( Hey guys I'm a young non-native beginner writer and I really wanna improve my writting by making works ab the game and character I love so please critique me and say what I did right! NO AI was used <3 and don't dare feed this to it.
Info: MC is nameless and genderless so you can insert yourself or your OC's, but MC does where a dress. )
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Tales and stories that seemed fairy tale like perpetuated online, painting a picture of the city — making it out to be a dangerous land. Even with the protection of the wings parisites could still latch on and destroy every feather. But most of that couldn't possible ever happen to a person like me — right? Keep your head down and behave and I'd most likely be fine, that usually only ever happened to the unlucky few, doing the math that'd be one percent of the cities population, a little baby number!
Chances were low but never truly zero.
Getting back from work I flopped down onto the mattress groaning, ugh my legs were absolutely done for from needing to walk up to the top floor, those steps — I don't think they'd ever be able to work normally again! I turned to my whilst wrestling my phone out of the dark blue work bag that had held so many fixer pins and charms that I practically jingled as I walked. I powered to phone on the bright lock screen contrasting the rest of the darkly lit room, a notification pop uped on the phone. I turned the brightness down focusing on the words — " Taste testing newest ice cream flavours in J Corp with moi!"
Nice! At least I had his shoulder to lay on after a stressing day of work — and! He was in my wing too. It'd be so nice to go and meet him, I'd do it right now if only the place wasn't like an hour away on foot. I mean — I could call a cab, no not possible money subtract by cab money equals no food, sigh he'd be gone far away once I got in there anyways. It'd be so nice to get a signature too to remember him by, maybe in another life just not this one. To get to talk to him oh how I longed for it, through the comments maybe still there was no guarantee without a shout-out. My finger hovered over the button it took every once of my remaining power to stop myself from eating salt water soup for dinner and sugar water for desert until my next paycheck.
Despite my momentary disappointment my sadness was quickly lifted away when the stream started. I was giggling and smiling at all the jokes he was making, I was ready to type in a comment until the video started buffering out of no where. I waited Cinq minutes — ha Cinq five, before I stated to get really annoyed.
I thought I payed my my wifi bill already? That's not right how can they just take it way so unfairly I already worked so hard! The dying lightbulb went out completely leaving my room wrapped in darkness, alright maybe it they didn't take it away randomly the power must've went out.
Well what can I do now, there's nothing for me to do besides go and take a walk, I did not feel like walking up and down the stairs again. Wow without Camille to keep me I thought I payed my my wifi bill already? That's not right how can they just take it way so unfairly I already worked so hard! The dying lightbulb went out completely leaving my room wrapped in darkness, alright maybe it they didn't take it away randomly the power must've went out. that whole workout I did before got me so sleepy. I yawned loudly as I went under my sheets for warmth. My vision darkened then instantly lightened like a video game skip scene — the only other source of light coming from the window turned a dark azure . Had I really slept that long — If so why did I not feel well rested at all?
In my half asleep state I walked up to the window to fully close the blinds, I leaned over and noticed that the stool of window was rough like rock. I fully opened my eyes to see the blinds handle but all that could be perceived is the ground bellow, the building grew approximately Cinq-ty floors taller matireals switched to stones and wood a tower-like structure, the bottom of the tower was lit a bright green flame.
I really just jinxed myself — didn't I?
There's no time to dwell on the thought or I would soon be consumed by the hungry fire. Adrenaline filled my body as I ran towards the door, it's still a possibility that I could continue living. I soon came to realization of what my clothes had turned into when I faceplanted to the door then ground from tripping on the hem of the dress that was on me. It was pink, poofy, similar to the designs of those princess picture books parents bought for their daughters children. Thankfully It didn't hurt that much from the large amount of pading.
My arms lifted my body up and I felt terror at the fact that I had nearly fallen to my death. If my fall landed a little further I'd slip right off. I pinned the hem up, decreasing the chances of mortal injuries. There was some pretty big close calls that happened due to this dramatic get up — I could survive I was carefully enough. Until I was striked immediately — the beastly thing akin to a dragons claws inflicting burns to what ever touched it Lucky it only hit fabric not skin.
This is it — I'll become a copy and pasted number, the unlucky few...
This is the last time that I'll be able to see this beautiful word and all it's disappointments. Is this what it feels like to pass away? My body was embraced by a deep blue — wait that wasn't the colour of the flame, wasn't it green before? Whatever it was I closed my eyes waiting for death.
" Wake up sleeping beauty — this isn't how the story supposed to go, the princess always get saved! "
I wasn't falling any longer? Who had saved me? I-I think I recognized that voice! My eyes unlocked and tried to focused on the white blue blur, who was the knight that scoop me up into their arms?
" Right chat? "
With that voice, the white hat and cloak, blue uniform, and that signature catchphrase! It can only mean one thing, one person...
"C-CAMILLE, CAMILLE THE STRONGEST MOST HONORABLE, MAGNIFIQUE FIXER OF THE CINQ ASSOCIATES?!?!"
He, Camille angled his selfie stick to get a good view of him carrying me and flashed a smiled before facing the stream. " Yes it is! It appears that even this gorgeous princess is a fan of moi!" His black glove placed his selfie stick in my hands as the soft feathers brushed against my cheek. By gaining one of his most precious tools in helping him stream I accepted the task of documenting this entire duel for all to see. Despite the puffy pink fabric adding kilos onto my weight he never failed to keep a steady grip, Camille continued to yap to the audience watching this play play out. " Looks and feels light as that ice cream we've just had don't you think? "
The protagonist us reached an impediment in the script. The hungry hellfire consumed more and more of the tower, I looked up to see what he'd do at this point — was I going to cut his life short? He still put on a brave face " Well this is certainly a big hurdle! I'm certain that this lovely royal and I shall overcome this challenge. My hands shook a bit making the footage blurry for a moment, in that second he looked to his gaze wavering — he mouhed the words " Don't worry " to me before swapping back to his happier plastered smile persona.
A white cape was gently dragged then flowed to the exposed parts of my body and his — " Hold on thight princess! " The ride started to get shaky as he pacend his running so that the flames would not slowly devour us. Miraculously unlike when that thing tried to hurt me the flames no longer burned — it was like a magical force field when we were together. As the cape covered my eyes it was impossible to see anything so I only relied on my other Cinq sensens, mostly the same crackling and popping sound but the sound of large gates closing quickened my already fast heartbeat. I loud swoosh blew the white blindfold off and too his back from sliding to our freedom.
His eyes darted around searching a safe place to hide me in whilst wiping away the beads of sweat off his forehead. " See chat! I told you this knight would have always saved the day! "
He placed me behind a conveniently placed boulder — from actor I returned to be the audience. His hands clasped over mine taking away his selfie stick, " Sit back and relax, you must've been tired from being woken too early in this fashion. " It wasn't really a good view but it was better than being a burden making him safe me constantly, reality was much better than whatching from a screen.
The dragons eyes bored into Camille realizing the knight did not have the princess anymore the conditions for safety were left unfulfilled. He drew out his rapier doing battle with the monster — I wondered how he was able to fight holding that stick let alone achieve good clips. There was no need to prolounge the ending, he used his ultimate finishing move 50 strikes right to the heart only in 1 second! The thing turned into an egg like formation as it was subdued by Camille himself.
He walked back closer to the safe haven giving me a goodbye salut " Au revoir princesse, may we meet again on better circumstances — don't forget to tune into my next shows! "
What had felt like a whole movie was just forty-cinq minutes including my momentary nap. The sky and my costume turned to ash revealing the true environment under the filming set.
" I think"
A montage of scenes played through my mind which created a finished product. Him catching me, carrying me bridle style, protecting me from the flames, and saving the day! What a perfect way to end it off, even if every nick name and reassurance was for the camera — I really did feel like a princess. Looking down to my knees I saw a plume from his uniform whit a messily scribbled signature on it — a memoir of him.
" I think I'm in love. "
Total: 1770 words
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( AHHHHH omg I'm finally done with this and I'm so happy with this! I had to take a break from writing my long angsty Callisto fanfic and thought of another character I liked! I just love Camille so much I hope this fic does justice for him and sorry if it's OOC. This was all written at school and my friend said the draft was good enough to post, this version could most likely still be improved on but I was just to exited to post. Hoped you enjoyed )
FINISHED! My 8th panel (of 40) in my Dante's Inferno series is finished. "Canto 7: The Avaricious and the Prodigal" oil on AlumaComp, 48 x 60" 2019 The Avaricious (greedy people) and Prodigal (reckless spenders) are punished together, divided up into two groups where they push large rocks with their bodies crying insults to each other. To see more of my series go to ericarmusik.com . . . #ericarmusik #paintedhumanemotion #dantesinferno #dantealighieri #canto7 #avaricious #prodigal #inferno #divinecomedy #dante #theinferno #contemporaryartist #contemporaryartists #contemporaryrealism #realismart #realistpainter #painter #painting #art #artistsoninstagram #artistsofinsta #artiststudio #artiststudios #artcollective #artcollector #artcollectors #classicalrealism #figurativeart #figurativeartist #figurativepainting #figurativepainter https://www.instagram.com/p/Bwo59iKhH_m/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1l8aqk3gxhpha
