summary: the doorman expected yet another typical card night in their dreams, what they got instead was the adorable sight of a tired, grumpy unlikely.
word count: 760 words
warnings: slightly suggestive
a/n: okay this prompt i took the most creative liberties for especially at the start with grumpy unlikely and the reason for why he's so sleepy. based from what gabby told me, *he* is the one who gives *himself* flaws and so i thought hey, he would totally try sleeping like a human for once in his life and didn't expect to get woken up. they still try to play with the doorman, but well, you'll see. this was more of a crack fic, if i'm being honest since i didn't really take it that seriously but it was a fun write and i got to see some unlikelitties. hey, if you're curious about trading with me for a fic, read this post!
credits: @gabbadabbadoob for her absolute badonkahonkers unlikely clown thumbnail art & @/strangergraphics for the ao3 dividers
It was yet another dream where the doorman opened their eyes to the same bleak walls with the same rectangular wooden table in front of them. Dried blood smeared the floors and painted the bottom half of the already depressing walls. They figured it was time for yet another game of cards with the Clown that always only ever appeared in their dreams, except…
The wooden seat before them was completely empty. No big guy wearing a jumpsuit and a maniacal toothy smile on his face while raving about the rules of the game just in case they had forgotten. But this was clearly the same room where every single card game with the Clown had been in.
Could he be teleporting between dreams? Perhaps forgot it had sent them there that night by accident? It was too… unlikely, even for the Unlikely Clown that the poster had warned him about.
Finally, a random door just appeared on the wall in the middle of the doorman's musings and in came the Clown that had been meeting them so consistently and deliberately before, except… What is he wearing? Their cheeks flushed red as their eyes travelled down the huge figure of the dream entity with his large tummy bulging out and the pale skin visible in spite of the tank top he was wearing that barely contained his massive chest. The cherry on top ---or rather, worn on his bottom half--- was the skintight red pants that had gambling motifs on it such as the lucky number '777', a pinball roulette, dice, chips, and playing cards. Their mind began to wonder towards what kind of shoes ---if they were even shoes at all--- the Clown was wearing and it almost made the doorman snort and dug himself an early grave by insulting a possibly terrestrial being.
"You're late," the doorman had to basically force the rest of the words out of their throat but they continued on, "and you look… tired."
Tired was one way to put it. Unlikely didn't have one of his usual crazed smiles, in fact, he looked more like the grumpy balding neighbor on the first floor than himself.
"It's because you humans like to sleep so much," Unlikely yawned and sat down in his chair before stretching his arms. The sight was enough to make even a trained doorman blush. "I wanted to try being in the same sleep cycle as you humans and this dream woke me up."
The doorman crossed their arms, "Aren't you an all-powerful being if you can appear in people's dreams? Why would you need sleep?"
"I said…" Unlikely groaned as he was placing the cards down.
They watched as Unlikely almost toppled over the table while blinking himself awake and sighed. It was far too cute to actually mind. When the cards were finally shuffled and the game was set up, they just quieted down and watched Unlikely as it went on with some major hiccups.
For one, the back of the cards in his hands were mostly upside down. Second, he kept blinking in and out of sleep like the milkman from the third floor during ID checking. Third, he would put down a card with a too low number when he still had a lot of cards to spare. And fourth and finally, he didn't make that cute pouty face of his that he usually did when he had to take a +2 or grab a card from the deck.
It was endearing, to say the least, seeing this usually scary godlike entity act like your typical middle-aged man coming home from his nine-to-five. And it wasn't like the doorman was faring too well in this game either, even with their opponent at an obvious disadvantage because of their doziness, they still couldn't help but make crucial mistakes that came to bite them in the ass and make them lose the game. Oh well, that staring contest they had with the massive honkeroos was worth it.
When they looked up, they had expected the Clown to look at them with those hungry eyes intending to eat them whole and spit them back out of the 'nightmare' (although, for them, this sight was actually a dream) they were having. Instead, what they got was the adorable sight of the entity in front of them; its eyes closed and drooling off with its head to the side.
The cards laid forgotten on the wooden table and no one bothered to pick it up for at least a few more hours.
