Mithrax (peering into a pet store): ...These small creatures look like they would perish if hugged.
Eido: They would.
Mithrax (whispering): I must resist.
Eido (holding up sunglasses): These are called “aviators.” They make people look cool.
Mithrax (putting them on over his helmet): Do I now radiate swag, daughter?
Eido: ...You radiate something.
Mithrax (in the food court): These fried... dough spirals. What are they?
Eido: Cinnamon rolls.
Mithrax (eating one whole): I am reborn.
Eido: Okay, we each get one treat. One.
Mithrax (returning with six bags): I have misunderstood the assignment.
Eido: Father, you bought every candle in the shop.
Mithrax: This one smells like “dreams.” It is called “marshmallow clouds.” I will never be the same.
Eido (picking up a shirt): This says “Slay Queen.” What’s that mean?
Mithrax: ...A title of noble conquest?
Eido: ...Buying it.
Mithrax (staring at escalator): It moves, yet it is a stair.
Eido: Do not challenge it, Father.
Mithrax (gripping rail nervously): It is unnatural and I do not trust it.
Eido: Do you think Zavala would wear this?
Mithrax (holding up a bucket hat that says “Commander of the Grill”): It is perfect. He would cry tears of confusion.
Mithrax (in a novelty store): This mug says “World’s Okayest Dad.” Should I be insulted?
Eido: It’s sarcasm. Humans weaponize it in the name of affection.
Mithrax: Then I am flattered and confused.
Eido: You can’t wear cargo shorts over your armor.
Mithrax (already wearing them): I have so many pockets now.
Eido (facepalming): Why did you challenge the arcade claw machine to honorable combat?
Mithrax (shaking the machine): It mocked me. I will have the frog plush, or I will have vengeance.
Mall Security: Sir, you can’t disassemble the gumball machine.
Eido: We’re so sorry.
Mithrax (with fistful of gum): IT DID NOT HONOR OUR AGREEMENT.
Eido (smirking): You’re enjoying yourself.
Mithrax (carrying 12 shopping bags and a boba tea): I am thriving in this strange retail battlefield.
Mithrax: Let us bring back a gift for Saint and Osiris.
Eido: What about this matching apron set that says “Grill Daddy” and “Grill Husband”
Mithrax (already paying): Yes.
