Jessica Ford stirs from her slumber, the smell of eggs and chorizo pulling her away from her dreams. She gently rubs her eyes as she yawns. She reaches for the other side of her queen sized bed. It’s empty.
She shuffles out of bed, putting on her fox slippers before trudging upstairs to the kitchen. Her eyes are still mostly shut as she slides onto a barstool at the breakfast nook. She rests her chin in her hands.
“Morning,” Caitlin says cheerfully from the stove.
Jess cracks her left eye open, grinning tiredly. “Hey, did Chris leave already?”
“Yea, the coaches wanted him to come in early to do drills with some of the vets that are still in town,” Caitlin explains.
The sound of Caitlin grating a spatula against the pan is oddly soothing.
Jess hums contentedly. “That’s good right?”
“I don’t want to jinx anything, but...I think so,” she says. “Do you want toast on the side or should I make it a sandwich?”
“Sandwich.” Jess groans as she stretches in her seat. “I don’t think I can wait for toast. I’m famished.”
Caitlin chuckles. Not a minute later, she places breakfast in front of Jess, kissing her firmly on the temple. Jess turns her head so they can properly kiss each other. She thinks this is her favorite part of Caitlin and Chris visiting, getting quiet moments with her girlfriend. As much as she loves her metamours, all three, it’s nice to have some time for just the two of them.
They eat quietly together. Caitlin murmurs some things here and there about her family and looking into grad schools.
“You’re looking into DU right?” Jess asks.
Caitlin nods. “And CU. The commute isn’t ideal, but I’d be close enough.”
“Dex could get a job in Boulder,” Jess says. “Google is always hiring.”
She chuckles in response. “So we just have to convince Nursey to move here.”
“Colorado isn’t a sea of white people anymore. Plus, microbreweries and legalized pot.”
Caitlin snorts into a sip of coffee. “Is everyone from here die hard about living here?”
Jess shakes her head. “No, but most are.”
“Good,” Caitlin says, leaning across the table to squeeze her hand. “I’m excited.”
_/.\_
“Where to today?” Caitlin asks Jess once they’re in the car.
Jess’ car is an old forest green Subaru Outback that she inherited from her mom. She peels out of the driveway, heading toward the road that leads to the I-25 exit.
“The continental divide,” she answers simply.
Caitlin balks. “Seriously? That’s amazing.”
“I wouldn’t be a good girlfriend if I couldn’t show you the world.”
“You’re a sap, and I love you.”
“Uh huh,” Jess says with smirk. “Don’t pretend you didn’t get the reference.”
“I feel very honored that you referenced my favorite Disney movie,” Caitlin says proudly.
Jess laughs quietly, and Caitlin has to stop herself from reaching over the console to kiss her.
She’s passionate, intelligent, and hilarious. Jess is a gust of summer wind, kissing everything the light touches with her effervescent joy. She’s fearless in the way that she approaches every problem honestly. She’s selfless in her love, including in how she loves herself.
Caitlin falls a little more in love with her every day. She thinks they make a good team, supporting each other from bleachers of games or even just in lingering touches before class. It’s nice being able to sleep in Jess’s bed for a change. Normally they end up in Caitlin’s room of the volleyball house or Chris’ bed when he, Dex, and Nursey have their time. It feels nice to occupy a space that’s predominantly for them.
It takes them a half an hour to drive to the foothills. An alt rock station Jess loves starts to lose signal as they take a tunnel further into the mountains.
“CDs are in here,” Jess pats the center console. “Pick an album.”
“Retro much?” Caitlin chirps.
Jess shrugs. “It isn’t a trip to the mountains if you’re not listening to something classic.”
“Classic how?”
“See for yourself.”
Caitlin rolls her eyes, complying as she rifles through Jess’ CD collection. It’s a lot of 90s singer-songwriters and 70s music. But there’s an Of Monsters and Men album that proves her music isn’t completely dated.
“The XX,” Caitlin hums, impressed.
“I don’t buy CD’s unless I know I can stand to listen to it at least twelve times.”
“Why twelve?”
“Long car rides when I’m too lazy to change out the disc,” Jess says as she rolls her window down, letting her arm rest against the car door.
“Well, that’s why you have me,” Caitlin assures her jokingly, “to save your ears from five hours of Natalie Merchant.”
Jess laughs. “As long as we’re not chirping Macy Gray.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she says as she crosses her heart.
Jess squints, playfully glaring at her. “You did that on purpose.”
Caitlin dissolves into laughter. “Swear I didn’t.”
They settle on Sheryl Crow, but a few songs in Jess asks to change it to Indigo Girls.
“You know we don’t have to be this queer right?” Caitlin chirps.
“Indigo Girls are a staple of mountain life,” Jess retorts. “Just like Subarus.”
“Weren’t they marketed to lesbians in the 90s?”
Jess gapes. “Living in the mountains is really queer ok?”
“Mountain culture is queer culture?” Caitlin offers.
“Sporadic weather patterns that leave you two feet of snow one day, sixty degree weather the next is queer culture.”
“Living a mile above sea level and regularly driving through blizzard conditions is queer culture,” Caitlin adds. “Having a mountain bike that’s more expensive than your car is queer culture. And shopping at farmers’ markets more than malls is definitely queer culture.”
“Exactly,” Jess says. She beams at Caitlin. “You’re getting the hang of this.”
This time, Caitlin does lean over to kiss her on the cheek, because there’s nothing more beautiful than Jessica Ford when she smiles. Jess is more vibrant and warm than the sun itself. Her hair is softer than clouds and her nose is the most kissable thing Caitlin’s ever seen. She loves how Jess scrunches it when she’s deep in completion.
Caitlin rolls her window down. She lets her hand graze the rushing wind. It’s so much brighter out West. She can’t tell if it’s because there’s more sunny days than overcast out here, or if it’s just the proximity to California that makes everything feel better. She isn’t sure she cares to find out. The sun’s rays are marigold and amber. The air is crisp blue, lighter than a baby’s eyes.
Rows of pine trees chase after them. Jagged mountainsides are tied down by thick nets. Jess explains it’s to prevent rockslides. Clouds lazily roll by overhead. The bass of Jess’ stereo system thrums to the same pace. Caitlin wonders if everything here is just synched to the same all-encompassing rhythm.
“All your life you've never seen a woman taken by the wind,” Caitlin sings quietly.
“Would you stay if she promised to you heaven?” Jess harmonizes perfectly to Stevie Nicks.
“Will you ever win?” They sing together.
Caitlin smiles.
Jess notices. “What?”
“I just really love you,” she says. “You’re amazing.”
Jess blushes. “I love you too.”
_/.\_
They take a harder trail up to the Continental Divide. Caitlin has to stop at a few points to get used to the change in altitude. But overall they keep a good pace. Jess is happy she got to break out her hiking boots again. It feels like she spends most of the school year stuck indoors. Boston’s winters are long and consistent.
Jess didn’t think she’d miss living in Colorado until she moved away for two years. She definitely doesn’t miss hanging around the same people she’s known since pre-school. She’s still eternally glad she didn’t go instate for school. But at the same time, she has new people. She has friends, a girlfriend, and three awesome (if not ruckus) metamours. She could see herself moving back here if it meant being with them.
They stop at a lake for lunch. Enjoy the sun and scenery as other hikers trickle through. Caitlin kisses some mustard off the corner of her mouth. Jess retaliates by putting some peanut butter on Caitlin’s nose.
“Need more sunblock?” Caitlin asks as she dumps lemonade powder into her water pouch.
“Yes please,” Jess groans as she hunches over.
Caitlin rubs sunblock on the back of her neck and down her shoulders.
“You know that feeling where it’s not like the sun’s actually burning you, but it’s so hot that you feel like you’re on fire?” Jess describes.
“Yeah,” she says sympathetically. “That’s why I hate beach volleyball.”
“I thought it was because you’re controlling,” Jess chirps.
Caitlin glares slightly. “It’s hot and hard to move around, and you have to trust one other person with your life.”
“You poor thing,” Jess says. She cranes her neck back to kiss Caitlin at a better angle. “You’re good at everything, you know that?”
“Not true,” Caitlin argues. “You’re better at rock climbing, photography, being on time—”
“—Driving”
Caitlin huffs, trying to suppress a smirk. “Exactly.”
Jess kisses her again, enjoying the lingering taste of blueberry jelly. “We make a good team.”
She laughs. “Yeah we do.”
They spend another twenty minutes or so watching the Earth slowly turn underneath them. Jess almost falls asleep on Caitlin’s shoulder. She thinks there’s nothing better than having good people to fall back on at the end of the day.
Introducing for the first time ever: FoxFarmer (another offshoot of polyfarms)
warnings: canon-typical alcohol use, mentions of food
Also on AO3
Jessica’s first season with SMH comes and goes with the first of week of Spring. It’s earlier than the last few years, they tell her. Which seems to put most of the team in low spirits. Justin and Larissa make plans to celebrate their birthdays with a big party.
But before that, the team has an entire week to just laze about, letting the beginning of an end wash over them like fresh waves of sunshine. She’s hung out with the sophomores, Frogs, and Tony and Conner, or Tadpoles apparently.
She’s a tadpole, they tell her. They don’t say it like her roommate’s boyfriend gets called a pledge. It’s not an insult, or a reminder that she has to fight to gain her place. This is her place. She belongs here. They tell her so every chance they get.
It’s in the little things like “hey Jess, I saw this and thought of you” or “yo’ Foxtrot, check this out.” It’s in the way Derek and Justin meet her subtle glare when no one else knows who Dawnn Lewis is. It’s in the way Connor lets her vent, Chris says hi with a smile and a new vinyl to listen to, and Tony always gives her a reason to laugh. It’s in the way Dex drives her to the good hardware store in the suburbs, and physically pushes away assholes when they crowd around the power tools that they argue she knows “nothing” about.
Derek brings up the idea of having a camp out in the backyard. He chirps Dex about serenading him with some air guitar. Dex’s ears get bright red.
“I have a guitar,” Dex grumbles.
Derek stops snickering. “No way. Are you good?”
Dex snorts, cocking an eyebrow. “I hope. My band in high school played a lot of gigs.”
“I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me or not,” Derek says.
Dex shrugs, leaves, and comes back twenty minutes later with an acoustic guitar and Caitlin Farmer humming along beside him. Caitlin is Chris’s girlfriend. She lives in the women’s volleyball house a block down. She’s got half a foot on Jess, she’s almost always in a Samwell hoodie, and her smirk is beautiful and confident enough to make anyone blush.
Her Spanish is crude and sloppy, but also lively–like a salmon swimming upstream. Caitlin runs past the house almost every morning as the hockey team is walking home from practice. Jess is thankful that cold weather has allotted her the ability to hide her stunned expressions behind big winter scarves. She’s horrible at starting, and continuing, conversations with Caitlin.
Somehow, the Frogs and Tadpoles successfully start a controlled fire in the backyard. The guys manage to carry the couch out back.
“Don’t get it too close to the fire,” Connor says. “You wouldn’t want to make Bitty happy and actually destroy this thing.”
“This couch doesn’t go until I graduate,” Chris says firmly.
Jess chuckles quietly to herself. Caitlin nudges her, waving Jess to sit next to her. Their knees knock together. Jess feels her face heat up. She tries to scoot away slightly, despite the fact that the couch is absolutely packed.
“Hey, no worries,” Caitlin says. “Unless you want more space. Dex can sit on the ground.”
Dex grumbles before doing it anyway.
“No that’s fine,” Jess insists. “You don’t have to.”
Dex shrugs, his frown softening when he looks up at her.
“Taking requests,” Dex says.
“No dad rock,” Chris says.
“Says the guy who incessantly plays Black Sabbath,” Dex chirps.
Tony eyes him warily. “What genre do you normally play?”
“Alt rock and indie rock,” Dex says.
“What’s the difference?” Tony asks.
Dex gapes at him. “You’re joking, right?”
“Wow, Dex, I didn’t know you were a music snob,” Jess says with the straightest face.
Derek and Caitlin laugh. Connor offers her a fist bump.
Dex rolls his eyes. “Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.”
Derek chokes on his can of Natty light. “Marry me,” he says.
Jess doesn’t miss the pleased smile Dex’s face. Although she thinks Derek might have. Dex does know a lot of grungey covers of older songs. But he also plays some songs from groups he discovered on Bandcamp. After a few drinks, he, Chris, and Derek get into something like a jam session. They put together the most impromptu experimental rap performance she’s ever seen.
It almost sounds harmonious.
They try for smores. But no one knows where Bitty hides his good chocolate, and no one feels like going to Murder Stop N Shop tonight. So they make do with graham crackers and marshmallows. Caitlin apparently likes hers burnt.
“I only eat things as dark as my soul,” she explains with a wink.
Jess swears she sees Chris swoon.
She doesn’t know if it’s the shitty beer or the fact that she’s never really been in one place with Caitlin for this long, but Jess feels herself loosening up. They make a lot of jokes at the guys’ expense. They talk about New England is nothing like living out West.
“Do you miss the mountains?” Caitlin asks her at one point.
Jess nods through another sip of beer. “All the time. It’s so fun to drive in through the foothills. Every road feels like it’s own roller-coaster.”
She sighs. “I miss being able to wear sweaters one day, summer gear the next.”
Caitlin nods. “Me too, weather doesn’t change as much in California. But, it still beats winters around here.”
Jess hums quietly in agreement. The energy from earlier is dying down. Connor and Tony are making out behind the couch. Chris and Derek are falling asleep on Dex’s shoulders as he keeps playing songs she can only vaguely recognize.
It must be a quiet evening in Boston, because Jess can see more stars than normal. It’s getting colder out, and she only has a thin periwinkle cardigan on to keep her warm. Larissa’s letting her sleepover this week. But who knows when she’ll be back from the bars.
She feels an arm wrap around her shoulder. Her gaze flickers to Caitlin who looks sort of guilty, but also hopeful.
“Is this alright?” Caitlin whispers.
Jess nods, scooting a little closer. And because she’s feeling really brave, she rests her head against Caitlin’s shoulder. When Caitlin settles back against the couch more, making them both more comfortable, Jess lets out a sigh of relief.
She wants to say something, to be a little more brave, and courageous. It’s one thing to have three hockey players explain that they’re dating each other…and that one of them has a girlfriend. It’s another to be interested in someone who could want her too.
The concept knocks the wind out of her lungs a little bit.
Whenever she thinks of Caitlin, her mind flickers to thoughts of waves lapping up against a sandy shore, of columbines dancing in the wind, of arepas she didn’t know she missed. She thinks a lot about those corny lens flare filters and why sunlight always seems to catch the outline of Caitlin’s cheek.
This isn’t the first time she’s felt this way about a girl. But she thinks this is certainly the first time she can do anything about it.
Jess swallows a little bit of courage–real courage.
“Hey Cait?” she murmurs.
Caitlin hums, taking her head away from its comfortable spot on top of Jess’. “What’s up?”
Jess ducks her head a little, biting her lip. She steadies herself, eyes meeting Caitlin’s. Caitlin has all this warmth and encouragement swimming in her eyes. Jess has never been more excited to potentially make a fool of herself before.
“Can I kiss you?” Jess asks.
Caitlin leans in slowly, hair falling to the side of her face. Her lips are an inch away from Jess’.
“Yes please,” Caitlin whispers. “I’d really like that.”
Their lips get a little stuck from Caitlin’s lipgloss at first. But then they find a rhythm, and it’s really good. Their tongues are slipping in and out of each other’s mouths as their bodies get closer. It’s a little awkward but fun. It makes the beating of Jess’ heart race a little faster.
Hands wander; kisses deepen.
She ends up lying on the couch, her hair mussed and definitely in need of some love. Caitlin’s hovering over her. It’s dark out, but she can still make out the vibrant red tinge of Caitlin’s face.
“How was that?” Caitlin asks.
“Amazing,” Jess admits.
Caitlin giggles. The sound feels like coffee in the morning.
“I’m glad,” Caitlin says. She bites her lip. “Hey Jess?”
“Yea?”
“Could I take you out sometime? Like a date,” she clarifies.
Jess has to cover her mouth to hold back an excited yelp. She nods, before swallowing thickly.
Purple U.F.O. from the Fox Solo pepper patch! First year really taking a stab at growing my own peppers! #foxfarmer #spicewizard #purple #ufo #chilihead #chili #greenthumb #nature (at Honeoye Falls, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/ChGHWVaunce/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
