This was written in 2019. No other comment. 🙃
(A commercial is being filmed for Dos Equis. It is structured like the commercial, with scenes of the man montaged with unrelated narration over them.)
A man shakes a realtor’s hand in front of a SOLD sign, which sits in the yard of a small home
A man walks out of a doctor’s office, and holds up a bill with ‘Insurance covered it!’ written on it in big letters
A man lays on his couch on his phone. A calendar on the wall has DAY OFF written on a holiday in the month
“He doesn’t have to worry about whether he’ll be able to eat each day!”
“A company offered him a living wage without him have to ask for it!”
“He’s able to tell the difference between a racist joke and a non-racist one!”
“Baristas always get his name right”
“Jeff Bezos personally delivers his amazon packages”
“He was able to go through an entire public school career and see a movie without becoming a victim of a mass shooting!” (note: this may be too dark, but I’m salty)
“He is the most interesting millennial in the world.”
(Cut to a bar. The man is sitting around with a group of friends at a table.)
MAN: I don’t always drink beer, because I don’t need it to dull my senses to the pain of life like the rest of my friends!
FRIEND: (crying while smiling) I work three jobs and live with 5 roommates in a 2 bedroom apartment!
MAN: But when I do, I drink Dos Equis.
(another friend passes out on the table. The MAN toasts his glass)
MAN: Stay alive, my friends.
