Possible System.

Questioning OSDD

[somewhatheresomewhatthere]

Hello, I, or I suppose we are a possible OSDD system.

Here’s everyone I’m aware of as host plus a name or a brief description, not everyone likes sharing their name or has decided on a name for this account [for privacy reasons, none of us can use our actual names]

📌 Host [duh] [she/him] [likely frontstuck]

🪽Guardian angel [he/whatever]

🪦 living dead boy [he/it/she]

🌸 Wolfie [She/they]

🖤 missing plot [they….?]

📻 Radio [He/it/they]

Possible fragment[s?] [others?]

⚡️introject?

🤍 ???????????? [wont talk but too frequent to ignore?]

As a disclaimer, take everything we may say with a grain of salt. As we might not be a system at all. symptoms have only been more noticeable within the past year.

We aren’t totally seeking out a diagnosis, though we are back in therapy so if one comes then it does, and if it doesn’t, oh well.

Though we are traumagenic, we are Endo nuetral, The brain is a complex thing and we are only trying to figure out ourselves.

We certainly aren’t fully medicalists? If that’s the term. As a system we don’t believe the doctors are always correct. We are all just trying to get by and explain our complex experiences in our bodies.

[somewhatheresomewhatthere]

We’d really like to post system comics, but we are unfortunately very scared of an aspect of our style getting recognized. Sighs.

[somewhatheresomewhatthere]

Since our switches are way more akin to slowly becoming our alters, it gets really confusing who is in front sometimes. Right now, I’m assuming it’s the host, maybe blended with someone, but I can’t tell.

This also becomes confusing when we are pretty sure we have an alter we hadn’t seen before who’s showing up slowly.

Not sure when they got here, where they came from, but they also don’t have a form. So I’m not sure what to make of them but I believe they’re definitely here.

[mintmatcha]

came back wrong but its from the perspective of the person who came back

[mintmatcha]

Seeing pictures of yourself -the real you, the one people miss, the one people look for in your eyes- is like staring into a foggy mirror. The parts are there, you think, but the details are lost.

Someone who loves you makes you breakfast. You thank him and eat it despite the fact the eggs are too crisp on the sides and missing much needed salt. He says its how you like it, but that just makes that angry, unfettered itch in the back of your brain grow stronger.

How I used to like it, you want to say, how I used to be.

You grip your butter knife harder and light catches the polished metal. The glimpse you catch of yourself in the cutlery looks nothing like the photo on the mantle.

[somewhatheresomewhatthere]

I think as a whole I am coming to terms with the fact that I do in-fact have alters.

I’ve been feeling like I’m faking because of how fuzzy some things are, but I think that’s…the entire point.

I don’t plan on telling anyone in our personal lives, because it’s such an internal experience that I just don’t want them to view us differently. I get the feeling that we are all too scared of them treating us differently.

Especially because our experience is closer to different parts of the same whole.

It’s easy enough for my alters to tag along on adventures and front occasionally without being noticed, so as long as they’re happy, I’m happy too. We all enjoy the name of our body/I as host definitely identify with it the most.

So, yeah.

I don’t know if I’m going to ask our therapist for help on seeking out a diagnosis, because the thing is I don’t know that it’s affecting our life enough that it could even be considered a disorder.

But the fact of the matter is, our existence as a whole is best described by plurality.

We do want to meet others who are plural, so, please feel free to interact.

[somewhatheresomewhatthere]

Any other systems have a guy who’s like, kind of a fictive but moreso took that form because it was a comfort to the host?

I think he’s pretty awesome. Apparently he’s a decently old part of our system [🪦 sorta knew him, but didn’t know what he was at the time, we still thought we were one person.]

And when I, the host, was going through a really bad time last semester and latched onto a character he essentially went “Hmm…this guys a healer? That’s like me”

Anyway, I just thought it was interesting. I hear about fictives becoming parts of systems all of the time but we really only have him, and a possible dormant fragment.

- 📌

[somewhatheresomewhatthere]

Host said I was dormant in our post, but hm…what’s this? Who’s co conscious?

Yeah.

Anyway.

- 📻

[fictfrenzy]

you know?

[permanenteclipse]

Idk about anyone else, but when I was convinced I couldn't be a system because I hadn't experienced all of the most horrific violent traumas possible in childhood, I didn't need someone to tell me "Well DID works by making you forget trauma so maybe you did and don't remember!" I didn't even need someone to tell me "Dissociative trauma disorders don't have to be caused by stereotypical ideas of extreme violence, sometimes children dissociate to cope with something as simple and commonplace as bullying." I actually needed someone to tell me "If you're trying to understand who you are and communicate that to the world, does the lens of plurality complicate that or simplify it?"

[neo-pilled]

Common things in DID that no one likes to talk about

- switches that feel like you’re turning into someone else rather than them taking control (non-possessive switching)

- being unable to recognize amnesia until something requires you to remember something you forgot

- staying in the front for weeks at a time

- being unable to communicate with alters internally (this is so common why does everyone act like this is weird?)

- feeling like you don’t have any problems because you feel disconnected from them

- constant denial

- rapid identity, label, and appearance changes

- comorbidities, particularly personality disorders, anxiety disorders, and the schizophrenia spectrum

- autism (there is science pointing towards autistic people being more susceptible to trauma)

- disliking your system

- wanting final fusion

[anti-endo-pdid-positivity]

What caused your trauma doesn't matter in your validity as a system, only the fact you dissociated as a child to cope with it. You're valid if your trauma:

Was sexual abuse Was physical abuse Was emotional abuse Was psychological abuse Was medical abuse Was physical neglect Was emotional neglect Was medical neglect Was something other than what I have listed

If it happened and caused trauma responses, it is trauma no matter why it is there. The only reason someone should care about what caused you trauma is if they are a therapist or significant other who is trying to help you heal. You do not owe explanations to anyone.