Questionaire 01
Alright, give me a two or three word description of yourself. Just to get started. Well, I’m amazing, handsome, and talented. I think that sums me up perfectly.
Do you have any nicknames, street names, titles, nom de plume? Maybe something your partner calls you in bed, if you know what I mean? Danny was something my family called me when I was younger; as for a bed name, Sex God was very common.
What is your full birth name? Okay, boring, but I really need to know. Daniel Scott Kromer.
Why Camden? It’s crawling with leeches.
What is your most obvious strength? No need to lie here. Most obvious? Well, I’d say my personality, I guess. It gets me places and information.
What is your most obvious weakness? I can see a few, but tell me just one. Screw you. You don’t know me; so therefore, you can’t say I’m weak. Anyway, the fact that I care about people kinda screws me over half the time. Especially since my feelings seem to get in the way with my job, and frankly, it fucking sucks.
Was there any event or cause of these weaknesses, hm? Maybe a trauma? Daddy issues? 'Course not.
Do you have any scars, tattoos, or birthmarks? If so, how did you get them them? Are they located in a, hm, interesting place? Where, exactly? To help with my imagination and- I think you need to calm down. And yeah, I have plenty of scars. Most are from my fights with a vampire.
Alright, time go reach the past, then we can get back to the future. Get it? Well, where is your home town? Hometown would be Chicago, Illinois.
Considering you’re super old - and not nearly as preserved as me - did you witness any historical events? I’m not super old…? This question is completely idiotic. Kinda like you.
Briefly describe a defining moment in your childhood and how it influenced your life. There was this cousin of mine, Rick Kromer. He was always the last one to finish everything. The kid never ever had enough heart, and I could tell. I mean, you have to be dedicated; otherwise you’ll end up like Rick. A snapped neck on your first solo.
Do you have any deep, dark secrets in the past that may come back to haunt you? Maybe one that you’d like to… share? My lips are sealed. I…I let someone down, a long time ago, and…well, let’s just say I hope to never run into them again.
Are you who you claim to be? Are you Batman? Damn straight I’m Batman. ‘Nough said.
Just between the two of us, do you have any sort of criminal record? A criminal record? Well, I got cited the other day for destroying someone’s car. Kinda like a ‘road rage’ notation on my record. Otherwise, no; I’m a good boy.
Who were your parents? Were you raised by them? Maybe a nanny? A sexy nanny? Okay, moving on… Right…uh, my parents were Bryan and Lucy Kromer. I was raised partly by them and partly by my grandfather, Mark. My grandmother died a couple days before I was born of heart disease, which is weird since that shit is supposed to be hereditary, you know? I think it’s the fact that she wasn’t born a Kromer…anyway, off topic. But yeah. That’s who I was raised by.
How would your parents describe you? Answer this in the voice of your mother, then in your father’s. Father- “You lazy son of a bitch, it’s just a broken hand, pick up your stake and finish the drill.” Mother- “Did you know that honey never spoils? Stock up…”
Do you have any siblings? If yes, who are they? Nope.
Have you begun your own family? If not, do you ever want to have a family of your own someday? No, I haven’t “begun my own family”. If you ignore the one psycho girl I met in Boston that claimed I was the father of her child…Now that is a funny story.
What type of person would be your ideal mate? Mate? That’s a weird term to use. Uh…well, I haven’t really…I guess she’d have to be, well, understanding. I can’t just have anybody. Maybe it’s why I bounce around so much, you know?
Do you currently have a best friend whom you would protect with your reputation or your life? If so, who are they and what caused you to feel so close to them? What would have to happen for you to end this relationship? Well….yeah, I do. I haven’t exactly had a best friend in a damn long time. She’s…annoying, really. With her love of vampires and all. But I care about her, a lot, really. One of those people who don’t mind the banter, and can actually hold her own at times. Steph is just one of those people that weasel their way into your heart and never leave. She’s almost like the sister I’ve never had, you know? And I wouldn’t want to end it, ever. But…if anything were to happen to my cousin Daphne because she ordered it, I’d kill every vampire she wants me to stay away from. At least she’d knock out two Kromers with one stone.
Who do you despise and why? Jefferson. Because, fuck, I hate him. I just- every little thing he does. He breathing angers me.
Name seven things you hate in others. Laziness, bitchiness, greed, jealousy, compassion for the undead, lack of a taste for Oreos, and…Scotch haters.
What is the worst thing someone has done to you, hm? I got stabbed in the back once, literally and figuratively. Turned out my father’s source wasn’t exactly credible or reliable, and the minute I showed up to do what he wanted me to do, fucker came out of nowhere. I managed to kill him, but it landed me in the hospital for about two weeks. And believe me, those were the two longest weeks of my life.
Do you have any dreams or ambitions? I really want to see the Yankees play against Boston at Yankee stadium. I never got to go see that specific game.
When do you consider it okay to kill (under what circumstances) and when do you consider it wrong to kill (under what circumstances)? I consider it okay to kill if the thing you’re trying to kill is a vampire. I mean, why are you even asking this question? Hello. Kromer. Figured it would be pretty damn obvious. And I would never murder someone. Hell, as long as they’re not drinking someone’s blood, they’re free to do whatever the fuck they want.
Does you have a “Black-and-White” view of reality or can you see shades of grey? There are no “shades of grey”. It’s either one thing or another. Think, asshole.
Describe your worst nightmares (it’s okay, Arthur isn’t listening) The hell does Arthur have anything to do with this? And my worst nightmare would be losing my purpose in life.
How do you feel about magic, myth, and the supernatural? Vampires are unnatural. I don’t think people get that around here. They’re killers, all of them. There isn’t a vampire alive that has never killed someone or will never kill someone. They all will kill someone. As for that other shit you mentioned, uh, enjoy your storybooks.
Consider we ever go on a date, here are some things you should probably tell me:
Favorite pizza topping? Cheese. I fucking hate anything else on my pizza.
Hogwarts house? Is that the movie with the kid and the funky glasses? I guess the house with the snake. Because snakes are awesome.
Favorite number? The fuck does that have to do with anything? Jesus, I don’t know. 69.
Does size matter? Always does.
Who would you rather make out with: Satan or Death? Neither, because I don’t think they’re women.
If you could choose, what Deathly Hallow would they pick for themselves and why? (The Elder Wand, The Resurrection Stone, The Invisibility Cloak) The Invisibility Cloak would probably come in handy with what I do. It’d be easier for people to keep their nose outta my business, even though they’d be missing out on this gorgeous face of mine.
Would you rather shave God’s back or give Lucifer a foot massage? Neither, because that’s gross.
Would you agree to be the world’s most powerful person if it meant giving up all of your friends? Honestly? No, I wouldn’t. Loyalty is such a strong thing, you know? Besides, I’m strong enough. I don’t want people to be afraid of me.