OMG MUM
Brother: Samuel L. Jackson and Bruce Willis should do a film together. Mum: But Samuel L. Jackson has already done a film with Bruce Forsyth.
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@robertasays
OMG MUM
Brother: Samuel L. Jackson and Bruce Willis should do a film together. Mum: But Samuel L. Jackson has already done a film with Bruce Forsyth.
Driving to Tesco's
Mum: Who's this singing?
Me: Panic! at the Disco.
Mum: Who? Pain au chocolat?
Mum: I descaled the kettle today...well, I gave it a good rub.
Me: haha
Dad: Did the Genie come?
Me: hehehehe
Dad:
Mum:
Me:
talking about Game of Thrones
Dad: It has a lot of boobs in it.
Me: No genitalia though.
Mum: Genitalia's not in it?
Me: No.
Mum: She must be filming something else then.
Me:
Mum: Genitalia......Jenni Talia.
Me: *LOL*
Mum: Oh did you hear about...
Me: Richard Griffiths died? Yeah I know.
Mum: Uncle Fester?
Me: Mum, what are you doing?
Mum: Do you expect me to talk?
No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die.
Me:
Mum: haha.
Brother: What would happen if you had a really big microwave and a really small microwave and put them inside each other and microwaved the microwave inside the microwave?
Dad:...............
Me: MICROWAVECEPTION
Me: OMG Monster's Inc is on!
Brother: How can you tell?
Me: How can you NOT tell?!
Brother: A lot of cartoons have monsters in.
Me: Like......
Brother: Bug's Life.
Me:
watching the million pound drop.
Me: Her name is Binky. WTF. That's the fat, mean one in 'Arthur'.
Mum:
Me: You know, the CBBC cartoon?
Mum:
Me: You know..... 'everyday when you're walking down da street.'
Mum:
Me: 'everybody dat you meet'.
Mum:
Me: 'has an original point of view'.
Mum: No.
You know when you say the wrong thing? Well he farted and I said, 'bless you.'
My brother.
watching 'Pulse' with Ian Somerhalder
Dexter (Ian): Can I show you something?
Me: Yes.
Mum: Your willy.
what guy is ever too tired to wank
It must be guys from Tommy. So much christianity they just go psycho. I bet if they were athiests they'd all be mysterious, sexy fuckers
this is gonna be one weird process of sucking from the bottom!
Me: I'd love to be a property developer.
Dad: You have to have some money to start with.
Me: Does it make a lot of money?
Dad: What?
Me: Does it make a lot of money?
Dad: What?
Me: Property developing.
Dad: What?
Me: PROSTITUTION.
Dad:
Me: .... property developing
Dad: Well, it depends, it doesn't make a lot of money over night.
Brother: Prostitution does.
my dad is video calling me from downstairs. what.
May: I bet he dumped her for someone else.
Roberta: ...for a burger.