Heat Waves, Dreams Of You, Love Goes, Fire For You. While Ben and Devi's songs are usually about a love that won't go away and the one you have been waiting for. Example: Boys Like You, Take Off, Eres Tu, Running, My Rose, Fade Into You. @rainparadefromhell has a post talking about the meaning of the soundtrack in lenght (here).
Season 3 does a great job illustrating by the end that Devi has finally come to terms with Paxton as a dream she held onto as a distraction from her grief. Season 3 finale had Dr. Ryan tell Devi: “When you lock yourself into a dream of what your life should be, you limit yourself.” And process to tell Devi she’s been locked up into a very particular dream since the show started: dating the hottest and most popular guy at school (Paxton), wanting to be miss popular and go to Princeton and that she probably has outgrown some of those dreams. It goes to tell Devi (and the audience) she’s not the same girl from freshman/sophomore year.
Devi accepts her words because she knows it’s true. That dream was only the means for Devi to feel the acceptance and normalcy she craved after a traumatic event. And once she is able to recognize that for herself and to Paxton, it all suddenly makes sense. Ben is the one she has always wanted. Ben with his flaws and sense of groundedness. She wanted him ever since Malibu and that's never going to change. So, later the narration goes “…her dream had evolved…but there was maybe a part of the old dream that still interested her, and per Dr. Ryan, she was about to surprise herself.” And she goes to Ben. He represents both her old and new dreams because he is a constant.
At the end of the day, when it comes to Devi making choices closer to her own wants and needs, she always goes to Ben. Once Devi understood what those old dreams meant for herself. It was game over. By chosing to sleep with Ben, she made her choice. On Season 4, Paxton was not a choice. She wasn't confused about her feelings. Ethan was not a choice either. It was always Ben. There was no one for Devi but Ben. And no one for Ben but Devi. The triangle ended the moment Devi came off from those rose colored lenses on Season 3 and when she is able to form a friendship with Paxton and finally see him as an equal. She doesn’t want him back because she’s never been in love with him. She's in love with Ben.
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