"you have no idea, do you?"
They've been fighting. What's new.
It's become a bit of a routine for them by now. When it all becomes too much, when she's sick and tired of feeling nothing except for grief and fear and she just... snaps. It's him she goes to first. For fucking or for fighting. Anything to feel something more than this bottomless pit of dread.
They lost Seamus today. To a curse nobody knew the name of. A curse so horrific that Podmore had put him out of his misery with a clean Avada. Quick. And far less painful than what he had been enduring in the moments beforehand. That knowledge is a cold comfort when she'd witnessed her childhood friend writhing desperately on the ground pleading for his mother.
On her return to the safehouse, she'd been on bit of a rampage. And her target, as always, was Malfoy. It's his own fault, really. He's always there. Watching and waiting. As if he knows what's coming. As if he's welcoming it. Give it to me. I can take it. He'd whispered that to her once, against her naked breast as she moved atop him. At the time she'd thought he'd been urging on the roll of her hips, begging for a faster pace, but sometimes she wonders if he meant more. If he meant her rage, her sorrow, her fear. If he intended to tuck it away for her. He is always there. Practically begging to take it.
Her nose is ruddy and her cheeks wet with frustrated tears. She'd stormed out of the house after a particularly creative slew of insults and he'd followed her out into the woods. Somewhat embarrassingly because the wards are pulled in tight around the perimeter and there really is nowhere to so she ends up pacing along the faint shimmer of it. Ranting at him. Accusing him of all manner of things he hasn't done yet. Running off. Packing up and using all those inherited galleons to disappear. To leave them. To leave her.
He's a lifeline she's been clinging onto and he's going to tire of her sooner rather than later so maybe the less painful thing to do would be to put this thing between them out of it's misery too. Only she's never been clean and quick. She's always been impulsive, messy. Torn, bloody edges.
He steps closer and she flinches away, even though every fibre of her being is screaming at her to move closer to him, to tuck herself into the warmth she knows so well. Hermione's accepted by now that she's in love with him. Or maybe the idea of him. She's not sure. All she does know is that she can't stand this. How anybody stand this?
You have no idea, do you?
"No idea about what?" there's still that bite to her words, but it wavers on the last bit and she thinks she might be close to breaking.