carer healing traumatized age regressor through every slip
you grew up in poverty and became financially conscious before you shouldve? PROHIBITED in headspace. you like a toy or item? you can have it. no hesitation. no buts. "dont worry about how much it costs, we have enough. we'll always have enough for your needs and wants. I promise you that, little one." The only amount you need to be worried about are the numbers on your play cashier set, silly!
left somewhere alone a lot/for a long time? (car, home, etc). no more. carer ALWAYS checks in with you about your boundaries. they let you know when they'll leave, and ask if you want to come with. "of course sweetie, I love spending time with you, you're my little passenger prince/ess/x" or if they can't take you (like work), they'll make sure you're all set up, entertained, and have your needs met before they leave. "yeah, bubbas got to go to their adult job, but if you're good, they'll get you a new stuffie, hmm?" plus- they care about you so much you could be watching cartoons n get texts from them!
~ "don't eat too much ice cream while I'm gone buggie! missing you already"
your neurodivergence was demonized and your actions seen as intentionally malicious? when they find out, they're heartbroken because to them, its a core part of your personality and character. yes, you get overstimulated in public...or get hyperfixated on something random, so what? That's fine by them-- they accommodate for it all. "Muffin, I love and chose you, that means all of you. The good, the bad, the ugly. You're never too much for me, it means a lot that you trust me enough to unmask and talk to me about these things."
you're bratty, disobedient, anxious when regressed or given love? That's okay. You're just a baby. It's developmentally appropriate for you to distrust them and laugh it off or act out subconsciously, you went through a lot. your carer knows that too. They just choose to smother you with kindness until you trust and believe in the authenticity of their actions. "Mmm, well, hate to break it to you angel, but I still love you despite you laughing at a 5 minute timeout."
bullied for your interests? your caregiver wants to know ALL about it. because they're curious about their little baby, of course! they love seeing you happy, and if it means listening to facts about stuff, then heck yeah! "Glass frogs are quite interesting, what about the other species hun?"
you experience impure regression? They try their best to help, even if they don't entirely understand. They'll comfort you through a sob session, hold you or give space during a meltdown, rub your back and affirm you through nightmares, stay close with a shield during tantrums (because it's okay to let out your big feelings!). whatever you need, a blankie, paci, comfort meal, etc, they'll get it. Silence if you need it, comforting words too. There is no need to beg them for anything, they just remember, notice, or know. "Do you need your AAC cards? Let me get them for you, I know words are hard right now."
boundaries pushed over in the past? Consent is key. You hold the key. Nothing will progress without your consent. It doesn't matter if it's a year in and you're still uncomfortable with them taking care of you, they'll wait. They are not trampling over any boundary you set down. Instead, they always communicate with you and see you as a teammate, not an object to use. They'll work with you at your own pace. "Yes pumpkin, I promise it's okay that you aren't comfortable with cuddling right now. Carer is just fine with headpats as long as their baby is comfy."
took some suggestions from the reposts and comments of my last one, I hope this provides some more comfort to you all. I'm sorry if you have/do relate to any of these, you didn't deserve any of it, but you know what you do deserve? Unconditional love and support, no matter the headspace you're in. And you'll have that one day.
