[ch4lk34t3r]

h, i, j, k, lmao, p

[battleshipping]

the real forbidden snack

[wizardwritings]

remus lupin deserves the world, but the world does not deserve remus lupin.

[harrypotterfandomunite]

So simple, so effective

[fanonical]

for fun, luna transfigures herself into a fish so she can swim in the great lake

tuna lovegood

[wi-fu]

what is osu?

hell

[officialunitedstates]

me: has absolutely no idea what size an acre is in real people language

[sadgaywerewolf]

Severus Snape once intended to publicly kill a student’s pet as punishment for getting a potion wrong

Severus Snape, a teacher of children, took a 13 YEAR OLD’S PET and TRIED TO POISON IT and then proceeded to PUNISH THE STUDENT because the pet didn’t die

Severus Snape is a whiny, petty, self-absorbed abusive piece of shit there is no arguement here

[phallicsfelicis]

I’m not saying this isn’t true, but what book is this in?

[sadgaywerewolf]

Prisoner of Azakaban. During their first potions lesson, Neville misbrews a shrinking solution. As punishment, Snape says he’ll feed Nevill’e incorrect potion to his toad, Trevor, and that the potion will be a poison and kill his pet. 

Hermione helps him correct his potion, and when Trevor doesn’t die, Snape takes 5 points from Hermione

[mrsmarymorstan]

Reminder also that Trevor was a gift to Neville from his Uncle for getting into Hogwarts- a feat none of his family thought possible because he wasn’t “magic enough”.

So to him, Trevor is more than just a pet, he’s a reminder that he is a wizard and that his family are proud of him- and Snape wanted to kill him because he got a potion wrong i.e- because he wasn’t “magic enough”

[residentgoodgirl]

[aphony-cree]

this is why I love this joke:

Jesus was fond of telling his followers not to worry about how they’d afford food tomorrow because God would provide. But Jesus told them this while handing out free bread and encouraging them to help people who were in need, making them the outlet through which God would provide for others

My mother was a waitress, we live in an area that has a lot of Christians and people would often stiff her on tips. Instead they’d leave a pamphlet with quotes from Jesus saying not to worry because God would provide

Jesus’ message was never that God would magically put food on people’s tables. God would provide opportunities to help each other, like the boat captains offering to help the dying man. That only works if people actually help each other

When I first heard this joke as a teenager I laughed at the guy who didn’t take the help that was offered to him. As an adult, I think of all the Christian politicians who vote against food stamps and I want to tell them “You were the boat captain but you steered away from the man in need instead of offering him help. Is that really what God wanted you to do?”

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[arcaneetherofficial]

[drinkandthedevil]

OH MY GOD 

[fanonical]

reasons the harry potter universe is fucked up #82932: there is the ghost of a murdered child in the bathroom and everyone treats it like a minor inconvenience

[honeysuze]

ok so Ron says he doesn’t like spiders because when he was 3 the twins turned his teddy bear into a spider right? the twins are only 2 years older than Ron, which means they were FIVE YEARS OLD when they did this and I’m just??????? like they were five and they didn’t even have WANDS and they managed to deliberately turn a bear into a spider???? even if they managed to steal a wand from their siblings or parents that’s a really tricky bit of transfiguration and at age five most kids are just doing uncontrolled magic….. like TBH in my opinion Fred and George had more innate talent than the trio combined but they just wanted to chill and do pranks and I respect tf out of that

[poseidcn]

rupert: i need to go to the bathroom.

rupert: it’s a number two, it’s a number two!

[paddfoot]

arthur weasley is the only person i’m ok with clapping after the plane lands

[fanonical]

how is felix felicis not super fucking illegal in the harry potter universe like

fuck the philosopher’s stone, voldy shoulda just took a hit of felix and then he’d suddenly find himself alive in a hot new bod holding harry’s decapitated head and sipping a martini

[alrightevans-deactivated2015091]

17 sickles to a galleon and 29 knuts to a sickle seems like a pretty confusing system for a community of people who stop learning maths at the age of eleven

[samoyd1]

Sirius: James, I think you should play the role of my father.

James: I don't want to be your father.

Sirius: That's perfect. You already know your lines.