#ask.dell

[guarddogbutch]

UM…. Um umm…I used to help my dad tag cattle when I was little… I can promise you a steady hand and I can be normal and very gentlemanly about it I think possibly maybe somehow

hey king! normal and gentlemanly are not the qualifications I am looking for on this job. get evil

[guarddogbutch]

advice on how to stop feeling insecure about being overweight (as a butch)? family/society has really done a number on my self esteem and i’m really trying to unlearn it and feel confident in my body

hey king you probably won't like this answer but truly all you can do is what you can do. I have an ego the size of the continental US but that was not always the case.

go to therapy, stop giving a shit, have hot deplorable dyke sex with people who make you feel hot, wear clothes that make you feel hot. worked 4 me

[guarddogbutch]

Hi guard dog~! 🥰 15, 19 and 27 please ♥️

15. whats a hidden talent of yours?

Kermit the frog voice + (hidden to y'all) I used to draw a lot. enjoy this slasher inspired one of me and my dog I did a few Halloweens ago

19. favorite videogame?

RDR2, BG3, or Farm Sim....

27. morning sex or evening sex?

there is nuance to this cuz they're different. I'm gonna be real y'all the second my eyes open in the morning I am a MENACE. literally never hornier in my life than I am when I wake up and I WILL make it anybody in my bed's problem.

but also, esp with the way the last like month has gone at work, all I wanna do is come home and fuck somebody mean and stupid. like full blown mutt mode. like I don't even care what you have going on for you right now I'm breeding stupid style. drooling, growling, biting, etc. so do w all that what you will

[guarddogbutch]

you're so funny and cute

thanks it's my boyish charm and my infectious laughter and whimsy

[guarddogbutch]

Regarding your farmers tan: GOD YES PLS FARMERS TANS ARE SO HOT

alright y'all LINE UP

[guarddogbutch]

fat and beefy butches make me happy 🤭✨ we need more of y’all here 💞✨

as self appointed supreme leader of the fat beefy butch association, thank you. you will be granted ally membership for one calendar year without dues.

[guarddogbutch]

ik you're big into viginity & loss thereof but how do you feel about someone who is'nt a virgin who has just had awful sex.... (forced service top who can make people feel good but no one has ever tried to pleasure ME like come on now)

listen idc if you're a virgin or you're ran thru or you've had the worst sex ever always. I'm so good at pretending. it's all pretend and none of it means anything anyway. but being the first to do anything [even if it's just fucking you good] is fun for me. come over?

[guarddogbutch]

I was by the river earlier and all I could think about was you making me take 4 fingers right there on the spot, spitting on me, and telling me how pathetic I am

- 🦈

no hand over your mouth so nobody would hear you making those pathetic little sounds? or was your face in the dirt? we need more information to write up the full report. for. uhhhh. research purposes.