#slightlyfreakingout

[longxtradingco-blog]

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Just a small sneak peek of what has been happening at during the #nightshift @longxtradingco in order to get ready to leave in 72 hours 🛠🎨 #behindthescenes #slightlyfreakingout #gettingbetteratthis #leatherdye #longxlife #upallnight #handmade (at Long X Trading Co.) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq2YHDKHMP3/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=17hgmeg2icblg

[aroamingnamelessgirl-blog]

I'm trying really hard not to be the crazy one.

I'm starting to freak out about my relationship with the gentleman and now I have to constantly tell myself to stop being crazy. 

We've been spending a lot of time together and I can feel myself become more and more vulnerable and that scares the shit out of me. There are certain situations that have come up already and I don't know how to handle them so I over analyze and scare myself and throw up more walls when I know they should be coming down. I just keep thinking that he is going to see something he doesn't like and end it and I'm going to be devastated all over again and it will be much, much worse this time. Because to be honest, I am growing more and more attached, smitten, happy, giddy, enamored with him every day. 

VOMIT. 

See?! I'm turning into THAT crazy girl. I feel myself straying from the strong, independent woman it took me so long to become and turning into a sad, pathetic girl who desperately needs to know her boyfriend is still into her. I think it's because I'm still not quite sure whyyyyyy he is and I know me, I know I'll do something stupid and crazy to mess up the one thing I am most excited about in my life right now. UGGGHHHHH. I'm glad I'm getting this out of my system because now I can read over how ridiculous I sound. 

Ok. He likes me, he enjoys time with me, STOP BEING CRAZY AMANDA.

I guess we'll see after 4th weekend....we're spending the weekend together floating the river with his sister and her boyfriend soooo we'll see if obnoxious Amanda will fuck this up!