#this year is just...

[notfa-mousyet]

Anyone else boop first and then reads the post after it? It feels so weird to do the silly little thing just to find out that the post was about the Flour Massacre or something like that.

[luciddreamer326]

I’ve got nowhere else to put this, but I am really in my feels and need to vent it all out into the ether I guess.

In the last few years or so, I’ve come to terms with my sexuality. I am a bi woman. Forever, I felt embarassed by it. I was ashamed. The fact that I found women beautiful also? Something must be wrong with me.

My life, right now, just feels like going through the motions most days. I feel like a shell. I have to hide who I am. I can’t tell anyone. A select few, whom I really trust, know though. So one of those select few gave someone he knows my number. She texted. She seemed great. I WANTED to get to know her. I knew going in though that both our situations were less than ideal, but I still felt alive texting her. My first actual flirting back and forth with someone I was attracted to of the same gender. YEARS I’d had to stuff that down and it was happening. My eyes felt open. I found myself wanting to hear from her every second of every day.

But she just texted and said we have to stop talking. And I’m stupidly, irrationally, kind of heartbroken? Even though I knew this could happened, I still feel like I’ve been punched in the chest. Ugh. I just wanted to feel SOMETHING good. Something with someone who is maybe like me. Ugh again.