#ace discource

[thingsisaidweredumb]

as an ace person i just need to say it’s really fucking rude and disgusting to see gen-zers who were involved in ace discourse and destroyed the ace community talk about it like it was just some cringey thing they did as teenagers.

like no 22 year old kid. destroying a thriving community of queer people, threatening us, harassing us, coming for us, and kicking us out of the larger community wasn’t just cringey. it wasn’t just stupid.

it was violent. it was cruel. and it was amoral. 

you kids coming out of this being like “lmao remember when i thought that and made a blog specifically to attack people??? how silly and ineffectual” NO it was NOT silly and NOT ineffectual. YOU HURT PEOPLE.

when you apologize for it, you can’t dismiss it. you can’t be like “i did that but lmao it was stupid and i was 16!” you gotta acknowledge that PEOPLE DIED. you were tricked BY THE TERFS to attack us. and everyone older than you TOLD YOU THAT but you insisted that you didn’t need to learn history because you’re so fucking self absorbed anything that isn’t about you is wrong. 

you have to acknowledge all of this for your apologies to matter. otherwise you’re literally telling ace people to just get over it. and honestly.... you’re STILL looking down on us and invalidating our feelings and experiences. you’re STILL talking as if we have no right to be here and honestly FUCK ALL OF YOU

[bye-bi-birdie]

Remember back like, I don't know time is fake maybe two years ago, when ace discourse was bigger because reasonable people still hoped they could change gatekeepers minds, back then which feels like a century ago, when lots of us said:

"Hey you know this isn't going to end here, even if you're not aspec and you want to say you're "neutral" or whatever because it doesn't affect you, even if you think you need to exclude aspecs but that will be the "end", no matter your views on this you know it won't end here right? Exclusionists are going to turn on other identities and just keep going forever"

And I remember lots of people actually predicting pan discourse would be the next big thing, but lots of exclusionists absolutely 100% insisted "no, this is just about aspecs. We don't want to exclude anyone else, look we decided the acronym is LGBTPN, pan and nonbinary are right in there, lots of us are pan and nonbinary imagine thinking we'd try and exclude pan people they're SGA so of course they're included"

And I'm not talking about the people who were already transmeds or anti mogai or panphobic because there were plenty of exclusionists who were all those from the start, just about all those people who swore up and down "no it's just about aspecs, it won't turn around on anyone else" and acted like it was ridiculous to suggest pan people (and nonbinary people too but I'm seeing more panphobic stuff recently) had anything to worry about.

Remember that? I think about it a lot.

[deactivatingsoon666]

god I am so sick of the whole “uwu if you’re anything other than heterosexual, heteroromantic, and cisgender then you’re queer”

Polyamory is not inherantly lgbt

Asexuals and aromantics (and anything else on the “ace spectrum”) is not inherantly lgbt

THE ONLY THINGS INHERANTLY LGBT ARE LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, AND TRANSGENDER (INCLUDING NON-BINARY).

Pansexuality completely disregards the history and meaning of bisexuality and is incredibly disrespectful

Queer is NOT an umbrella term for the entire LGBT community

Sorry for the rant, tumblr just gets so badly on my nerves sometimes

[vampish-glamour]

Idk I feel like a lot of people would be more open to including ace/aro people in the lgbt community if there wasn’t this whole “spectrum” thing going on.

Because the fact is, if you’re straight, cis, and claim to be demisexual because you need to be friends with someone before being attracted to them... that’s not lgbt. It’s not on the ace or aro spectrum, because there’s no need for a spectrum. You either feel sexual/romantic attraction, or you don’t.

“But I hardly feel attraction!”

You have low libido. Or you don’t have anyone around you who you’d find attractive.

“But I need a certain connection to somebody before being attracted to them!”

That’s how you experience your attraction. It’s the same as somebody who doesn’t need to get to know somebody before being attracted to them. Sexuality is who you feel attraction towards—the same sex, the opposite sex, either sex, no sex. It’s not how you feel that attraction.

At the end of the day, no matter how you feel attraction, how often or how little you feel it.... you’re not asexual or aromantic unless that attraction meter is at zero.

So to see straight cis people call themselves the q word, and then say “oh it’s because I only feel attraction when I get to know somebody!!” It annoys me. You don’t get to use that word. You’re not any sexuality other than heterosexual. And that’s okay! I’m not here for all that “down with the straight/cis” shit on tumblr.

But, these people do get lumped in with ace/aro people. And these people want to be included in the lgbt movement, despite being straight and cis. But they only experience attraction sometimes, so apparently they’re lgbt.

So yeah, I don’t want those people to be included in a movement specifically created to keep them out, just because of the way they experience their attraction. And I really do think that if we were just talking about aces and aros, people who do not under any circumstance experience romantic and/or sexual attraction, the exclus/inclus discourse wouldn’t be as heated as it is, because we wouldn’t have to take into consideration literal straight cis people who aren’t even ace and/or aro who want to be lgbt.

[anger-homo]

Ace exclus blog will cancel Straight aces because of home of phobia then turn around and lick the boots of the Straight girl who watch anime and Straight men with a lesbian fetish.

[elven-alium]

all of the people saying that they’d respect a-spec people if they just “formed their own community and stopped pretending to be lgbt” are incredibly disingenuous. the lgbt community is created to help support people who are ostracized based on their sexuality or gender identity. a-spec people comfortably fit into that category and exclusionists disagree because they dont think our problems are real. so if we formed out own community to advocate for ourselves aphobes would just continue to tell us our problems are imaginary bc lets face the real problem here is that they have no respect for us

[a-stoned-butch]

hot take: if you’re ace and cishet you’re not lgbt+. no offense, but you’re not oppressed for not wanting to have sex. you don’t get the oppression that actual lgbt+ people get. you don’t get called a sinner. you don’t get kicked out of your home, murdered, or fired from your job for being ace. you don’t have to “come out” to your family as ace. they probably don’t care if you’re not having sex.

[k-s-k-lively]

Something Bothering Me This Pride Month

The amount of Ace erasure.

As an Ace individual myself, it's still irritating that people keep trying to tell me I'm not part of the community, that I can't go to pride, and (here's the kicker of aphobia) that I can't be Ace and dress provocatively.

Look, we live how we want, we dress how we want, and not all of us Ace people are sex repulsed or have non-existent libidos. I will dress like a slut if I want, because anyone has the right to say no to hooking up with strangers, weather or not they wave an Ace flag.

Also at pride this year, I was told (not by a bouncer, not by anyone else who actually worked there) that I wasn't allowed to be in the Queer bar/club that my friends and I went to. Because I tied my Ace flag like a cape, these people felt it was okay to harass me in what was supposed to be a Queer space. And shout out to the workers who stood up for me, and the handful of club goers who came to hang with us, y'all were awesome.

As an Ace person, I want people to know, that we will not disappear if you tell us to, if you say we are faking it, if you try to force us into another box.

I am a genderfluid, panromantic, asexual human being. I exist, I'm not going away, and (since I'm well into my twenties) I am not going through a phase.

And I'm being shunned by both the LGBTQ+ community, and the rest of the world. This shouldn't be happening. For my baby Aces who are trying to figure out where you fall under the Ace Umbrella, we accept you, you have a place, and you are not broken.