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every day i must experience? what tje fuck </3

#i made this 2 vent but physically i am just incapable of genuinely doig that <3 its so funny like baby i am repressing everytbing so hard <3 #ive been repressing evrrything ive ever felt n experienced since i was like 3 lol its 100% involuntary now <3 #like idk what to tell u this is why journalling is just me going hi and then closing the journal bc physically i an incapable of even #thinking abt anythig genuinely so when it comesto takng it from inside my brain ti elsewhere if its smth like <3 real well i simply short #circuit my brain just goes an e ways see u <3 no thoughts or feeligs ever <3 #i dot have a memory also <3 #like in yherapy even i cannot do more than answer direct yes or no questions or show examples or fill out questionnaires its so funny #tried so many thigs lol it is just not happenig <3 nothing in my brain good bye #like this here is the best i can do n its bc i'm laughing at myself abt it <3 #the way conditioning from a young age rly just makes your brain not work right <3 #so so funny like beloved you are ill #literally i can only vent in indirect ways otherwise i just wither and die <3 #like i just shut down completely <3 nothing in here ever <3 i have a breakdown and i am not conscious abt it then i repress n forget every #thig i've ever felt n experienced <3 #evey day i <3 #bye my loves i do not exist <3 #if anyone asks i am perfectly fine do jot wory abt it <3 #moss.exe

always fun to rewatch the mandalorian with my very latine parents cause his nickname is mando, so it’s like supposed to be pronounced MAN-DOH. but they say it like. MAHN-DOH. like with the accent. LMAOOOOOOO

#also i’m not giving disney any credit but making grogu a puppet instead of cgi was the best decision they could have ever made #no one make fun of me if i get the phonetics wrong #english is a barely respectable language anyway but u guys get what i’m saying #moss.exe

good morning girlies! let's get that lobotomy!

#pleas i wake up and there she is again <3 so so many symptams #moss.exe #btw <3 i know lobotomies dont actualy Work but you know what i think if we just disconnect all the parts like a puzzle then everuthing will #work out honistly :)#for all my gamers out there every dau feels like facing a dark souls boss </3

um i can be little a insane, as a treat

#today i am losign it and maybe that is just kind of sexey of me #my meat is hUge and it holds all my brain cells #that is why i do nOt have any in my brain #moss.exe

im rly hanging on by a thread in terms of impulse control ohhh i am fucking pacing like a caged animal

#for the love of god i need to do impulsive shit i need to or i'll die i will #insert that fuckig gif of the person pacing talking to themselves like tats me rn ok #im snarling and foaming at the mouth #im gnawig at the bars of my enclosure ohhhhhhh #please for the love of god i am losig my mind #we realy need to reevaluate this whole symptam situation maybe it is just mania actuakly #i rly need to take my meds n just go to sleep but i canot be arsed but well i am also on the verge if hust doing every impulsive thing ever #im not in any immediate danger i dot think but well :] im being stupid but not in a dangerous way so dot wory #moss.exe

another day another rage within me, wahoo!

#i am going to start beating people to death i mean it now #its funny bc the things that would lessen this are not based in reality nor a general possibility #so i will remain enraged for years to come #until i am able to change the strings of reality and time itself #i will bite the hand that feeds because i cannot allow them i cannot allow myself #moss.exe #vague tw #no i won't elaborate u will just have to use ur imagination on this one or cease to perceive it

well i just think i should be allowed to beat people to death if i dont obtain the ability to shapeshift real soon to be quite honest

#please being genderfluid is so funny because every day i am so so angry i cannot physically change my form in a significant enough way #like you dot get it.. transitioning will never be enough if i do not obtain the ability to shapeshift i am going to maul people #not to be experiencing syndromes or whatever but quite frankly i wil explode if i do not become capable of being every desired form whenever #like i wouldnt even be mentally ill anymore i dont think this will solve all my issues #/j on that one but i am thinking i am thinking #girlies i am going to need you all to manifest this one with me because otherwise i Am going to snap and kill #like i mean it if i cant even be a shapeshifting prettyboy type mf whats the point even what is the point of it all #psychotically also i will just combust if i cannot shapeshift soon like on god #moss.exe

every day i just have some sort of reaction to things -_-

#im beating the shit out of my genes im doing it #so over all these funny little ailments like why dont we behave now #just let me enjoy my stupid little green juice -_- grow Up #moss.exe #btw u can interpret tis one both mentally n physically bc its a little evil hannah montana worst of both worlds moment #also unrelatid but #i have so many posts in my likes i need to rb stil i am goig to try and queue things again if this thing will behave for once #hm. i want 2 draw also but digitaly but i cannot fucking remember how to work sai she is a mystery every time to me bc of my funny little #memary issues so i just will not retain how to use her unless i draw like. nonstop nd frankly i have too many adhds for that #im literally in super hell -_-

#moss.exe

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