"The Not-So-Haunted Factory" - Written for Arachnida (@blood-brainbarrier) for HWD Secret Spectres @hwdevents
Human AU, Highschool AU, platonic RusAme
Major shout-out to @littlekroshkakartoshka for beta-reading and for letting me use her Yugoslavian headcanons!
[Mood music: Code Lyoko - Kadic Mornings]
It is a blustery fall day. Alfred walks out of the school as the final bell of the day rings. Once out of the way, he pulls out his phone and begins texting someone...
-- heroicBurgers began pestering vodkaMagician --
[heroicBurgers] hey
[heroicBurgers] hey dude
[heroicBurgers] got any plans for this weekend?
[vodkaMagician] Нет, Фредка.
[heroicBurgers] ...dude, i told you i can't read vodka runes
[vodkaMagician] I said nyet. I do not have plan, Fredka.
[heroicBurgers] well then now you've got one
[heroicBurgers] i heard a group of kids talking about exploring that old factory this weekend
[heroicBurgers] you know, the car factory they say is haunted?
[vodkaMagician] Da... Your point is?
[heroicBurgers] my point is, let's go prank some freshman, dude!
[heroicBurgers] we'll make them think it really is haunted!
[vodkaMagician] ...
[vodkaMagician] Fine.
[vodkaMagician] Why you are like to prank freshman, I do not understand, but I will come with you.
[heroicBurgers] it's gonna be fun, ivan, get in the spirit already!
[heroicBurgers] see you there!
-- heroicBurgers ceased pestering vodkaMagician --
With that sorted, Alfred walks off to gather supplies and intel for the prank. This is gonna be great!
[Mood music: Code Lyoko - Sneaking Around]
That Saturday, Ivan makes his way to the supposedly-haunted factory, once again questioning the reasoning of his American-born friend. He arrives, carrying the few requested items: a gallon of glow-in-the-dark slime, an old construction worker's outfit, a spool of twine, and a crowbar.
"Dude, finally! I've been here for hours working on this already!" Alfred's voice can be heard from behind a pillar. Ivan walks over, discovering a rather elaborate device already being built. "Did you get the slime and outfit?"
"Da, I did, though I do not know why. Nor why you did not buy slime yourself, since you are living closer to craft store than me..." Ivan mutters as he hands the stuff over. "What is device?"
"You know those 'audio animatronic' things Disneyland's got? Same concept, but mobile. We're gonna have a 'ghost' ride up to the group, dripping ectoplasm, and scare the pants off them!" Alfred grins, beginning to put the clothes on the dummy. It appears to be one of those poseable store mannequins, attached to a large RC car, with pulleys on various joints.
Ivan mutters to himself in Russian, making Alfred pause. "Fredka, that is not how you scare person. This is how you scare person." He pulls out of his jacket, a piece of rusty-looking lead pipe, with what appears to be a hell of a lot of blood on it. Alfred turns white as a ghost. "...Relax, is fake blood! I scare you muchly, da?"
"N-Not f-funny, dude, we're supposed to be on the same side here." Alfred finishes 'clothing' the device, and picks up an RC controller. "Besides, we can't let them see us, or they'll recognize us immediately and the prank is ruined. What else you got?"
"Hmm... Maybe if they are see us, is problem. But... what if they are only hear us?" The Russian exchange student unpockets a pair of walkie talkies and a few small speakers. "Is from electronics store. Voice changer and different channel select, can hide speaker in different place and make spooky sound."
Alfred's face lights up. "Now you're thinking what I'm thinking! I was gonna buy something like that, but the store was out. High five!" He holds up his hand. Ivan slaps it hard enough to make Alfred wince in pain. "G... good arm you got there... let's try and find places for these... then I got some other stuff..."
The dynamic duo proceed to spend the next few hours setting up various spooks, traps, and jumpscares throughout the facility. The whole time, there is a bit of an evil look in Ivan's eyes, as though it's more than a prank to him. Alfred tries to look away, but he swears he saw Ivan's eyes flicker with a purple aura once or twice...
[Mood music: Wallace and Gromit in Project Zoo - Warehouse (Exploration)]
"This is gonna be great, guys! We're totally gonna debunk a legend, bre!" The Serbian girl walks into the factory, leading her three companions inside.
"...Eh? Is this why you dragged us out here at midnight, Brenka?" Looking around, the Croatian boy rolls his eyes, while the young Bosnian hides behind the Montenegrin. "Calm down, Izet, there's nothing to be afraid of here 'cept Brenka's imagination. And stop hiding behind Jevrem."
"D-Do you m-mean the f-factory o-owner who d-d-died here?" Izet says from his hiding place.
Jevrem yawns. "Can we go back yet? I got sleep to catch up on and a paper to not do."
Brenka stops in the middle of the entry hall. "That 'paper' is why we're here, actually! We have to write about local legends, and I thought why not debunk one of the most popular, the Lithuanian car factory owner that got--" She pauses, staring at the trembling Izet. "Why did you come along, anyway?"
"I-I was d-dragged here..."
"Oh no you weren't, get over it already," retorts the Croat.
"Yeah Izet, get over it and help me look for clues!" Brenka rolls her eyes.
"W-who put y-you in c-charge?" Izet still won't come out from behind Jevrem.
"That's very easy, bre! You see..."
Meanwhile, Alfred listens to all of this over a hidden microphone. "Heh heh... They're so distracted, it's the perfect time to scare them! Ready, dude?"
Ivan grumbles, wearing a ratty factory-worker outfit. "I still do not like idea, Fredka."
"The worker-bot can't go up stairs, I need a real man out there to chase them! Now hurry up and get into position down there..." Alfred looks to the factory intercom system, wired into the voice-changer Ivan brought.
[Mood music: Code Lyoko - Emergency]
"And that is why Srbija is best nation. Any questions?" Brenka beams, having just finished a fifteen-minute 'lecture' on why her home country is the best.
"WHO DISTURBS MY SLUMBER?!" A voice booms out, filling the room.
Izet practically jumps out of his skin, Jevrem's eyes snap open from their half-closed state, Andrej rolls his eyes, and Brenka grins. "Hah! I knew someone was gonna set us up, bre! Show yourself!"
"IT HAS BEEN YEARS SINCE NEW WORKERS HAVE SHOWN UP..." The creepy voice echoes throughout the facility. "YOU FOUR SHALL DO NICELY."
"You wanna fight this?" Andrej puts up his fists. "I'll knock you into the post-afterlife, chump!"
A pair of 'factory workers' shamble into the room, one wielding a rusty pipe. Izet runs off before anyone else can stop him, Jevrem in pursuit shortly after.
"It's fake, guys! Come on, stop being chickens, bre!" Brenka calls after the others, before turning and noticing the one worker walking up to her, pipe raised over his head.
"...Escape first, debunk later, Srbija!"
"I told you not to call me th--" Brenka objects before Andrej grabs her hand and starts running.
Alfred taps the mute button on the intercom, doubled over with laughter. "This is going better than I thought!" Watching the two pairs of kids run away on the monitors, he pulls out his walkie-talkie and radios Ivan.
"Dude, keep following the talkative Serbian and the other guy. I got the sleepwalker and the scaredy-cat." He picks up the RC controller as he resumes piloting the robot. "Best. Halloween. Ever."
[Mood music: Wallace and Gromit in Project Zoo - Diamond-O-Matic (Fight)]
Izet runs through the halls of the factory, Jevrem in pursuit. Shortly behind the two, the robo-worker swings a shovel.
"N-not d-dying t-today, n-not d-dying t-today..." Izet mutters to himself as he continues to flee.
"C-come on, Izet, I can't keep up with you like this!" Jevrem wheezes as he struggles to keep up with the fleet-footed Bosnian...
"In here!" Andrej drags Brenka into a side room, slamming the door behind her.
"What the hell, Andrej! It's just a guy in a costume, it's gotta be!" She manages to wheeze out, trying to catch her breath.
"Fake or not, whatever it is wants to kill us..."
The man shambles up, pipe in hand... but is stopped as Andrej slams the door in his face, sending him reeling!
"..." Brenka is stunned at what she just witnessed, before Andrej continues pulling her along.
"We have to keep moving... Where's the others?"
Jevrem finally manages to catch up to Izet, as the two reach a stairwell. Shortly behind, the robo-worker approaches.
"C-come on... T-there has to b-be a w-way out!" Izet stutters.
"Yeah... upstairs." Jevrem grabs Izet's arm, and begins to pull him upward.
"W-why? W-we'll be t-trapped!" The robo-worker approaches... and bonks right into the bottom stair! It stares up at them neutrally.
"...Very interesting..." Jevrem notices this, staring suspiciously at the stuck pursuer.
"M-maybe z-zombies c-cannot c-climb s-stairs?" Izet offers.
"Ne... I think there is something else going on here." Contemplatively, the two kids run up the stairs.
Alfred groans, staring at the camera feed from the robo-worker's 'eyes'. "Drat. They figured out its weakness already. Well, maybe Ivan's onto something with the two loudmouths..."
He flips through the camera feeds in the control room, noticing Brenka and Andrej approaching a blast door, Ivan in pursuit. "Heh... perfect." Planning to trap them, he hits the button to close the door.
Up ahead of Brenka and Andrej, klaxons begin to blare as the door lowers in front of their escape route.
"Not good, bre! Who is doing this?!" The angry Serb looks around the room.
"Figure it out later!" Andrej runs under the door. Brenka slides under, but her šajkača is knocked off her head in the process!
"Oh ne!" She looks back, seeing the special hat under the closing door. With impressive reflexes, she reaches back, grabbing the hat right as the door slams shut! A thump can be heard as their pursuer faceplants into it.
"You... went back for a hat." Andrej raises an eyebrow, watching Brenka put the hat back on.
"...Do not disrespect my šajkača, Croatian." She gives him an angry glare that could weld a door shut. "Now come, bre. I see stairs ahead."
Andrej giggles at her, as he gets up and follows her toward the stairwell. "Heh heh, you said 'come'."
"Darn it..." Alfred mutters as he realizes his 'trap', actually trapped his partner in crime instead. He looks at the cameras, not realizing which stairwell the kids are walking up...
"And just what do you think you are doing, bre!"
"W-Who are y-you?"
"Guys, I think we found the mastermind..."
"What was your first clue, eh Jevrem?"
Alfred's face goes white as he turns around, seeing all four of the kids standing in the doorway, staring at him. "Well, shit."
"So. What was the meaning of all this?" Brenka says, pacing back and forth in front of Alfred and Ivan. The two pranksters are sitting in the middle of the control room, surrounded by the other kids.
"Do not blame me, was all Fredka's idea." Ivan points out.
"Duude..." Alfred whines, "I didn't /force/ you to come, you /wanted/ to be here!"
"W-what should w-we do?" Izet stutters out.
"You think we should dress them in something embarassing? Heh heh heh..." Andrej imagines what kind of stuff they could make the duo wear.
"...Actually, I think I have a plan." Brenka pulls out her phone, showing off a picture. "They are called opanci. Very weird shoes from my homeland. We will make you wear them to school for a month, bre!"
Ivan flinches at the sight of the ridiculous shoes, while Alfred laughs. "Hah, do your worst! I lost my dignity years ago when my older brother made me wear a tea bag costume!"
Andrej laughs, while Ivan mutters, "...phrasing."
"Not scared, huh? I can think of far worse..." The Serbian woman begins to think... her face plastered with an evil grin. "I might have some /women's clothing/ that may fit you two."
"Serby, that's dirty..." Jevrem whines.
"How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that! I am not Srbija, bre!"
Meanwhile, Ivan's face freezes, looking over the shoulders of the Yugoslavian kids...
"You... do not belong here..."
"Whoa, dude!" Alfred laughs. "Nice work on the second ghost!"
"...Is not me, Fredka..."
Brenka and the others turn around, looking at the mysterious voice. It's coming from a man, dressed in construction gear, with a distinct translucency to him.
"Hah! This one's fake too, bre! Watch!" Brenka walks up, intending to slap the 'fake' ghost... and watches in horror as her hand passes right through, turning frosty in the process.
"Leave... now..."
"...Ohhhh ne." Brenka manages to gasp out, before the kids run away. In the process, Alfred knocks over a CD player he had set up for an earlier part of the prank. It begins to play a song, having landed on the factory intercom button...
[Essential mood music: Mystery Skulls - Ghost (MysteryBen27 Animated Version)]
"Dudes, where do we go?!" Alfred looks around.
"L-let's s-split u-up..." Izet stutters out. "I-it c-can't c-chase us a-all..."
Hearing the ghost behind them, they all bolt in different directions.
'Cause the world might do me in
Izet runs down a paper-strewn hallway, Jevrem following him.
It's alright 'cause I'm with friends
Alfred runs down the stairwell.
Guess I'm giving up again
Ivan heads down a different hallway, the ghost in hot pursuit.
It doesn't matter (Ooh ooh ooh)
Brenka and Andrej carefully make their way across a catwalk.
Had me feeling like a ghost
Alfred kicks down a door... revealing a broom closet.
And that's what I hate the most
Jevrem trips over a cardboard box, Izet helping him up as they continue.
Guess I'm giving up again
Seeing no ghost behind them, Brenka and Andrej take their time with the second catwalk, picking up speed once they're on solid flooring again.
This time, this time, this time...
Ivan finds a rusty pipe, the same one he had earlier...
This time I might just disappear
"Давай, дебил!" Ivan taunts the ghost as it approaches.
Ah yeah (Woah ooh oh oh)
The ghost leaps at Ivan, who swings the pipe. It ducks, and Ivan feels a chill through him as the ghost passes through his torso.
This time I might just dis--
Coughing, Ivan stumbles to his feet and resumes running. The ghost continues, in pursuit of someone else.
(Mo mo mo mo moah~, mo mo mo mo moah~) AH YEAH
Brenka and Andrej round a corner... right into the ghost's path! It roars at them, and they run the other way.
(Mo mo mo mo moah, oooh~) This time I might just disappear
Izet grabs onto a rope and slides down to the ground floor. Jevrem continues to run, unaware of his companion's separation.
(Woah ooh oh oh)
Alfred tries to kick another door, only for it to recoil and knock him over.
This time I might just dis--
Brenka trips over the fallen American, sliding down the hall. Andrej holds out his hand for Alfred to get up, and they follow the sliding Serb.
(Mo mo mo mo moah~, mo mo mo mo moah~) AH YEAH
Jevrem finds a hallway with portraits of the workers of the old factory. He is vaguely unsettled by this.
(Mo mo mo mo moah, oooh~)
Ivan manages to run into Izet. "Come, friend, we must continue!" He picks up the scared Bosnian, and carries him toward the central hall.
Alfred, Brenka, and Andrej reach Ivan and Izet.
"Dudes, there's no exit!"
"I am not getting killed by a ghost that doesn't exist, bre!"
"W-we m-must e-escape..."
"We WILL find way out. Come, da?"
"Hehe..." Andrej snickers.
"Not the time, dude."
A yell echoes from one hallway, while the ghost approaches from the other. The group resumes running.
Try and hear me, then I'm done
Jevrem is caught in a tangle of cables he ran into.
'Cause I might just say this once
Andrej finds him first, and pulls him out. "Did you find something, eh?"
Seen this play out in my dream
"The ghost... it doesn't match any of the pictures on the wall..."
It doesn't matter (Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm)
Their train of thought is interrupted as the ghost shows up.
Tired of giving up the ghost
The other four enter the hallway, grabbing Jevrem and Andrej and running.
Fuck, it's YOU I hate the most
The ghost points a spectral finger at the group, yelling something in an odd language as it resumes pursuit.
Maybe there's no guarantee
"...Литовский?" Ivan mutters, before Alfred gets his attention again to keep running.
It doesn't matter
The group rounds a turn, running into a hallway filled with doors.
"Dudes, no..." Alfred groans. "I hate the bit with the doors..."
A very close-by roar makes him reconsider.
(Uuh) This time I might just disappear
All six of them run into one door, closing it behind them. The ghost opens the door and follows.
Ah yeah (Woah ooh oh oh)
Ivan and Brenka run out of the opposite door, Izet and Jevrem out of another, Alfred and Andrej out of a fourth, and the ghost comes out of the first door.
This time I might just dis--
The pairs swap room sides, the ghost phasing through Andrej to chase Izet.
(Mo mo mo mo moah~, mo mo mo mo moah~) AH YEAH
More door-shuffling occurs. A comment from Ivan about "dumb amerikanski cartoon reference" is lost in the chaos.
(Mo mo mo mo moah, oooh~) This time I might just disappear
The ghost exits a door, being chased by the four Yugoslavians. Alfred and Ivan are somehow chasing copies of themselves.
(Woah ooh oh oh)
A penguin wearing a red rubber glove on its head waddles out of a door, tripping the ghost in the process. The six kids regroup in the middle of the hall.
"...This chicken looks familiar..." Alfred mutters, only to be interrupted by the ghost standing up. The kids run back the way they came, Jevrem pointing out a 'fire exit' sign on the wall.
This time I might just dis--
"We're almost out, dudes!"
"Now are you believe in haunted factory, Serbian?"
"Okay, bre, I guess it was real!"
"T-the e-exit! C-come o-on!"
"Hehe..."
"NOT THE TIME, ANDREJ!" comes a yell from all five of the others.
(Mo mo mo mo moah~, mo mo mo mo moah~) AH YEAH
Jevrem leads them through a stairwell, going right through the control room.
(Mo mo mo mo moah, oooh~)
"Are you KIDDING ME, bre?!"
"Dude, there's my CD player!" Alfred runs over and turns it off, the music promtly halting.
"Fredka, leave it and run!" Ivan points out the ghost behind him.
"Well, crud."
All six kids roll out the fire exit, and run into the woods back into town. The ghost stops at the threshold, watching them escape, before floating back inside.
"Next year, we are go trick or treat instead, da?"
"Da."
"D-da."
"Da, yeah."
"Da, bre."
"Sure, dude."
The ghost floats back to the central hall of the factory... before reaching up, and taking its mask off. Underneath, an elderly Lithuanian man can be seen.
"Heh heh heh... Every year, it just gets more fun to do that." He begins to walk out... before stopping at a certain hallway. Curiously, he opens a door, and sticks a hand through... before staring, confused, at that same hand sticking out of a door at the other end of the hall. "What in the...?"
Deciding not to question it, he goes back and heads out the factory exit door, chuckling to himself. "Keep this up, Toris, and you'll have a haunting legacy for life..."









