“ARE WE DEVILS?”
❝ heavy question. ❞ apathetic in tone, nonchalant in nature. it wasn’t long ago when you had convinced yourself that there was no one worse than you ( even surrounded by monsters dressed in the mask of humans, there was a wall between them and you that wouldn’t give you a break from believing you were just as bad as them. ) your faults have ignited a hurricane, fatality reached despite it not weighing on your shoulders, but you put it there anyway. your guilt nearly buried you alive, always suffocating you, ruining you to the core and making you forget everything you used to be. you’re not the same person you were a year ago, you’re not even the same person you were six months ago. a year ago, you felt like you could say and not say, do and not do, whatever you wanted with no consequences. six months ago, you had convinced yourself you were the devil, that you set off a series of bad quakes that left this town in ruins. now, you’re left putting the pieces together, trying to find the right path once again as you rediscover who you are. you may never stop hating yourself for what you’ve done, but you’re finally starting to accept it all ----- you’re starting to see that there are others around you that are the real monsters; it doesn’t have to be you.
a slow blink, and your eyes finally drift back to the other. ❝ we’re not who we used to be. doesn’t make us good people. ❞ you may never see yourself as a GOOD PERSON again, even though you’re trying to be ( it’s why you wanted so desperately to hear those tapes again, to rediscover what it was that destroyed your mind and buried you with guilt. ) you’re trying to make a better effort with those around you because you know how easy it is to fall through the cracks. but will it ever be enough? ❝ i don’t know, clay, i think we’re just fucked. ❞ but it doesn’t seem pointless anymore, not like it did so many months ago. it feels like progress.
⤷ @liaeble
