I really like that the gentler men movement has helped to solidify an idea that's been bouncing around in my head, but I worry about it's mass appeal. Traditional male gender roles have the benefit of having a cool(at least in imagination if not in practice) aesthetic. Being a gun toting Rambo, a suave ostentatious businessman, or a grizzled loner are all cool. I don't personally care much about being cool but a lot of men do. What's the cool aesthetics of the gentler-man?
Alright, so I don't think it's controversial to say that what is considered "cool" is high subjective, but let's suppose for a moment that we can set some things to look for that may play into "coolness."
For this conversation, I propose that "coolness" is a product of factors that people value and want more of in their lives, even if it's just seeing it in someone else. Specifically, these five factors:
This list is not based off anything scientific or official. It is literally just a list I made up during my walk home from work today. Having said that, I think there's some merit to the list. So let's break it down...
Think of this as anyone or anything that gets attention, praise, or other kind of notoriety. Note that it doesn't have to be POSITIVE attention to be cool. But the more recognition it gets, the more likely that SOMEONE will think it's cool.
Something new, surprising, original, or adds an unexpected twist to something familiar. Novelty makes the brain light up, and sometimes that leads to a cool factor.
Independence, self-sustaining, free of control from outside influence.
Makes a difference, changes their surroundings, leaves an impact
Familiar, reliable, predictable, stays within acceptable parameters
(I imagine that some of you are doubting me on that last one, but consider this: Riding on Splash Mountain may be cool, but actually falling over a waterfall isn't. Watching a competent tightrope walker is cool, watching an incompetent tightrope walker is traumatic.)
I would speculate that of all the things you, I, or other people consider cool, each of them will draw their coolness factor from one or more (usually a combination) of these factors.
Alright, I was going to expound on this idea and provide some aspects of Gentler Men that I personally consider to be "cool," that I think align with these five attributes. But honestly this post is already getting a little long and I need to spend time with my kids. So I'll come back to this later.
