crumbs of clarity
a/n: ngl this one's a little sad because i woke up in my feelings this morning lol, but i still hope you enjoy anyways. hopefully some of you can relate. (or don't, i don't wish this feeling on anybody).
wc: 189
Healing isn’t the one-way street I imagined. I understood why he did what he did,
What I did to cause it,
And how it all burned down right in front of me.
Isn’t that enough?
I suffered a whole year, and it still isn’t enough? I keep crying, wells of tears flow unwillingly from my eyes as my sole purpose of letting myself cry is you. You. It’s been almost two years, why do I still care? You clearly don’t.
My friends hang out with you like you’re innocent, and it's the old days when we’d all laugh like everything was carefree. It wasn’t, though. As you sat next to me at the best play I’ve ever seen, I could barely focus as one question plagued my mind. “Do you still even want to be my friend?”
You answered my question for me.
Now, I see the Instagram stories of you smiling and laughing and it makes me sick. Not in the grotesque, “go to hell” type of way.
It’s more of a heartache.
But why should I even care? You never did.
Healing: 2/10, wouldn’t recommend it.