#dn asks

[waxalas]

Why do you love Beyond? Do you find him relatable? If yes, in what aspects?

Beyond is like... a personification of identity issues and that resonates with me.

I'm intrigued by this idea of getting lost in who you are, whether you're really you or just a mirror of someone else. Whether anyone is ever really anyone, or if we're all just reflections of each other. What we see and what we don't see. What we can recognize and what we can't.

It's also really interesting to me when thinking about L, and why/how did he let that happen. People like to say Beyond is the evil version of L, but I think his existence makes L's darker, actually. Yet another game with the mirrors...

I was struck reading LABB that B chose victims who were already about to die. I found this detail humanizing, or at least giving him depth, and it made me want to explore his humanity, try to understand him.

I'm also just a sucker for tragic characters lmfao. It's so sad, how he felt this need to play a game by himself... Left behind by both A and L, all he has is himself, but he's been taught that's not enough, that he failed because he couldn't let go of himself to stand in as someone else.

So yeah. I find it interesting to think about how these things can warp in his head. What does he really think about all of this, how self aware is he of his own thought process, where does the insanity begin and how deep does it run?

There's also the differences with Light, BeyondLaw vs LawLight, but this is already getting long haha.

(part 2)

[waxalas]

"There's also the differences with Light, BeyondLaw vs LawLight..." yap about it unc i f you want to

Okay so I know I'm obsessed with identity issues but it's my angle so just humor me. I think with Beyond it's quite obvious (W&S is kind of my thesis on this), but I think Light has them too. I wrote about it here.

Beyond projects his identity issues onto L, but Light projects them onto Kira, L's rival. So from L's perspective, I think Light is a lot more intriguing. It actually leaves room for L to play against someone else. I think Light is flattering to L in a way Beyond can only pretend to be, and I think L can build something with Light when he can only really tear Beyond down.

I know people say Light is fake af etc, but I don't really see him that way all that much. I think Light is pretty strong tbh, and Beyond is the one who's fabricated. I just love thinking of Beyond as a predecessor for Kira. It's so tragic, like if he fixated on becoming L when really... he was just L's trial run all this time...

I'm probably just drawn to dysfunctional BeyondLaw and then healthy LawLight lmao. From L's POV, it's hurt/comfort. BeyondLaw is the hurt and LawLight is the comfort.

I think it's writing Mind Haze that kinda put this idea in my head, and I really need to think about it further before spewing more nonsense, but I intend to write a BeyondLaw prequel to explore this. How they had something strong, too, but ultimately unstable. BeyondLaw fails the soulmate test but LawLight passes.

Anyway. Obviously I'm not tied to this, I like thinking about different scenarios, but I think this is what I tend to gravitate towards, especially when the three of them are involved. It's what I did in WHN and Mind Haze, and it's what I plan to do in my grief AU... But I will give BeyondLaw a happy ending one day, I promise! Possibly starting with this AU (which was really about me wanting to write a strong friendship teehee).

(part 1)

[waxalas]

tell me what your first thoughts about death note were (i remember u mentioned reading it in 2012 for the first time, or something)

"oh wow, these two guys are the same, i know i'm supposed to be team L but fuck that shit, team Light all the way"

[waxalas]

Would you team up with Beyond in another note if you could, or would you go against him to catch his ass and put him in your closet forever? Or whatever you want. Secret options are allowed

Well. I would go against him because that's just more fun, and once he forgot all about L and just paid attention to me, then I would let him catch my ass and then we could hold hands forever :)

[waxalas]

Why do you constantly paint yourself as somebody who would happily be Kira, even with the consequences Light and the other Kiras faced?

Hmm. I'm not sure I do that. I recall saying something about self-inflicted misery? I'm trying to be realistic when it comes to whether I could turn down knowledge of the DN, but I do not think it would make me happy.

[waxalas]

What would you do if you found the notebook instead of Light? How would you use it (if you even would)? In this case and scenario, you hadn't watched death note before picking it up and had no knowledge of what happened there

CHAOS

[waxalas]

Why does death note interest you? Which arc did you most like?

It reps my eternal boredom, loneliness, and difficulty connecting with people.

I'm not all that interested in the successor arc, LawLight is where it's at for me. Sorry.

[waxalas]

now. flipping the tables If you had the notebook, would you give it up and forget the memories when Ryuk told you it's an option?

absolutely not. i am 100% taking the red pill, and then i will proceed to self-doubt into insanity while being painfully aware that my misery is self-inflicted.