A/N: Hey guys! I’m sorry about the lack of content recently, spring quarter’s been quite the doozy so far! I promise I’ve got a bunch of stuff in the works, you’ve just gotta give me a little time to finish it. But hey, here’s a piece with a character I’ve never written as a love interest before, so I hope you enjoy it!!
It had been months since I had left. Months since I had abandoned the only real family I’d ever had. Left behind the one person I had ever truly ever loved. But hey, it was all of the better right?
I had never felt like I really belonged there. I was only ever on the sidelines during missions, only joining in when things really got tough. I was only ever backup. I didn’t think they needed me, so I left.
It was quick. There are plenty of little secret passageways in the Avengers tower that only Stark knows about. The only reason he knows about them is because he put them there. When I found out about the secret passages, I immediately went to talk to Tony. He had told me all about them and even gave me a map for navigation. He was weirdly open with me about them. The night I left I was more thankful to him than I can ever express.
I left early in the morning. No one can really sleep very well in that tower. Everyone has something that keeps them up through the night until they can’t take it anymore and they pass out long enough to get the rest they need. I left when everyone was actually asleep, and no one knew I was gone until that evening.
I got a job at the local cinema working the night shift so I don’t have to leave my shitty apartment for fear of being seen in case the team is looking for me. Nobody really knows me or who I am. No one really expects more out of me than what I’ve shown them I’m capable of.
It’s about 4 am on Sunday and I’m walking home from the cinema after closing. It’s a short walk and I soon arrive at the stoop of my apartment building quickly ascend the stairs, stopping at my door to unlock it. Once inside I shrug off my jacket and hang my ball cap on the hook by the door before pulling my shoes off by the heels. I wander to the kitchen, stripping out of my work uniform, tossing my black polo and slacks onto the back of a chair, leaving me in a tight white tee and black compression shorts.
“Get out of my apartment, Clint.” I say sternly, retrieving a bottle of water from the fridge.
“I just found you and you want me to leave?” He asks, turning on the lamp next to the couch he sitting on.
“Yes,” I answer, unscrewing the cap of my water and flicking it towards his forehead. He catches it before it can make contact. “I left for a reason.”
“A reason you never bothered to give.” He growls, slowly rising from his seat. “I have been looking for you since you left. The team is worried sick. What could have ever possessed you to leave, (Y/N)?”
“Why should I tell you?” I snap. “There’s nothing you can say to make me come back. Just go home, Clint.”
“I’m not leaving without you.” He says, his tone growing steadily more angry. “Nat can’t walk past your room, Steve’s destroyed nearly 100 heavy bags since you left, Banner won’t come out of the lab, Stark seems way guiltier than he usually does and we’re all sleeping fewer hours than we did before you left.”
“You can’t pin all that on me.” I say, slamming my water down on the counter causing some to fly out the top. “It’s not my fault you didn’t realize what you had until you lost if.”
“What? Were you trying to teach us a lesson or something?” He advances on me, getting right up in my face, our noses almost touching. I refuse to be intimidated and I glare up at him, not moving an inch. “That’s messed up, (Y/N). You say it like we disregarded you.”
“Because you did, Clint.” I hiss. “How long did it take you to realize I was gone?” I shove him away from me and he stumbles back, his expression one of shock.
“W-what?” He stammers.
“How long until you realized I was gone?” I ask again, slightly more angry this time. “That I wasn’t coming back. How long, Clint.”
“I-I-”
“That’s what I thought.” I say quietly, walking to the door and opening it. “Just get out.”
“I saw you leave.” He says, his voice hushed.
“No one saw me leave, Clint. No one could have.” I run a shaky hand through my hair. “That’s why I went the way I did. So no one could see me.”
“I know about the passages, dumbass.” He says, his voice more rough. “I knew about them the day after I moved into the tower. Stark basically put them in so I wouldn’t hang out in the ventilation system. I saw you go into the one next to the elevator. The question is, how did you know about them?”
“I found them and went and asked Tony about it. He gave me a map of the system of passages.” I look at the floor, knowing that if I looked him in the eye he could convince me to go back with him.
“That’s why he’s felt so guilty lately…”
“I didn’t want any of this to happen…” I say quietly, tears suddenly springing to my eyes. I cover my eyes and slide down the wall, releasing my grip on the door handle.
“What exactly did you want to happen, (Y/N)?” He asks. I can tell he’s frustrated with me without having to look at him.
“I just wanted to slip away. I didn’t think anyone would notice. It’s not like I contributed anything to the team anyways.” I feel my breath quicken and my heart rate speed up.
“You honestly thought none of us would notice?” His voice softens, but only slightly. “How could you ever think you weren’t important to us? To me?”
“I’m backup, Clint. That’s all I’ve ever been. I was only there in case you were outnumbered. I never did anything.” I rub angrily at the unstoppable flow of water from my eyes. “I went on tons of missions and only got out of the quinjet twice. Two times in ten months. How would that make you feel?”
“I’m sorry, (Y/N), I had no idea. I’m sorry I didn’t do more, I-”
“There was nothing keeping me there, don’t worry about it.” I say, trying to slow my breathing. A panic attack is the last thing I need right now. “I couldn’t stay and take up space and resources that someone else needed more.”
“We need you to come home. I need you to come back.” He closes the door and slides down the wall next to me. He gently wraps his arm around my shoulders l, pulling me to his side. “I-”
“Don’t.” I say, my tone quiet but firm.
“Don’t what?” He asks.
“Don’t say things you think I want to hear just to make me go back.” I answer, turning my watery eyes to look up at him. My face is probably splotchy, and my eyes puffy and rimmed with red. I don’t care. “I can’t… ” I sigh shakily. “I can’t do this. You can stay till I leave for my next shift, but I’m going to bed.”
“(Y/N)…”
“I’m not going back, Clint.” I breathe, gently removing his arm from my shoulders and standing to go to my bedroom. “I can’t.”
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part 2
Thanks for reading! Feedback would be greatly appreciated!
Ps: I would totally be open to doing a part 2 if you want that.
