A Dumbass Motherfucker

He/They/It | Satin/Null | 21 y.o. | Artist/Writer | Enby Trans Masc

[satinsigils]

SatinSigils' Introductory Post!

Who Am I?

Hello, there! My name is Satin/Null, and I am an English-Australian neurodivergent, queer, trans man. I am 21 and use he/they/it pronouns.

I am active in mcytblr, witchblr and writeblr, though I'm a bit of a lurker. I have a habit of mass reblogging and liking and then disappearing for months.

I also love art and have been getting back into writing and art while I try and pull myself out of a depressive episode, so I figured one way to get in touch with my writing is to update my tumblr.

What do you post?

I'm hoping to post my art and writing, though atm, my blog is 90% reblogs lolol

I also post about my experience with aromanticism, asexuality, adhd, autism, mental illness, disability, being trans and the struggles all of that brings.

I'm working on properly tagging all of my posts but anything I post myself will be under the #mine tag, to start! (Please recommend anything you'd like me to add to the tags or things to tag going forward!!)

What are you working on?

Right now I have a LOT of slow moving writing WIPs I'm working on. I've compiled their titles, descriptions and statuses in a separate post you can find here. Just because it is so goddamn long

What are your other Social Medias?

Below is a list with direct links and if you wanna check out my carrd, its linked at the bottom :]

Instagram (obsolete, moved to Cara)

Twitch

YouTube

https://satinsigils.carrd.co/

If you can, please support me on Ko-Fi 🙏✨️ and check out my Commission Information

[creativepromptsforwriting]

Soft & Vulnerable

"I didn't know where else to go… so I came here."

"Can I stay? Just for tonight?"

"You make me feel like I'm not too much."

"I'm scared you'll stop loving me if I show you everything."

"I don't need you to fix it. Just… be here."

"You remembered. No one ever remembers."

"I didn't know love could feel like this."

"I didn't know how much I needed this until now."

"You always were my home."

"I don't know how to ask for help without feeling like a burden."

"I'm trying so hard not to cry right now."

"You're the only person who makes me feel safe."

"I didn't think anyone would notice I was hurting."

"Everyone needs someone to lean on sometimes."

"You can always lean on me. I will hold you up."

"I'm just so tired of it all. But never of you."

"We are not there yet, but I know eventually we will be."

"I wish I could be the version of me you see."

"I don't know how to be okay without pretending."

"With me, you will never have to pretend."

"I'm scared of what happens if I let you love me."

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or become a member! And check out my Instagram! 🥰

[satinsigils]

saving for later lol

[brightgoat]

Bonus:

[meltesh28]

animated a krusie moment... can't believe this is a real scene that happens

[satinsigils]

My Art is Hollow (A Poem about Depression, Art & Suicide)

CW: metaphorical and implied references to suicide, general descriptions of depression.

My art is hollow,

so is my heart.

My writing is thin;

its not built to last.

I am only depth,

yet theres none in what I make;

I'm a bottomless pit filled

with creations I hate.

I am not anything,

But I am leaden;

My bed weighed down

by the distant lies of heaven.

A body shaped dent

sunk into the sheets,

craving and crying

for some kind of release.

Death is a constant thought.

"Death is a solution."

But to cure the emptiness

with emptiness again is disillusion.

How can I cry to release a hollow void?

The void is nothingness, it cannot be destroyed.

It cannot evaporate, it cannot move,

It cannot feel or think, it cannot improve.

To write and paint, to draw and create,

it is to feel and to express, even for hate.

But how can I feel, how can I express,

how can I gain release from this depress?

When all there is to feel, is nothing at all,

just the expanding void, and the frigid cold.

How can I create, make something of worth that I will not hate?

When the depth of my soul is a never ending hole, only filled with emptiness, consuming anything at all.

So I sit and I stare, at the empty page, a blank canvas at every stage.

Everything is heavy, everything is light...

Oh how I wish I could remember those feelings of delight.

There was to be more to this poem,

but I feel the void expanding. I'm scared. But at least fear is something.

(the end is to imply either a sleep or a suicide attempt but i want to make it super clear I am not attempting. I'm just writing about my experience when depression romanticises death.)

[qsmpmiraheze]

Feliz Aniversário, Cellbit!

He is mentioned in the most QSMP News columns - 11 out of the 24 official ones mention him by name at least once.

He canonically solved the QSMP Global ARG on his in-game PC.

He gifted flowers to all the eggs whenever he greeted them, especially to Pomme, and had a dedicated backpack of flowers to do so. 

His in-game pets were named after his irl pets -- his dogs, Lobinho and Rui, along with his cats, Gengibre and Tofu. He and his girlfriend Lorena now have two more cats, Duninha and Chuvisco. 

He is asexual. 

Cellbit has thalassophobia (fear of deep water & deep sea creatures) and entomophobia (fear of insects, specifically, bugs with many legs).

He has a Bill Cipher tattoo (see below) as well as tattoos based on The Witcher, Hollow Knight, and Bo Burnham lyrics.

He is the creator of Ordem Paranormal, a hugely popular TTRPG series and system in Brazil. The two-part spin-off series Ordem Paranormal: Quarentena, featuring some of his fellow QSMP members, has the highest live viewer count of the TTRPG category on Twitch with over 215,000 live viewers.

His game Enigma do Medo became the fifth best-selling game in Brazil the week it came out and hit #1 on the Top Sellers list the day it released.

[aru]

Tumblr Code.

[geekishchic]

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

always reblog tumblr identification

[ty-bayonet-betteridge]

good god this just crossed my dash in the year of our lord 2023

[jeremysknoxes]

I LIKE YOUR SHOELACES??? IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2024??

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Let’s take it to 4 million, folks!

[alt-menu]

almost there!

[sociallyodd260]

TO 4 MILLION!!!!!!!!!

[snarky-wallflower]

THE ORIGINAL SHOELACES POST?? ON MY DASH IN 2024??

[satinsigils]

OMG NO WAY THE ORIGINAL OMG OMG OMG I CAN FINALLY REBLOG THIS LETS FUCKING GO

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

And a very happy Valentine's day to all happily married/engaged epileptic beekeepers prone to fainting spells, may you be kept safe from the plague!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Guess a lot of you didn't realize Mr. St Valentine has been pulling double duty

[x-noid-x]

san valentin ?

[honey002]

In regards of the Trump government scraping all trans inclusion in its queer information portion of its websites I have made this thing. Spread the word. Don't let them pretend we never existed.

P.S: Don't like! Reblog! <3

[depsidase]

[saywhat-politics]

[guerrillatech]

[political-us]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2024/10/26/elon-musk-immigration-status/

[depsidase]

[itsjustkori]

[gayfrogs7]

Yo, correct me if I am wrong please, but didn't Hitler rise to power because he promised to fix the German economy and people really liked that so they looked past everything else he was doing??? Like exactly what's happening in America right now???

So many people said they voted for Trump, put a truly evil person in power, because he said he'd fix the economy, and a little voice in my head is going, "Isn't that what happened with fucking Hitler??"

But I've seen no one point that out so maybe I'm miss remembering???????