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Esther: I just ended a four year relationship.

Scrags: Oh, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?

Esther: Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It wasn’t my relationship.

*Keith and Gwen fighting from across the room*

Scrags: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Esther: Okay, but in my defense, Keith bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Scrags: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?

Keith: Wake me up…

Gwen: Before you go go!

Scrags: When September ends…

Esther: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-

Esther: Can I be frank with you guys?

Scrags: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Gwen: Can I still be Gwen?

Keith: Shh, let Frank speak.

Scrags: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me

Esther: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Scrags: Yes!

Keith: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you

Scrags: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.

Keith: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!?

Scrags: No! Four to five seconds!

Keith: Too late!!!

Esther: Scrags was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some

Scrags: Well, they shouldn’t say “all you can eat” if they don’t mean it

Esther: Scrags, you ate a chair.

Gwen: Esther and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Scrags: *Sighing* What did Esther do?

Gwen: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Esther: Who wants a steering wheel?

#scrogtaski