My Name
Why is it problematic for a white man to ask about my name? My name is definitely unique. It is definitely not your normal run-of-the-mill "American" name. It's Japanese and intrinsically tied to my identity, specifically my Asian / Japanese-American identity. So when the first thing that a white man asks me about is my name, "Where does your name come from?" he is essentially asking me, "Where are you from?" And the implied rest of the question is "..because you certainly aren't American. You don't look 'American'; you don't have an 'American'-sounding name. You are different." This is the question I have learned to answer since I was a little kid, from the times I was teased as a kid, to college days when the professor wouldn't even bother trying to say my name, to now. My response is essentially scripted now. In fact, I responded to him with my generic scripted answer, just as I have gotten used to. I'd say most people like me (Asians with a unique name) have gotten used to it, and have gotten desensitized to it. Why is it problematic then? If most people aren't offended by it? Should they even be offended? I say yes. And to really understand why, you have to look at the bigger picture. There is this problem of white supremacy in this country. Essentially, everyone who is not white is considered an outsider. It has been this way throughout history, ever since the Europeans colonized this country and claimed it to be a white country, ever since they made it acceptable to own African slaves. Not only are non-whites considered outsiders or "others", we are of a different (lower) class of people, which is understandable since we live in a white supremacist society. It isn't completely obvious, but it can be seen in micro-aggressions, such as a white man asking me about my unique name. Even then, it isn't completely obvious. It isn't even blatantly offensive. So why is it a problem? My name, my identity, and my culture, are not for the enjoyment or the pleasure or the colonizing of white people. When someone asks me about my name and they are genuinely interested in *me* as a person, that is great and not a problem. The problem is when they ask about my name, and I tell them that my name is Japanese, and then they ask if I have ever been to Japan and go on telling me about their trip to Japan and their fascination with the Japanese culture, or whatever it might be. It is obvious then that they are not interested in me as a person, but they are merely using me as a means of telling me about their interest in Japan. Their curiosity about me is meant to satisfy them. Why is it a problem only when white people ask me about my name? I'm over-generalizing; it could apply to all Americans or Europeans, actually, or anyone else who has been desensitized to this type of thing. It is a problem, because it reinforces this notion of white supremacy in America and Eurocentrism, of "I am exceptional; I have the right to ask you these questions for my own conquering purposes." It has become normalized, which is why it isn't that obvious, but that doesn't mean it isn't a problem.