it's noon. I have so much anxiety. he left me in the middle of a therapy session, so ever since we started talking again, I get nauseous and sick when he's at therapy. I had a nightmare about him prior to waking up. I hate that I am so afraid of him going there. I hate everything. I tried so hard to be good and lovable and enough and I was apparently so fucking horrid that his therapist helped him write a breakup text. i am genuinely a horrible excuse of a person sometimes
I wish I knew exactly what I did that made him leave so I can be aware of what to work on or fix or not do. I'm genuinely scared. the call dropped in the middle of his therapy session and I vomited afterwards. it was just coffee and stomach acid and it was disgusting. I got so anxious.
and I will never tell him that because he doesn't need to know and it would just create more fucking problems. I just want him to stay. I have to make sure I'm not a problem.
I should leave the house. I don't want to be alone like this. I feel sick..











