todays an independence day. and im thinking about how lonely it is for people like me who are cult survivors, having lost all family bonds and relatives. a perpetual drifter in a world that doesn’t make sense no matter how much you would want it to. having been raised separate from it, raised for a reality that is only in the head until after death. even the idea and belief that “no, you won’t even get to die because the world is gonna end in our time and we will be the sole survivors”, I have no proper concept of death, limitedness, dying.
that leads to the disrespect of sorts in my birth cult for those passed away, there is no remembrance visits to graves, no lit candles since it’s death worship and demonolatry, evil, and spirit worship because the cult believes dead don’t leave souls behind and aren’t capable of awareness. and even if that’s true, does it really negate your pain and relieving it by going to their last resting place to remember and think freely about them. i only this year was able to go to the local cemetery on fathers and mothers days, to light candles to my passed away grandparents -- and even left offerings.. feathers to my grandmothers on mother’s day and beer for my grandfathers on father’s day.
it sprung to my mind, because I didn’t know if it’s a custom to go light candles on cemeteries on our independence day.. -j
