Baja, Sword Witch

ffxiv character/gpose/rp/community/whatever Ba-ja Bast - Crystal Mateus Under 18 DNI

[fenori]

Queen Sphene 🌟🥹

[yyymmmrrr]

[rgbaja]

A ramble about identity I guess.

This will not be articulate or well written. Im screaming into a void here, whispering some secrets into a hollow oak or empty grotto.

I don’t have a good sense of myself, and it scares the shit out of me. Im constantly worried that my enby-ness is just contextual indecisiveness, rather than a particular sense of gender. My loved ones cant identify my main interests because Im not sure I have main interests. I have ADHD and probably other neurodivergence, so I feel like a new thing fascinates me intensely and briefly, but never long enough to actually be called an interest. Which is a reasonably common symptom of ADHD, but for me its awful, deeply painful, because it feels alienating from an actual sense of self. What do I actually like? What do I even wish I was? Who is this meat thing I live in anyway?

I was always “the smart one” and never really wanted to be. I couldn’t lock in interests as a kid. My folks didnt like worldly obsessions because of religion and I think an honest desire for me to be well-rounded. Plus poverty until my early teens. I didnt have a drive to do anything in particular - maybe to write? I was a nerd, I liked knowing things, complicated things, but never got into the discipline of actually doing a real thing. Among my friends I was, as mentioned, the smart one - by far the physically weakest and slowest, I was the guy who read everything and could argue anything and knew all the stuff. When we played DnD I was the DM, or I was the wizard - in video games too, when that was relevant. I was a weird mix of charismatic and socially inept, I could turn on the charm but alienate with bad filters and a lot of ego. So I lost as many friends as I made.

Idk I dont know where Im going with this. I guess I thought if I could think about Who I Was when I was young I could understand something about What I Am under the muck of suffering and learning and reflexivity that is me in my 30s. I was the thing knower and the riddle solver. I never turned that into a knowledge career because tech and science bored me and those are what smart guys are supposed to do. I guess people really are who others project onto them in the moment and not much beyond that. I loved stories but here I am rapidly approaching middle age and ive never finished a project, not even fan fic or a nano or something. Nothing ever seems interesting enough to keep doing.

Its background noise to every stupid thing I do. I rarely finish video games, or tv shows, even ones I love. I cant settle on a class in any game and keep restarting. I always end up as the filler in like every activity because I don’t exist as a clear use case like everyone else does.

I dunno. Just venting. Will probably delete this.

[rgbaja]

at the cusp of adulthood Baja began to experience aetheric phenomena that made her life a living hell - random imbalances in aether causing outbursts of elemental chaos and drawing the attentions of fiends and other vile beings. This culminated in a voidsent attack on her village that resulted in the death of both Raelona and Papa Achtfrusk, among others. In her grief and agony, Baja fled, believing that Brave Crocus, and the village, thought her a curse

[sunflowers-and-scales]

“this character did not act in the most objectively logical way possible!” is not ! actually valid literary criticism

[sunflowers-and-scales]

i have trust that the media literacy enjoyers will find this one idk

[ahollowgrave]

what kind of headlines are written about the warrior of light, you think? what fills the gossip columns about them? what stories are fully made up, which have a nugget of truth to them, and which are true but so outlandish they may as well be fake? does a warrior of light plant stories? Do they submit "first-hand retellings" of the warrior of light's exploits like Peter Parker and his selling of Spider-man photos?

[rgbaja]

Baja lives loud so they absolutely encourage exaggeration of stories about them - but basically tries to keep it on the dl with regard to actual Warrior of Light stuff like Primal slaying, war w Garlemald, etc. Rumors that she drank Baderon’s cellar dry or managed to bed the Lord Admiral? Hell yeah, spread those rumors like jam. Whispers about the Bloodflowers/Scions/Gen/Minfilia etc? Might be a paddling. Especially if it involves anyone else, particularly a lover.

[rgbaja]

She was originally trained as a botanist, and she grew up among gardens and fields. She was, and is, fascinated by plants and cultivars, and possesses a rather prodigious ability to actually cultivate them, but she struggled with the more academic aspects of the discipline. As she grew, she became the small town's notorious, if mostly tolerated, rapscallion - the prankster, the flirt, the schemer, the occasional perpetrator criminal mischief and/or public intoxication. Her mothers understood - she had the adventurers drive, and she was gnawing on the figurative bars of their small town.

When she was a teenager, it also became obvious that, whatever her biological origins, she had borderline supernatural physical capabilities. Barely into adulthood, still gangly and awkward, and she could lift more than 4 farmhands, outrun a chocobo, or climb a 100ft vertical cliff-side without getting winded. Baja learned fighting from a retired pirate bosun who'd settled in their community, Papa Achtfrusk, and became the sort of de-facto village protector, a role of no small significance for a provincial town in the wake of the Calamity.

[rgbaja]

I've been working on re-inventing Baja, and I've finally started zeroing in on her character and story. I decided I wanted to do a full replay of MSQ, and do the photo-journal thing. *** Journey's Beginning: Meet Baja! Sundyrgeim "Baja" Bozkasch began her adventures in the South of Vylbrand, in the shadow of Limsa Lominsa. She was raised by adoptive parents from infancy, a pair of married roegadyn botanists Raelona Berkituwyn and Brave Crocus. The two women were always evasive with their daughter's origins. They would only say that her biological mother was Brave's sister, thus making her half-roegadyn by birth, and her father was a hrothgar from far away. They gave her her father's surname, despite insisting he was dead, for reasons unknown. Sundyrgeim was the name they gave her, a sea wolf name, but when she was barely a few years old a childhood friend called her Baja, a diminutive nickname of Dunefolk origin: "The Lower Down One" or more essentially, "Tiny." The name stuck.

[oneiroy]

RoevemberXIV #14: Climb

ft. @verysmallcyborg's fornax

[rgbaja]

okay so *no* I am not using interdimension travel *just because* the coffee is better. that is one reason among many

[enbnuuynoises]

Grabs your Hrothgar & Mi'qote like this

Ft. @chadhunkler's Yuriko + my own cat. Twiter link (feel free to use too!)

Bonus wide shot cause too good to leave out

[aether-gazing]

If you play FFXIV please like/reblog this post so i can follow you!!

[rgbaja]

laying out a basecoat

[rgbaja]

Tonight til late! Myself and the inestimable @geekoblique will be continuing our adventures in Spira with some #twitchstreaming of #finalfantasyx #twitch #stream #ffx #finalfantasy https://www.instagram.com/p/Byl3gc5HX0l/?igshid=7x1crt61vs25

[rgbaja]

Posted @withrepost • @geekoblique Streaming some FFX with @theseknives! Watch here: twitch.tv/theseknives * * Shop now! Https://geekoblique.etsy.com * * * #GeekOblique #Geek #Etsy #Etsyshop #TabletopGames #TabletopRpgs #Cosplay #DungeonsAndDragons #D20 #Leathercraft #Leather #Handmade #GeekFashion #ttrpg #ffx #finalfantasy #finalfantasy10 #finalfantasyx https://www.instagram.com/p/Byix5ONngVO/?igshid=bceply5phxez

[rgbaja]

LET MEE INNNNN #classicwow #worldofwarcraft twitch.tv/theseknives https://www.instagram.com/p/BxyGNvInxZY/?igshid=ruc39kpbz9er

[rgbaja]

beginning my journey through a childhood I never had, tonight on stream. Agenda for the level 5 capped stress test - Hit 75 skill fishing, enough enchanting to make myself a lesser magic wand, and try to kill Hogger! Watch at twitch.tv/theseknives #worldofwarcraft #wowclassic #twitch #twitchstream https://www.instagram.com/p/Bxxvk5zHj8y/?igshid=t9pr4vlgni1h