Project A Bun Dance

To consolidate and share things I find useful and/or motivational

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Recommended Book List

Added 15 Feb 2023:

Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay - Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy A really good and easy read with great illustrations that keeps it light. Unlike most self-help and non fiction books. Great tips and nuggets of information.

Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success - Adam M. Grant Highly recommend! Fascinating book, a page turner for me as I have always been looking for reasons to be kinder, less self-centered.

Original Post:

Compilation of books I’ve read and love. Not the full list yet, will update once in a while. Not in any particular order except the top 2 are my all time favorite.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Stephen R. Covey Must read!!!

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff - Richard Carlson Must read!!!

The Art of the Good Life -  Rolf Dobelli

The Art of Thinking Clearly - Rolf Dobelli

The Happiness Project - Gretchen Rubin

Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell

The Book of Ikigai - Caroline de Surany Tons of simple & fun activities to explore self

The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle A bit too intense but still a good book to read and get the gist of it

The Last Lecture - Jeffrey Zaslow and Randy Pausch

Tuesdays with Morrie - Mitch Albom

Eat That Frog! - Brian Tracy My first non fiction book, when I was 15? Got me started on my reading journey.   

The Adventures of Johnny Bunko: The Last Career Guide You’ll Ever Need - Daniel H. Pink Manga style book, also from my teenage years. Can’t remember the contents now but at that point I thought it was a really good book for exploring my career options. 

Happier -  Harvard Professor Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar Revisited some notes I took when I read this book many many years ago, and realized a lot of my positivity and energy and beliefs came from this book. Highly recommended!

The Success Principles - Jack Canfield Can find many good quotes and basically a mini summary of the book. Tons of great insights: http://www.theripening.com/2019/09/notes-quotes-success-principles-jack-canfield.html

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What really motivates people

Lillian Moore shares a quick story that reveals what really motivates people:

"A few months after my husband and I moved to a small Massachusetts town I grumbled to a resident about the poor service at the library, hoping she would repeat my complaints to the librarian. The next time I went to the library, the librarian had set aside two bestsellers for me and a new biography for my husband. What's more, she appeared to be genuinely glad to see me.

Later I reported the miraculous change to my friend. "I suppose you told her how poor we thought the service was?" I asked.

"No," she confessed. "In fact—I hope you don't mind—I told her your husband was amazed at the way she had built up this small town library, and that you thought she showed unusually good taste in the new books she ordered."

Source: Reader's Digest  Via James Clear Weekly Newsletter, great words of wisdom weekly. Can take a look and sign up here if interested: https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1/refer?rh_ref=ba17aac2

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Proactivity: Mistakes and Weaknesses

Excerpt from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

On Acknowledging Mistakes, Correcting and Learning from them.

The proactive approach to a mistake is to acknowledge it instantly, correct and learn from it. This literally turns a failure into a success. But not to acknowledge a mistake, not to correct it and learn from it, is a mistake of a different order. It usually puts a person on a self-deceiving, self-justifying path, often involving rationalization (rational lies) to self and to others. This second mistake, this cover-up, empowers the first, giving it disproportionate importance, and causes far deeper injury to self.

It is not what others do or even our own mistakes that hurt us the most; it is our response to those things.

Chasing after the poisonous snake that bites us will only drive the poison through our entire system. It is far better to take measures immediately to get the poison out. 

Our response to any mistake affects the quality of the next moment. It is important to immediately admit and correct our mistakes so that they have no power over that next moment and we are empowered again.

Proactivity, working on your circle of influence, on what you can control.

Don’t argue for other people’s weaknesses. Don’t argue for your own. When you make a mistake, admit it, correct it, and learn from it—immediately. Don’t get into a blaming, accusing mode. Work on things you have control over. Work on you. On be.

Look at the weaknesses of others with compassion, not accusation. It’s not what they’re not doing or should be doing that’s the issue. The issue is your own chosen response to the situation and what you should be doing. If you start to think the problem is “out there,” stop yourself. That thought is the problem.

Make small commitments and keep them. Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Proactivity

“if our lives are a function of conditioning and conditions, it is because we have, by conscious decision or by default, chosen to empower those things to control us.” 

“Reactive people are also affected by their social environment, by the “social weather.” When people treat them well, they feel well; when people don’t, they become defensive or protective. Reactive people build their emotional lives around the behavior of others, empowering the weaknesses of other people to control them.” As Eleanor Roosevelt observed, “No one can hurt you without your consent.” In the words of Gandhi, “They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it to them.” It is our willing permission, our consent to what happens to us, that hurts us far more than what happens to us in the first place.”

Give it a thoughtful consideration on the above. I realized a lot of my emotional freedom comes from these teachings that I have been following for many years. Just by remembering to not build your emotional life around others, not letting the weakness of other people to control and affect you. You get to choose. When you feel unfairly treated, when someone is unreasonable, remember this and think “it is their weakness, I choose to not let it affect me” gives a lot of freedom. And always remember it is not personal, repeat “their weakness”, can be their insecurities, their upbringing etc etc.  

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Always be more interested in other people than being concerned with coming off as an interesting person.

-The 5AM Club

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““Change “I can’t” into “I can” and pretty soon, you will say “I did”:” - Unknown”

—

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Perseverance pt2

To remain loyal to your noble ideal not only during the weeks after you thought up the dream but over the long months and perhaps extended years in the parched desert of creative implementation while you endure rejection, exhaustion, the stones of jealous peers, the skepticism of your loved ones, being diverted by other attractive opportunities and finding your way through the isolated winters of self-doubt. This is what separates the also-rans from the icons. Anyone can be great for a minute. The sport of icons is sustaining genius-grade performance over a lifetime. And that takes unusual grit and patience uncommon in these superficial times. The kind that the majority of society today has sadly failed to develop

Common denominator of success: Top producers make it a habit to do the high-value activities that average ones don’t feel like doing—even when they, too, don’t feel like doing them, and by practicing the desired behavior over and over, their self-mastery and personal discipline grows. And the new routine becomes automated.

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The way you feel when you first wake up really isn’t the way you’ll feel only twenty minutes later. Run this strategy to bulletproof your neurobiology and battleproof your physiology. Please remember that!

- Robin Sharma

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Perseverance

In that moment you feel you can’t go further lies an enormous opportunity to forge an entirely new level of willpower. When you feel you can’t continue, progress a little longer. Your self-discipline muscle will be amplified considerably. And the degree of your self-respect will increase vastly. And few things are as essential to exponential productivity, leading your field and the creation of a life you adore as raising the appreciation you have for yourself.

- The 5AM Club

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Day Stacking

Make those 1% course corrections and improvements over each twenty-four hour allotment you receive, and these days will slip into weeks and your weeks into months and your months will slip into your years.

Enhancing anything in your day, ranging from your morning routine to a thought pattern to a business skill to relationship, by only 1% delivers at least a 30%—elevation only a month from starting. Stay with the program and, in just one year, the pursuit you’ve been focusing on has elevated 365%, at least. Concentrate monomaniacally on creating great days—and they’ll stack into a gorgeous life.

“Small daily, seemingly insignificant improvements, when done consistently over time, yield staggering results”

What you do each day matters far more than what you do once in a while. Consistency really is a key ingredient of mastery.

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Real riches come from being able to lead your days on your own terms. To Lead is to Serve.

Excerpts from Robin Sharma’s The 5AM Club

  Pure leaders are so secure in their own skin their main mission is the elevation of others. They have such self-respect, joyfulness and peacefulness within themselves that they don’t need to advertise their success to society in a feeble attempt to feel a little better.

True and enduring power expresses itself when you contact your original gifts and realize your most lavish talents as a human. real riches come from being able to lead your days on your own terms versus blindly following the sheep that so many in our sick society have been trained to become.

...no longer had the common need of most to fill the holes within themselves with distractions, attractions, escapes and luxuries. The more their appetite for superficial possessions dematerialized, the more hungry they became for substantial pursuits like honoring their creative vision, expressing their inherent genius and living by a higher moral blueprint. They viscerally understood that being inspirational and masterful and fearless are all inside jobs. And once true power is accessed, external substitutes pale in comparison to the feelings of fulfillment this treasure provides.... one of the primary aims of a wonderfully crafted life is contribution. Impact. Usefulness. Helpfulness. To lead is to serve

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Triumph loves the relentless. Start now.

Excerpts from Robin Sharma’s The 5AM Club

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma—which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.” —Steve Job

Excuses breed no genius... remember that small daily improvements, when done consistently over time, lead to stunning results.

Start Now!

Yet, the life of the caterpillar must end for the glory of the butterfly to shine. The old ‘you’ must die before the best ‘you’ can be born. You’re so smart not to wait until you have ideal conditions to step up to a work world and private life of stainless excellence. Great power is unleashed with a simple start. When you begin to close the loop opened by your utmost aspirations by making them real. Nature notices your effortful actions and then goes ahead and replies to your faithful commitment with a series of unanticipated wins. A year from now, you’ll be so happy you began today

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This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one

the being a force of nature instead of a feverish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community, and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no ‘brief candle’ for me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.

- George Bernard Shaw

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The 5AM Club Chapter 4 - Robin Sharma

All change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.

The soreness of growth is so much less expensive than the devastating costs of regret.

And never work only for the income. Labor for the impact. Make your dominant pursuit the heartfelt release of value that represents an uncommon magic that borders on the poetic. Demonstrate the full on expression of what’s possible for a human being to create. Develop the patience to stick with your dedication to absolute world-class output, even if over a lifetime you only generate a single masterpiece. To achieve this feat alone will have made your life’s journey a worthy trek. A standout. An exceptionalist. The Top 5% are a lot less concerned with fame, cash and approval and a lot more invested in punching above their weight class within their craft, playing above their pay grade around their talents and creating the kind of productivity that inspires—and serves—millions. That’s often why they make millions. So never mail it in. Always bring it on.

‘to find your best self you must lose your weak self.’ And that only happens through relentless improvement, continuous reflection and ongoing self-excavation. If you don’t keep rising daily you’ll get stuck in your life, for the rest of your life. Journalist Norman Cousins said: ‘The tragedy of life is not death but what we let die inside of us while we live.’

And we think about what those we most love will say about us when we’re gone. That’s when many of us make a giant shift: from seeking legitimacy in society to constructing a meaningful legacy. The last fifty years then become less about me and more about we. Less about selfishness and more about service. We stop adding more things into our lives and begin to subtract—and simplify. We learn to savor simple beauty, experience gratitude for small miracles, appreciate the priceless value of peace of mind, spend more time cultivating human connections and come to understand that the one who gives the most is victorious. And what’s left of your life then becomes a phenomenal dedication to loving life itself as well as a ministry of kindness to the many.

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...who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt

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The 5am Club, Chapter 2 - Robin Sharma

Renounce the common delusion that those who accumulate the most win. Instead, do work that is heroic - staggers your marketplace by the equality of its originality as well as from the helpfulness it provides.

Society has sold us a series of mistruths That pleasure is preferable to the terrifying yet majestic fact that all possibility requires hard work, regular reinvention and a dedication as deep as the sea to leaving our harbors of safety, daily. I believe that the seduction of complacency and an easy life is one hundred times more brutal, ultimately, than a life where you go all in and take an unconquerable stand for your brightest dreams. World-class begins where your comfort zone ends.

Suffering that happens along the journey of materializing your special powers, strongest abilities and most inspiring ambitious is one of the largest source of human satisfaction, A major key to happiness - and internal peace - is knowing you’ve done whatever it took to earn your rewards and passionately invested the effortful audacity to become your best.

Ideas are worth nothing unless backed by application. The smallest of implementations is always worth more than the grandest of intentions.

The place where your greatest discomfort lies is also the spot where your largest opportunity lives.

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

8 Things You Need to Chill Out About

1. The few things that aren’t going right – When things go wrong, take a moment to be thankful for all the other things that are still going right. And if you’re struggling to be thankful for what you have, be thankful for what you have escaped. Sometimes the best gifts in life are the troubles you don’t have.

2. Trying to label everyone and everything – Sometimes you’ve just got to take people and situations for what they are, appreciate them, and not try to label them or change them.

3. Worrying about what everyone else thinks – The minute you stop overwhelming your mind with caring about what everyone else thinks, and start doing what you feel in your heart is right, is the minute you will finally feel free.

4. Wasting time on the wrong people – You cannot make someone respect you; all you can do is be someone who can be respected. No matter how much you care, some people just won’t care back. At some point you have to realize the truth – that they no longer care or never did, and that maybe you’re wasting your time and missing out on someone else who does.

5. Old wounds and grudges – You will never find peace until you learn to finally let go of the hatred and hurt that lives in your heart. In order to move on, you must know why you felt the way you did, and why you no longer need to feel that way. It’s about accepting the past, letting it be, and pushing your spirit forward with good intentions.

6. Superficial judgments – Every human being is beautiful; it just takes the right set of eyes to see it.

7. Letting small disagreements snowball out of control – Don’t let a single poisonous moment of misunderstanding make you forget the countless lovable moments you’ve spent together.

8. Showing a lack of self-respect – Decide this minute to never again beg anyone for the love, respect, and attention you should be showing yourself. Choose to be your own best friend.

Source: http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/12/14/9-things-you-need-to-chill-out-about/ (Abridged)