[wielkiimarzyciel]

[sincere-surrender]

I don’t get why people can’t just leave me alone if they don’t actually like me. They keep thinking I’m acting/performing as if this shit is fucking fun for me.

[cutecapybarapics]

[sincere-surrender]

𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 >> 𝐒𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠

ꜰᴇᴇʟ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇᴍᴏᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ꜱᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴇᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ

[sincere-surrender]

It’s as if I can’t help but ignore my instincts. No matter what people will always work their way closer to me just to try and victimize themselves bc I can’t respond how they need me to to feel secure.

I am genuinely, verifiably better off alone.

[stargirl1l]

[sincere-surrender]

The instinct to resist remains, but it fades as I continue to surrender to the themes of my reality.

[mementomorih]

[sincere-surrender]

Guy I wanted to be with triggered a core wound by pointing out different ways that I’m kid-like and now I need to die alone.

[sincere-surrender]

I can say with confidence he didn’t have malicious intent one way or the other the times it’s happened (he doesn’t know it’s a trigger). But that doesn’t stop my mind from spiraling unfortunately. 🫩

I just can’t handle feeling pathetic & like a child in comparison to my partner or being accused of sparking someone’s ddlg kink again.

[xanaxfarts]

04-18-2024

[sincere-surrender]

Guy I wanted to be with triggered a core wound by pointing out different ways that I’m kid-like and now I need to die alone.

[ehxia-blog]

[sincere-surrender]

Regression is not relaxing, healing or voluntary for me.

It is a default setting I had to build whole alters around in order to be able to seem normal in day to day life. I won’t even unmask around myself bc I hate being an adult child. Nothing I do has been able to force me to permanently mature out of things that are deemed childlike mannerisms that come out if I ever get too comfortable and forget to police myself.

It also makes me sick the amount of partners I’ve had that I was comfortable enough to be more of myself around only for them to drag me into their predatory kinks.

I have literally tried to kill myself over this inability to internally grow up but I’m currently under watch so I can’t try again for some time.

[sincere-surrender]

My most recent villain origin story moment was relapsing into orthorexia losing > 10 lbs watching everyone around me including strangers suddenly become nicer and more interested; only to then be discarded when I relapsed into BED & gained the weight back.

I hate this shallow species so fucking bad.

[sincere-surrender]

Anyway all that triggered another ortho relapse and I lost 8lbs in 8 days. Learning how truly evil people are killed my appetite real bad.

[u-me-and-insomnia]

[sincere-surrender]

I hate how I convince myself that the most common coincidences are sacred synchronicities 🙄

[sincere-surrender]