❛ i’m supposed to be the one who protects you from monsters. i’m not supposed to be one. ❜ [from V]
MEME.
[ ☆ ] » "I wish you stopped worrying so much." Youth replied - handing a can drink over. Something V couldn't afford, he knew that, but hey. Ouza bought one for himself too, there were no worries about that. "You're... not," normal? Regular? What was he supposed to say? "Not a monster. Sure - you can do some things I can't," summon monsters like that, but... "You're not as scary as you think. &&... it's good to be scary sometimes, Nii-san." Someone had to protect the weak. "It's okay to get frustrated sometimes, I get it."
‘ They say everybody steals somebody's heart away ’ [from noctis]
𝐌𝐀𝐙𝐙𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑 / 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒
@speratvs
❝ Thinking about Luna again, loverboy? ❞ He loved to tease him. Even better if he managed to get Noctis to stumble over his words, though that doesn't happen often. ❝ Oh wait— Don't tell me you've been thinking of 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐄𝐋𝐒𝐄? I promise, I won't say a word! ❞
Felt inspired. This is a drabble kinda fic, partially HC based. The blog with the ask that inspired this was deleted.
Context: Inuyasha is dying in Sesshomaru's arms. He'd made a remark that Sesshomaru never cared for him before so why now. Before dying, with labored breaths, he asks if Sesshomaru really hated him so much? This was a response drabble.
Length: 2,439 words
A true shame it was that Tenseiga at his hip hadn’t reacted at all though Inuyasha lay there progressively edging towards death one labored breath at a time. Inuyasha may not have any recollection of it firsthand as Sesshomaru had acted when Inuyasha had gone unconscious.
By mere coincidence as Sesshomaru would attest to, he had been within the area when he’d caught a whiff of a familiar scent. Curious, his keen senses tuned into the direction in which he was sure the scent had wafted along the gust of free wind. The gentle zephyr was a never dying reminder of a woman who once wielded it as her own.
At times, he felt that it may on occasion grace him with a chanced visit to lead him to where he must go. In this instance, the scent travelling along the wind caught Sesshomaru’s attention as he patrolled the lands. Turning abouts, he’d traced the scent, pace almost imperceivably hastening once a metallic smell lingering on the tail end of the scent was detected.
Happening on the scene, it had appeared that Inuyasha had valiantly fought against a powerful foe and had caused it enough damage that it had fled, if the lack of a carcass was anything to judge by. However, it seemed that his very own half-brother had been on his way to becoming one. The scent of death was pervasive to most living creatures, but it was particularly more pungent to the wielder of the death-defying sword.
Without hesitation, albeit mostly due to the unruly ruckus Tenseiga was causing within its sheath, Sesshomaru drew his blade and cut the invisible pests which attempted to escort his half-brother to the underworld.
Not wishing to entertain some awkward and half-meaningful conversations, he’d sheathed the sword, now quiet after having completed its goal and he’d left. One may think he’d left in a hurry as to not be accused of ‘caring’ for his hanyo brother, but the truth of the matter was deeper and yet so transparent.
Inuyasha was not meant to die in that moment, and Sesshomaru had the means to make it so.
Though he’d much prefer his act go unspoken, given Inuyasha’s party, he’d no doubt one may slip later down the line, so he deigns not to waste his breath in ensuring their silence.
Inuyasha’s question comes to Sesshomaru as both a shock and a source of confusion. Had no one told Inuyasha had he’d been revived once by Sesshomaru’s hand? Had he erroneously thought Sesshomaru stayed his hand to allow Inuyasha to die?
Tenseiga only had the power to revive an individual once, and it had already done its duty. Tenseiga, powerless to perform another feat of death-defying proportions lay at his side in solemn quiet. Both blades in proximity to each other emit a small hum just barely perceptible to the ears of Sesshomaru.
In the back of his mind, he believes that the blades were in communication with each other, lamenting over their powerlessness to protect the life of the wielder of Tessaiga.
The Daiyoukai’s mouth opens, but no sound comes out as he’d closed his mouth again.
In any other time, Sesshomaru would have answered with his sass (though increasingly rare to emerge in recent times), or to rebuke Inuyasha for his daftness, but in hindsight, Inuyasha had such a lack of understanding but not at a fault of his own.
Neither human nor demon, but an entity and identity of his own, he did not truly belong among one or the other though his blood would state otherwise.
The young child could not live as a human nor could he really live as a demon either, and so it made sense that he couldn’t truly relate to either part of his heritage in the truest of sense. Inuyasha could not understand the intricacies of the Demon mind nor their culture.
How could he when even with Demon society there was much to learn and understand for full-blooded Demons. A hanyo like Inuyasha may need things spelled out for him. An epiphany that occurs almost too late for the elder half-brother.
Whatever the reason behind the question, Inuyasha had laboriously asked the question, perhaps requiring the answer to peacefully travel across the river styx to the afterlife.
That said, Sesshomaru would be accused of being an imposter should he not respond with some bite. “You’ve lived this long, haven’t you?”
A subtle answer to Inuyasha’s question.
Of course, he understood that most subtleties would be lost on his brother.
In truth, what Sesshomaru had hated was the circumstances of Inuyasha’s birth. What he’d felt by Toga leaving his family to sire another son with another woman was nothing short of confusion, betrayal, and anger. Toga had turned away from his family to start another, and prioritized him.
He’d dared to plot to use his own son as training fodder for the sake of Inuyasha’s gain.
No, this was in fact more a testament to how Toga had trusted that if Inuyasha had come that far to come across the Meido, Sesshomaru had more than likely come to accept Inuyasha. That being the case, he’d trusted that his son would look after his half-kin.
It was within the nature of canines to look after the members of their pack. Gaining Sesshomaru’s acknowledgement meant that he’d seen Inuyasha as his kin in the truest and honor bound sense befitting of a son of an honorable Taisho.
Still, in the heat of the moment of realizing the Tenseiga was truly cast off from the Tessaiga, he had felt used and disrespected. He’d discarded the sword then, but it had later been returned to his side in an event that both brothers would remember well.
Perhaps in that moment, he saw a glimpse of Toga’s true meaning. Though he had left to form a new family, he never truly forsaken his former ‘pack.’ He was merely expanding his pack and hoping that the previous pack would forgive him after the pain and join him hand in hand.
Inuyasha would surely outlive his mother and it would be all the more important for him to form stronger bonds to his Demon-kin.
Preventing Demons from wielding the Tessaiga was both a deterrent for Sesshomaru to steal from his half-brother, but to also prevent from other Demons to covet which wasn’t theirs. The sword was entirely for Inuyasha’s benefit. It protected the important part of him that drew Toga to Izayoi, her humanity.
Without the blade, Inuyasha may lose himself to the Inu-youkai blood coursing through his veins, of which Sesshomaru had seen himself personally.
Over the course of chasing after Naraku for his transgressions against his esteemed-self, the elder brother had witnessed Inuyasha’s development and maturity. He was deserving of the name of the Inu no Taisho’s son, and Sesshomaru’s half-brother.
At one point, he accepted Inuyasha and approved of him, though he barely made any discernible sign for any but himself to notice. This was the reason why he had been willing to forfeit the Meido to Inuyasha, who he’d believed was to be the intended wielder.
There stood the chance that Toga had left the Meido for Sesshomaru to perfect, thereby surpassing Toga’s legacy—and Sesshomaru had thought of this. However, the notion of Tenseiga being cast off from Tessaiga was a heavy fact that the elder couldn’t dismiss.
The Tessaiga was incomplete. Perhaps cast off for fear that Inuyasha could not control it, but Sesshomaru understood his brother better than what Toga could have possibly imagined for his son. He underestimated the potential of Inuyasha’s growth and control.
Yes, he, a greedy Demon could have chosen to look the other way and keep the Meido to himself, but he had acknowledged his brother. As the elder, he had his own role to play in nurturing Inuyasha. A duty he’d admittedly been quite lacking in.
To prove that Inuyasha had what it took to take on the now completed Meido Zangetsuha, Sesshomaru had bequeathed it to Inuyasha’s control.
Lo and behold, he could wield its powers just fine. His instincts as a warrior was not one to undermine as he once had.
The weak Hanyo was anything but an existence he needed to cull.
Survival of the fittest and might is justice are two important ideologies of Demons, and Sesshomaru had believed that would Inuyasha die, it would be much better for him to die to something strong than to something weak. That way, he wouldn’t besmirch the honor of Toga’s bloodline.
He’d tested Inuyasha in different ways, barely caring for Inuyasha’s outcome at the end of his machinations because if Inuyasha were to die, that’s all he would amount to. A weak existence that was culled by his own hand.
He would bear the weight of fratricide as that was better than being kin to something that died to a weak Demon or beast.
Alas, Inuyasha had survived time and time again, proving that he had the mettle to carry the weight of Toga’s legacy. The first true moment of interest and ‘care’ came in the form of his stub of an arm. Inuyasha had fought back and lobbed his arm off- a true feat, one for him to boast about for centuries.
The weak creature had outperformed Sesshomaru’s anticipation, and somehow- that excited him. What else could Inuyasha do? How else could he improve? Subtly, he would on occasion give Inuyasha clues to what to do or what to consider in combat, and in time he’d come to understand his words.
Did he hate Inuyasha?
It was complicated.
He hated the circumstances of how Inuyasha came to be, how after his birth, Toga had lost his life. To him, Inuyasha was the harbinger of Toga’s death. Still, he was kin.
Though he was quite old in human terms, he was young in the realm of Demons. Not had enough time to really come to terms with his familial situation and the death of his Father, he barely had enough emotional maturity to really acknowledge Inuyasha- to regard him as kin.
He’d lashed out at Inuyasha and disdained him for all he stood for. The son Toga died for. The one Toga had bequeathed his legacy to, the ‘true son’ as some had whispered among themselves. It was a testament to Sesshomaru’s self-control that he didn’t allow his bruised pride to cull the brat then and there.
No, he’d respected Toga’s honor too much to do that so soon.
He’d allowed Inuyasha to live, even after his mother died. He’d tested Inuyasha and tormented him, which in some perspectives was much akin to lions throwing their cubs off cliffsides to toughen them up for the arduous life up ahead.
Had Sesshomaru truly hated Inuyasha in the sense that Inuyasha was likely referring to, he would have killed Inuyasha when he was impaled to the tree.
Such a fate was a disgrace to the Toga bloodline! He’d be better off dead!
Alas, he’d only left Inuyasha alone on the off chance that he may one day be freed from the curse. Then, he could continue to watch over Inuyasha in the way he knew best, by throwing dangerous trial after trial after him.
Inhumane were some of his trials, but is that not the point? This Sesshomaru was no human.
A sigh escapes Sesshomaru after his sassy remark that Inuyasha had lived this long. “This brother did not hate you, but the circumstances around you.” Though Sesshomaru loathe to speak his internal thoughts, much less so speaking at length, this was what he owed of Inuyasha in his time of death.
“You had your own trials and tribulations through your childhood and I’ve my own Demons to face in the wake of our Father’s death and his departure from his first family.” Dare he say he felt regret or ashamed of the actions of his past?
This Sesshomaru wouldn’t be known for his haughty and pompous nature if so!
“You’ve proved your claim to our bloodline time and time again, and this brother would not dispute our blood ties.” In other words, he wouldn’t be ashamed to admit he was related to Inuyasha. “… Father would be proud of you.” ‘As much as I am’ was left unspoken, but perhaps inherently understood through the understanding between brothers, though half they may be.
The question could be returned back to the dying hanyo, but Sesshomaru had always long since suspected the answer. His younger half-brother didn’t hate Sesshomaru, but was hurt from the supposed rejection.
If he had hated Sesshomaru, he wouldn’t have shown concern for him, though seldom it was. The tolerance and generosity of humans was something Sesshomaru didn’t think he’d ever tire of.
“Next time, be born to a family where your brother would treat you as you wanted.”
These were the final words Sesshomaru left with his brother, hoping for his next life to be more fruitful and less pained.
Though he previously refused to allow for his half-brother to die such an embarrassing death, he’d now understood that in the face of having his brother dying in his arms, powerless to save him—honor was the last thing on his mind.
The feeling of loss and upset was far more prevalent than all else.
Maybe if this had happened earlier on, he would have had ‘mercy’ on Inuyasha’s honor by sending him off quicker, but things were different now. He was in his own way, gentle. He did not wish for Inuyasha to pass on, but he also did not wish for Inuyasha’s passing to be pained.
During this exchange, Sesshomaru’s mokomoko had subconsciously coiled around them to keep Inuyasha warm, like it were a warm embrace that he may have wanted as a young child. The mokomoko being an extension of his raw power, it was ironic how soft and warm it was.
A true shame it was that both brothers were so prideful, awkward, and stupid to have waited until now to have such a conversation.
At the end of it all, Sesshomaru was glad that he had the chance to give Inuyasha the closure he needed before death, something that Sesshomaru could never have as Toga had passed on before Sesshomaru could ever get his needed answers.
Knowing the anguishing feeling of being left with questions, Sesshomaru had given Inuyasha what he needed at the time of his end.
Quietly, Sesshomaru stayed by Inuyasha’s side until the very end.
He intended to bury Inuyasha nearby Toga’s side, so the father and son pair could bond in the afterlife.
“ i’m not the sort of person to fuss over hurt feelings. you’re either of value to me, or you’re worthless. so prove to me that you’re not the latter. ” [from Nai]
❝ Nai...? ❞
Had Vash heard correctly? Did Knives really say he had to be valuable to him or else it was nothing? Was that how he saw him? A mere tool? No, he didn't mean that, did he? He was his brother, his only family.
But he was feeling completely useless.
No matter how many times he saved, no matter how many times he helped, no matter how many times he walked by himself, the problems remained. They kept repeating themselves over and over again.
No, he did not want to fall into despair.
❝ Well you DID even if you do NOT care! Stop with your nonsense and let's talk NOW! ❞ Was he angry? Was he frustrated? Maybe it was both.
