This is so fantastic that I can't let it languish in PMs (and it will, with the author's permission, be used in our recruitment thread). Enjoy this IC mission plan by SoL member Davvi.
Set atop Squink's desk is a rather thick dossier; a neatly bound compilation of type-written pages, photograms, schematics and maps, detailing a prospective mission into Gnomeregan.
Mission Name:
Operation Broken Bottle!
Mission Date:
TBA!
Mission Location:
Gnomeregan City
Mission Leaders:
Ms. Academe Adjutant Squink Shadowquill!
Guard S.1.C. C.E. Davvi Rattleclank (me!)
Mission Team:
Three-to-eight volunteers, who meet the following criteria:
1. Are not presently, on assignment!
2. Are not afflicted, with claustrophobia, technophobia or hypochondria!
3. Are not pregnant!
4. Are not suffering from, any current or chronic injuries or illnesses which may worsen due to (safe and controlled!) exposure to the following:
a. Ambient Low-level Radiation!
b. Wide-Spectrum Electromagnetic Waves
c. Enemy Combatants (Leper Gnomes, Troggs, Mutants, Etc.)!
d. Food Items Past Expiration!
Mission Objectives:
1. Salvage one (1) of each of the following Nuka Brand bottling machines:
a. Nuka Brand Secret Formulae Percolator™!
b. Nuka Brand Multi-Gas “Carbonator”™!
c. Nuka Brand Bottler-and-Labeler™!
2. Recover any available manuals and documentation on the bottling process!
3. Recover any available Nuka Chemists’ formulae, recipes or prototypes!
Mission Briefing:
Fact number one: the Servitors of Lothar are an autonomous, Special Operations Group, as chartered by Alliance High Command. That means that, although the Servitors receive a stipend for general expenses, we must pay, much higher out-of-pocket costs, than other units that are directly subordinate to the Alliance Armed Forces! Fact number two: Nuka Brand soda pop, was the most famous and most delicious soft drink, ever produced by Gnomekind! Unfortunately for everyone, the Nuka Brand Bottleworks, was one of the many terrible casualties of the Crash of Gnomeregan, leaving many pop fans, EXTRA sad, after the awful disaster, that befell our city!
“But S.1.C. C.E. Davvi!” You might be asking, “What do these two facts have in common?” The answer is that today, regardless of flavor, any remaining bottles of Nuka Brand soda pop that are still fit for consumption, are selling for at least, four gold apiece! Wow! After doing some research and drinking some soda pop, Ms. Academe Adjutant Squink Shadowquill, and I, thought that if we could salvage the bottling machinery and recover the super-secret Nuka Chemists’ formulae, we could begin bottling our own soft drinks, and, selling them to help pay for the Servitors’ expenditures!
We have, already petitioned the New Tinkertown Council, on behalf of the Servitors of Lothar, for salvage rights to the Nuka Brand Bottleworks, and, have been granted the rights, to all physical and intellectual properties found therein! Current, up to date and annotated schematics and maps of Gnomeregan City have been obtained, and, Ms. Academe Adjutant Squink Shadowquill, will also be furnishing, the radsuits, necessary to safely enter the hot zone! Additionally! The following equipment has also been procured:
1. Six (6) cargo striders with hypertraction pedi-treads!
2. Six (6) sets of cargo nets with attendant straps and cables!
3. Two (2) power winches with attendant straps and cables!
4. Two (2) hydraulic lifters!
5. One (1) medium-machinery roll-plate!
The current plan (which is always subject to updates and revisions!), is to enter Gnomeregan through the Gizmonic Gates, and, proceed through S.A.F.E.’s cleanzone on Entry-Level-D Gnomerail Tram Depot, till we reach the Level-D Sector-1 maintenance access-way to the Central Vent Line. From here, with Ms. Academe Adjutant Squink Shadowquill’s guidance, and the use of our City schematics, we will descend to Level-I, and follow the Central Vent Line to Sector-18, where the Nuka Brand Bottleworks are located. Once there, we will assess the state of the Bottleworks, and, if the building is secure.
Once we locate the bottling machinery, any engineers present, will determine if it will be possible to achieve the mission’s first objective, and, how much time it will take to do so! If the nature of the machine-mounts is such that the first objective cannot be completed safely, and within safe-exposure times, we will proceed directly on to the second and third objectives, making sure, to stay together, and, not get separated.
Once our objectives are accomplished, or, it is decided, that the mission must be ended prematurely, we will return, through the Central Vent Line, or if more practical, through the Gnomerail Tram Burnt-Sienna Line, to the Gnomerail Tram Depot cleanzone on Entry-Level-D, for a complete round of decontamination, medical examination and psychological counseling, before surfacing and retruning to the Keep, for debriefing, and congratulations, all around!
