So I turned 68246 a few years ago and I figured it was probably time I finally get my drivers license so I only have to worry about the pyramid scheme changes not the driving without a license charges next time. I do think those changes are stupid, Ive been driving my car without a license since before cars were invented, but I keep failing the test somehow. So. I was taking the driving test and I figured that I had been failing before because I had been hitting to few people(usually between 20-30), so I went out of my way to hit 93 people. It was a new record for me. But I still failed! So I asked the instructor, “How many people do I need to hit to pass? This is ridiculous!” And she said, with growing horror in her eyes, “None, you’re not supposed to hit anybody. I have to call the police now.” So I got arrested for “vehicular manslaughter.” Which is not real! Car are for hitting people. If you wanted to get somewhere, you would ride a bike. They’re making everything illegal nowadays. Anyways, I was in court earlier today for the “vehicular manslaughter” and I got released! I don’t have money for a lawyer anymore, so I had to call my friend, you know, the one with too many eyes, to look a the judge really hard so she would disintegrate. Worked like a charm yet again! It was, unfortunately, in exchange for my darkest secrets(im running out of them now) but it’s worth it. Then, when I got home to my pit, I found my new drivers license in the mail! Turns out, using my turn signal canceled out the “vehicular manslaughter.” The DMV said they had never heard of anyone use a turn signal before and was really impressed.
im the founder of a new startup for a new GLP-1 medication that lets you place bets on your own weight loss and win big using the power of AI. you've probably seen my commercials on every channel
here to make an aesthetic argument for the Virginia redistricting:
The old map is very boring.
Wow, the districts are blobs. No artistry, no compassion or tension, just "yep, the things are the way they are." This map is designed by people who hate life and happiness.
The new map is something worth admiring.
This map is designed by people who love art. All the districts look odd by themselves, but in this tapestry they combine to make a glorious flow from everywhere in Virginia to the hearts of Virginian culture. Even in the Appalachian southwest, the two forks end up pointing towards NOVA and Richmond.
In this way, it almost reminds of Munch's "Scream."
The curling lines in the painting all go towards the man; the painting is all about him. In this chaotic world, there is a form of beauty that it all spirals into the perspective of this one man. In the art of congressional districts, however, there is no need for the boardwalk grounding the image in a form of reality; the districts do highlight the reality of the good places in Virginia.
I'd want to take a look again at the map, but with the broader flow of the districts shown using lines:
Every line flows towards the places that make Virginia matter. It draws the eyes from the broad strokes in the rural districts to the finer details near Virginia's cities. Especially in NOVA, near DC, the detail inherently draws the eyes to where all Virginia's progress comes from. Richmond almost has a spiraling effect around it, and you have to know that an important city is there to appreciate finding the ends of the districts in that region. Last, we see Hampton Roads. On the coastline, it's easy to miss, especially with the commotion leading to NOVA, but there are some subtle details nodding to the importance of the region in Virginian history.
Other notes on district design and beauty after the cut:
This map, now used by Texas, does highlight the good regions, but they must be looked for. Most notable are Houston and the Dallas-Fort Worth area. It's clear how little importance Texas places on their cities, as the majority of the action in the districts is happening within the rural areas. However, if you look carefully enough you can see the districts slowly get smaller and smaller as your eyes circle in to Houston. In this case, as opposed to Virginia's new map, the eyes aren't pulled straight to the good areas, but instead gradually drawn in through noticing finer and finer detail.
Dallas/Fort Worth does attract the eyes a bit more directly, especially when reading the map as one would read a book and focusing on northernmost Texas, yielding a district that points directly to Dallas. Unfortunately, this robs us of the ability to follow any possible flow of the eyes to get to the city, and instead must first take a broader look around Dallas to notice northeast Texas all pointing in its direction. This map forces you to encounter Dallas in a certain way instead of discovering it for yourself through any line your eyes would follow.
Austin and San Antonio would have been much more interesting had the detail of the Texas gerrymander not been so fine. It would have to be appreciated from closer, with a larger size so the detail could be adequately captured, and even then the nature of the spirals and surgical incisions around the cities make for a worse viewing than Virginia.
Illinois
This map is one of the most interesting and beautiful I've seen. Obviously, the heart of Illinois is Cook County and Chicago, which you wouldn't immediately have your attention drawn towards if you began by looking straight to the middle. Fortunately, district 13 there (or the flow of district 15's two sections, or the bottom of district 17) leads you straight to the bottom of district 2, which then leads you straight to Chicago and the wonderful mess surrounding it. If you follow the general direction of what I can only call an explosion away from Chicago, you'll end up in district 17, which will lead you back to district 2 to loop again. I colored some of the districts a year and a bit ago (https://www.tumblr.com/xikiea/766177675158192128/illinois-w-its-congressional-districts-are-very), and the reason it could be like this was because of how important Chicago is to Illinois congressional districts.
Real talk, I genuinely do like the aesthetics of the new Virginia gerrymander and ended up making this semi-joke of a post. I have not said a single line here I don't believe, but my appreciation of these aesthetics is separate from my unending support for the Illinois and Virginia maps and my disdain for every Texas Republican.
I have finally finished what was my initial plan for the Atomic Jacket
Patches are sewn on and everything that was painted has a special coat added.
Now for a big reveal!
Phosphorescence!!!
And the blue one at that. It mimics Cherenkov radiation. It's not very strong, unless left for a while under the sunlight, but it can do for now.
Currently, I am thinking about what I could add to the Jacket. Perhaps I will paint arm bones with bleach along the sleeves to mimic radiographs. More patches are also in consideration.
Greenpeace is incredibly hypocritical. You can’t say you want to say you want to save the planet and then say nuclear power isn’t a solution. It is. It’s the best one.
one time i met a person in colorado who said he wanted to be the ultimate colorado man: the mustache, a mullet, and a tattoo wrapping around the arm. fun times, hope he's doing well
season 1: I'm Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London. My professional opinion is that this is all horseshit and everyone that isn't me needs psychiatric help. Statement ends.
season 2: Supplemental: God lives inside the printer and he keeps telling me my assistants are murderers. I am inclined to believe him based on the fact that Martin told to have a nice day. Innately suspicious behavior.
season 3: My only friends are my ex-girlfriend, her cat, and the many scars I've gotten from various monsters and fear cultists.
season 4: You know, just being socially adept would solve a lot of my problems. Unfortunately, I was traumatized so thoroughly by age eight that I learned the best way to make friends is to blink at them slowly until they get the idea. This does not work when your evil patron god uses eyeballs to devour fear.
season 5: Either Jonah Magnus tells us where he took all the good cows, or my boyfriend and I bash his head in with a lead crowbar. It's his choice.
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