Michael*, who always feels like somebody or something is watching him, judging him, waiting to get him, assault him, kill him.
Michael, who hears people laughing and is convinced that they're laughing at him, terrifying him to his core, but also agitating him, making him aggressive, filling his head with images of hurting them, forcing them to stop.
Michael, who feels bugs crawling under and over his skin, making his whole body itch until he scratches himself into a bleeding, whimpering mess.
Michael, who sees shadows in the corner of his eye, who hears thumps and footsteps, convinced that somebody or something is there, ready to kill him; and so, terrified as he is, he grabs a knife and searches through his entire apartment multiple times, looking into every nook and cranny to make sure he's alone.
Michael, who is paralysed with fear, hearing noises outside of his room, but unable to get up and look, forced to wait and imagine the worst, convinced that it is the end for him.
Michael, who never feels safe.
Michael, who never feels wanted.
Michael, who never knows if it's just his mind playing tricks on him.
Michael, who suffers from paranoia.
*this post is about Michael Afton from the Five Nights at Freddy's 2 movie!
thinking about how when Jeremy was being a little shit, Corey sat there, processing and deciding on how to respond appropriately, before eventually settling on the stern, "Okay, five minutes, and then you're going to bed", which is most definitely word for word what his mother has been telling him since childhood whenever he was 'acting up'.
and thinking about how he probably always hoped to never be like his mother, and how he was thinking about another way to discipline Jeremy and have some authority over him without being like her, only to end up doing what he's known to be on the receiving end of so intimately his entire life.
I think it's super interesting how Michael's characterisation differs quite a bit between the movie and its novelisation.
he's a huge creepy loser in both, of course, but Freddy Carter's performance gave him a lot more nuance throughout his scenes, whereas in the novelisation that nuance only comes out rarely.
in the novel, he's very much an overzealous cartoonish villain, if you will, who enjoys everything that happens. he reacts with glee to seeing Alex being dismembered by Mangle (he even does a little happy dance after!); and he taunts and enjoys whatever happened to Lisa at first, until he sees that she's being possessed by the Marionette -- that's when fear strikes him, and he runs out.
and when he confronts Vanessa, his whole demeanour only softens when he asks her to come home. and yeah, he's still angry when he's rejected, and he's scared when the other animatronics come and destroy the ones under his and Charlotte's control, but compared to what the movie has given us, it's mostly one-note otherwise.
I find that extremely interesting because I assume that the novelisation was written with only the script at hand, so I'm guessing that a lot of the nuance we saw was due to Freddy Carter's personal acting choices, along with/under Emma Tammi's direction. I just love it, lol <3
this small passage after Michael (terrified) ran out of the building is my personal favourite, though:
"Straightening up, Michael hugged himself and kept staring at the door. Even as he kept his gaze on the door, he felt chagrined. He was acting … like a human, like a normal person who could be scared by the evil in the world. He was sure that if he were being watched, his watcher would’ve seen more than a glimmer of fear. Shameful. Michael began backing away from the building. Staring at it, he fully understood the enormity of what he’d just done. He understood it, was petrified by it, and was thrilled by it … all at the same time. Michael took a deep breath and exhaled the fear. He might as well enjoy the moment."
William messed with Michael so much since he was a child that he doesn't even allow--let alone view--himself as a human being! I did get that exact vibe from the movie, too, but to have it quite literally spelled out like this is simply delightful to me! <3
can't stop thinking about Dmitri choosing what Sergei wears for the birthday dinner; especially because he does it in a manner that is so indescribably hot to me. (the way he looks him up and down, smiles almost condescendingly, but is clearly excited, tells him off for wearing what he does and wanting to stay in, almost whining about how it's his birthday and so obviously Sergei has to comply, already having a fitting suit ready at hand, etc.)
and so I'm just over here and absolutely running with that because nobody can tell me that Dmitri wouldn't do that with his partner, as well.
just- Dmitri choosing your outfit when he's going out with you (or for other occasions, or even generally), and you're both loving it because it's casual yet intimate, and it's also a great act of love and affection because in order to dress somebody in a way that makes them comfortable and happy you have to know them so deeply that it's transcending.
some basic things you should consider doing when you're writing and posting your "x reader" fic:
clearly state what kind of "reader" it is; i.e. female, male, gender neutral, trans
clearly state the type of relationship reader has with the character(s); i.e. romantic, sexual, platonic, established, first time/meeting/getting-together
do not use descriptions for reader, unless clearly stated beforehand to be relevant
-> relevant things (to the plot or kind of story/headcanons) could be: if reader is trans, short, tall, thin, fat, an otherworldly being, has glasses, scars, a limb difference, a chronic illness, a disability, even their skin colour or ethnicity, etc.
-> if none of these things are at all relevant to the actual story, keep reader neutral and don't use any language that may insinuate one or the other
-> the whole point of reader inserts is to be inclusive, so that absolutely anybody could insert themselves into the story. otherwise, it is no longer a reader insert, but rather an OC or self-insert!
if you include any kind of photos or aesthetics, moodboards, etc. for the reader to have visuals to adjust their imagination with, avoid actual people in them
-> the second that you use a photo of a white person, a brunette, a blond(e), somebody with long or short, and curly or straight, hair, etc. it destroys all neutrality for many potential readers
-> it doesn't matter if you state that the actual story is race neutral or doesn't describe reader in other ways, the photos already tell a different story and can alienate potential readers (this also includes gender, if it's a gender neutral story and you use a woman in the photos. same goes for bodies!)
if it's smut, clearly state what kind of sexual activities and kinks (if any) it includes and also what genitals reader has, or who is on top/bottom or dom/sub, if relevant
-> trans people often read mostly untagged stories, hoping that it means that they're gender neutral, only to be hit with every gender dysphoria-inducing word imaginable
-> everybody has preferences! not every female reader is a submissive bottom (or kinky, or submissive at all), and vice versa. and not every reader likes the same sexual acts (i.e. penetrative sex, oral sex, etc.)
if you're wondering how to write gender neutral smut:
-> describe the actual activity less, focus more on sensations, and other things that could convey what's going on without using gendered language for reader.
-> if you must describe reader's genitalia and they're the bottom, use words like "hole". you may describe "wetness" because lube is important either way. you may describe fingering as preparation because it should happen either way.
-> if reader is the top, it can be a little more difficult, but at the same time... whether or not it's a strap-on, it can be described like a dick or a toy anyway, so you may stick to that without actually insinuating one or the other (i.e. it's up to the reader if it is actually a strap-on or a penis). again, focus on sensations and what's happening in other ways, rather than just describing the action in a clinical or dirty talk-esque way.
it's been extremely frustrating to see barely any changes in this regard over the years, to be honest. writers still blatantly cross tag their fics, refuse to state reader's gender anywhere beforehand, use white people for their aesthetics, or even describe reader in ways that imply them to be white. again, this is the fic genre that should be the most inclusive, but it's always been the opposite in my experience. things have to change.
I've listed some of my own fics as examples for pretty much every point, under the cut, to better illustrate what I mean:
my most recent fic (as of the time of this post) that can show how to properly and clearly state what kind of reader, relationship, and contents the fic contains
a fic with a teenage!reader, who has a platonic father figure-type relationship with the character, that can show how those descriptors are relevant to the story
headcanons with a chubby/fat reader to show a different descriptor relevant to the kind of post you're making without describing anything else about reader
a gender neutral smut fic where reader is a dominant bottom (it's kinky, so please read the contents carefully before proceeding!) that shows how you can describe it without using any gendered terms for reader's genitalia
another gender neutral smut fic, also with reader as the bottom, but not kinky, longer, and more descriptive to show how one could write it from preparation to sex to orgasm without using any gendered language for reader
this isn't me trying to be all "holier-than-thou" or whatever, of course. I've had to learn this, too, and people can slip up and we can unintentionally use phrasings or small descriptors without thinking anything of it that end up making others feel excluded. it's just important to be reflective enough to see that, and to change it when you or somebody else notices it.
in case people are still wondering what this is in the background during the FNaF 2 movie:
it's a Foxy head:
because I've seen people talk about it in the past weeks and theorising what it is and if it's an easter egg or Vanny mask or whatever, so I thought I'd share these to clear things up, in case this is still something people are wondering about. :')
you can clearly see it in the videos from Dawko and co. when they were visiting the set! (the screenshot I took is from Dawko's first/spoiler-free video on the set of the movie)
this is exactly why it's so important to educate. this is why we "police" language and tell you what words to use instead. because this is how you actively perpetuate stigmas and demonise a whole group of people.
and this is how it keeps spreading because within three days this first comment has received 25 likes, which may not seem like much now, but those 25 people spread this "knowledge" to 25 other people and so on and so forth.
again: narcissists are people with narcissistic personality disorder. a cluster B PD that is usually developed through abuse trauma (and genetic predispositon).
gaslighting is a term used for the act of knowingly making somebody doubt themselves and their sanity (how they perceive events, their memories, etc.).
being self-absorbed and not taking responsibility for certain behaviours is something every person is capable of.
it's not "narcissistic abuse". it's emotional abuse. every person is capable of it.
stop calling everybody a narcissist because they've done something like this. it's not right. it's just another term y'all picked up on the internet without ever doing research about what it means or where it really comes from.
and of course it's just another way for y'all to demonise people and stigmatise mental disorders you think make somebody abusive and unworthy of being part of disability and mental health activism...
