gal

sideblog | no niche | she’s 19 and filipino

[slutmoda]

[anancientheart]

ok hear me out - what if all of life is magic and we just forget? what if your heartbreak is a gift just as much as your love? imagine that you’re more than a human being and we’re here for just a little while, and everything feels like so much because we can’t contain it in our little human bodies, so we have two choices in living: numb out or dive deep. and if you dive deep, you end up creating in some way or another. all of humanity has coped with being human by creating music and art and movies, by witnessing the gift of nature, by falling in love (and then making art about it). maybe it is better if it’s too much. what if we can crack ourselves open even more? or just make a little promise to ourselves to give in to this experience each morning? see what it has to offer you.

[m-e-w-666]

ok i wanna see a thing so vote if you’re white or not

white

not white

Voting ended onFeb 23, 2023

and i usually don’t do this but pls rb for a bigger sample size

[nour-ishment]

“All of a sudden two decades have passed and you still have not kissed anyone with tongue, or kissed anyone at all for that matter, or had a 3 AM conversation with someone who would rather look into your eyes for ten minutes straight than talk. You have never worn a lover’s sweater or “forgotten” it at home in your bedroom just so you would have an excuse to see them again. You have never even stood face-to-face with someone who makes your hands shake so hard it feels like they’re both having a separate anxiety attack. This causes you much guilt and self-blame and sadness but above all, an overwhelming curiosity. Are you really that ugly, that unwanted, that uninteresting, that boring, that no one, absolutely no one, has ever looked at you like the only thing on earth? The answer is no. The better answer is that someone out there, somewhere in the world, is “wondering what it’s like to meet someone like you,” and they have two decades worth of love stored in their veins like a shoot-‘em-up drug, and they’re just about ready to inject it into someone else’s bloodstream. All you have to do is roll up your sleeves and wait for it to happen. At times you felt so lonely you could stand at the edge of a cliff with nothing beneath you but air and grass and a long, long way down, and you’d still feel emptier than that canyon itself. Maybe you even danced with yourself alone in your room a few times, arms outstretched around a ghost, pretending someone else’s hands were on your waist, someone else’s eyes boring into yours. Or maybe you fell temporarily in love with strangers on public transportation, fell in love with anybody who so much as accidentally brushed your hand on the way past. For you, falling in love with dozens of people a day was a coping mechanism for not having anyone to love you in return. But people are not eggs and falling in love with a dozen of them does not mean your shell will remain uncracked. One day you’re going to hit the point where you’re so desperate for human contact that you’re going to snap in half and all your love will bleed out like egg yolk. But someone out there is eating a bowl of Ramen noodles right now, or putting on slippers, or settling into bed. They are doing all the normal things that you’ve done in your own life. They are just like you. They have cellulite and extra fat in all the wrong places and goals and fears and doubts and bad handwriting. The truth is that they are just like you, and being just like you, they’re looking for a lover too. They’re what you might call a soulmate. They think they’re all alone in feeling the way they do, but you’re really both two halves of a whole. And one day you’ll meet them, bump into them on the street, and your two halves will be put together, and you’ll make one.”

— Writings For Winter - For Twenty Year-Olds who have never been loved  (via beepboopboopbeep)

[aroacexuemeng]

the (almost) complete Bungou Stray Dogs reading list

as a dostoyevsky fan i first discovered bsd by being very confused whenever i saw pretty anime boys in the crime and punishment tag, so now i’m using bsd to discover more classic literature, and you can too!

this is my personal list straight from my phone notes app, of the most significant works mentioned in the series. italized titles are those that i really couldn’t find an english translation of but they’re there for completeness (if you’ve found one please comment!)

i’ve also got links to the french text of all works that are originally in french, because i read french and as said this list is just adapted from my personal notes hahaha

special shoutout goes to @bsd-bibliophile and their website from where i got many of the links, especially the works of the japanese authors, as well as the bsd recommended reading list ❤️

links are pdfs unless otherwise specified

the armed detective agency:

no longer human by dazai osamu

the moon over the mountain by nakajima atsushi (beast beneath the moonlight)

an encouragement of learning by fukuzawa yukichi (all men are equal)

o brother, you must not die by yosano akiko (thou shalt not die)

kunikida doppo’s works

the makioka sisters by tanizaki junichirou (light snow) [epub]

naomi by tanizaki junichirou

be not defeated by the rain by miyazawa kenji [online]

demon pond by izumi kyouka (demon snow)

edogawa ranpo’s works

i am a cat by natsume souseki

futon by tayama katai

the port mafia:

rashoumon by akutagawa ryuunosuke (link includes o-gin that akutagawa gin is based on)

this soiled sorrow by nakahara chuuya (upon the tainted sorrow) [online]

golden demon by ozaki kouyou

falling camellia by hirotsu ryuurou

the dancing girl by mori ougai (elise)

vita sexualis by mori ougai [epub]

higuchi ichiyou’s works (no ability specified yet, but see for example encounters on a dark night)

midwinter memento by tachihara michizou

lemon by kajii motojirou

dogra magra by yumeno kyuusaku [website, incomplete translation] 

madness of george III by alan bennett (madness of the jewel king) pretty sure this one’s still copyrighted, hence why they couldn’t use alan bennett’s name for ace, and why i can’t find any pdf copies

the guild:

the great gatsby by f. scott fitzgerald (the great fitzgerald)

little women by louisa m. alcott

the grapes of wrath by john steinbeck [online/pdf/epub]

the scarlet letter by nathaniel hawthorne

gone with the wind by margaret mitchell [online/pdf/epub]

anne of green gables by l. m. montgomery (anne of the abyssal red)

moby dick by herman melville

the adventures of tom sawyer by mark twain (huck finn and tom sawyer)

the adventures of huckleberry finn by mark twain (huck finn and tom sawyer)

the black cat by edgar allan poe (the black cat in the rue morgue) [online]

the murders in the rue morgue by edgar allan poe (the black cat in the rue morgue) [online]

the call of cthulhu by h. p. lovecraft (the great old ones) [online]

the rats in the house of the dead:

the house of the dead by fyodor dostoevsky [online/epub]

crime and punishment by fyodor dostoevsky

a feast in time of plague by alexander pushkin [online/pdf/epub]

the precipice by ivan goncharov (this is an abridged translation please buy the new 2020 unabridged translation titled malinovka heights please it’s one of my all-time favourite books please thank you for your attention)

the perfect crime by oguri mushitarou

the decay of angels:

the decay of the angel by mishima yukio [online]

the overcoat by nikolai gogol

dracula by bram stoker [online/pdf/epub] (bram’s ability isn’t named yet but come on who are we kidding)

sigma has been speculated to be a reference to russian writer and journalist sergey nikolayevich syromyatnikov, or possibly sigmund freud

the hunting dogs:

mirror lion by fukuchi ouchi (online summary)

gasp of the soul by ookura teruko (see bewitching shadow which is the only work of anyone from the hunting dogs with full english translation!)

priceless tears by jouno saigiku

plum blossoms in snow by suehiro tetchou (wikipedia)

special division for unusual powers:

discourse on decadence by sakaguchi ango

hail in the begging bowl [online/pdf] (an essay by james abrams on the life and poetry of taneda santoka, from which the ability name is derived)

order of the clock tower:

and then there were none by agatha christie

dark era:

strait is the gate by andré gide (french original, online)

flawless by oda sakunosuke (see his other works from the stories of osaka life collection that has been translated into english, which can be found on the @bsd-bibliophile website)

the long goodbye by raymond chandler [online]

55 minutes:

the time machine by h. g. wells

the mysterious island by jules verne (french original, online/epub)

matasaburou of the wind by miyazawa kenji [online] (atsushi’s alias)

johann wolfgang von goethe (mentioned)

william shakespeare (mentioned)

victor hugo (mentioned) les misérables french original 

fifteen + storm bringer:

illuminations by arthur rimbaud [online] (french original, online/epub)

paul verlaine’s poetry [online/epub] (french original, online/epub)

frankenstein by mary shelley (adam frankenstein)

gaiden:

another by ayatsuji yukito (volume 1, volume 2, volume 3)

the summer in the ubume by kyougoku natsuhiko (an inherent drop)

yesterday’s shadow tag by tsujimura mizuki

dead apple:

shibusawa tatsuhiko’s works (referred to collectively as draconia, see fish scales which has been translated into english)

chapter titles and other references:

franz kafka’s works (our man asagiri) metamorphosis [online/epub] the trial [online/epub]

the setting sun by osamu dazai (have you seen all those dazai sunset scenes in the anime)

the black lizard by hirotsu ryuurou

the case of murder on D hill by edogawa ranpo (murder on D street, ch 6)

poems of days past by nakahara chuuya (back in the day, ch 11) see poem collection

light, wind and dreams by nakajima atsushi (even if my head be mistaken, ch 29)

if you’re gonna read the above you should probably be acquainted with robert louis stevenson’s works, like the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde [online/epub]

tower of silence by mori ougai (the silent tower and the raven’s feast, ch 30)

husband and wife by nakajima atsushi (cherrirs, ch 43)

dreaming of butterflies by hagiwara sakutarou (ch 65-66)

the sheep song by nakahara chuuya (the chant to activate chuuya’s corruption)

les sœurs de charité by arthur rimbaud (the chant to activate verlaine’s corruption) french original

this is all the main works i could find, but naturally bsd is chock-full of literature references so please feel free to add to this list if you have anything! again i have to direct you to bsd-bibliophile’s online library for more complete resources and relevant authors that are not directly mentioned in bsd + a bunch of other useful content, i swear that page is one of my most-visited websites hahaha

other great resources for free books that have entered the public domain, where i got most of the links to the western books on this list:

project gutenberg

free editorial

planet ebook

planet publish

happy reading!

[familyabolisher]

btw most universities to my knowledge keep their reading lists behind access barriers (ie. only students enrolled at the institution on the course in question can see them) so i thought i’d just let you all know that durham university has all of its reading lists available online for free without needing student access. do with this information what you will.

[nyloncurtains]

Benoit Blanc, entering the tardis for the first time: now mr doctuh… when you said it were bigguh on the insahd.. i mistook that fowuh a jest… but it seems thayut said blue box is, if my own eyes do nawt decieve me, indeed bigguh on the insahd

[stclements]

[slutmoda]

Haikyuu getting a gacha game is going to be so painful for me because atsumu and osamu are definitely those characters who are NEVER going home 😭

[slutmoda]

Completely forgot the haikyuu movie was happening out of denial lmao

[slutmoda]

going to watch wakanda forever rn because people on twitter are rude as hell

[nostalgia-babi]

✦ bratz: passion 4 fashion pt.2

[20o1-deactivated20240129-deacti]

September will be filled with joy.

September will be filled with love.

September will be filled with trust.

September will be filled with peace.

September will be filled with happiness.

September will be filled with blessings.

[teathattast]

[slutmoda]

Teka lang putanginaaaaaa

[evilwizard]

you see me on the front lawn in a short skirt and pom poms whooping and hollering and performing a complex cheer routine—the whole time staring straight up at the night sky. several quadrillion miles away, a black hole starts sucking in stars just a little bit faster

[slutmoda]

“The movies won’t animate Sakusa and Atsumu because they’re background characters”

[dimis-tsimiskis-hoffman]

they literally can’t not animate them, they’re in the same team as hinata post - timeskip, how will they not get animated ??? who the fuck is saying this shit i just wanna talk 💀

[slutmoda]

ik they’ll be animated but im a sakuatsu shipper and twitter is clowning their 13 panels 😭