then i'll scream.

You didn't always sing it R I G H T, but who could call you wrong? You put your emptiness to melody - your a w f u l HEART to song. You don't have to sing it nice, but honey sing it S T R O N G ! S O — H O N E Y — S I N G

[terrycassidy]

ofmagikandlimbo‌:

“Other red- right Jean” maybe she was a little drunker than she’d first thought, definitely enough that she shouldn’t teleport, not that it had stopped her though. “I ran into a knife, or a dagger, I don’t know” Illyana shrugged, wincing slightly as the movement of her shoulder caused the dagger to shift, pain spreading from the wound through her. “More accurately, I teleported into it” she said, her words were a little slurred but not enough to be hard to understand.

Terry looked at the wound again, a frown on her face as Illyana told her what happened --- what she could remember of it at least. “Are you... are you drunk?” Terry wasn’t sure, but she had a feeling that Illyana was fresh back from Limbo and experiencing life again... she wasn’t going to be making the best choices. “You teleported --- Illyana.” Terry pinched the bridge of her nose before putting an arm around Illyana’s shoulders, “Let’s get you into a chair. I need to get a better look --- and we need to clean it.”

[terrycassidy]

jameslogans‌:

(✉️ ➡️ My girl): Why do you feel like a potato?  (✉️ ➡️ My girl): You’re a sexy potato bread, though, darlin’.  (✉️ ➡️ My girl): I love you, bread girl.  (✉️ ➡️ My girl): I always have time for you.  (✉️ ➡️ My girl): You want the whole day, babe? 

(✉️ ➡️ casanova ): i just want to do so many things (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): and i can’t do anything but /sit here/  (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): love you too, paper towel man (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): you sure? i’m not being too needy? (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): i’m being too needy aren’t i (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): james no (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): i mean yes but it doesn’t need to be the whole day

[terrycassidy]

solarsunspots‌:

(✉️ ➡️ screamer): how do you live with them, terry? it’s disgusting. i’m disgusted, and i’m not even there. (✉️ ➡️ screamer): wow, one whole shower! that may be a record for him. (✉️ ➡️ screamer): for once in my life? theresa, i have never been wrong. (✉️ ➡️ screamer): standards? you’re dating an elderly man who has definitely lived in a cave for at least one ten year period and wears exclusively plaid. are ‘standards’ really what drove you to that?

(✉️ ➡️ rich idiot ): rent is free so (✉️ ➡️ rich idiot ): i mean where else am i going to get a deal like that? (✉️ ➡️ rich idiot ): unless you want to be my sugar daddy (✉️ ➡️ rich idiot ): i could use my own place, great view, too many bedrooms... (✉️ ➡️ rich idiot ): might be, i try not to keep track. i don’t want to be disgusted (✉️ ➡️ rich idiot ): it’s cute that you believe that  (✉️ ➡️ rich idiot ): he’s got a pulse, i’m surprised you haven’t ridden that ride yet! 

[terrycassidy]

Send ‘bored’ to receive a disinterested text from my muse.  

@shattcrs

(✉️ ➡️ astronomical boy ): star i am bored out of my mind (✉️ ➡️ astronomical boy ): i really thought “starting a family will be great” and “a baby will be great” (✉️ ➡️ astronomical boy ): but i can’t do /anything/ (✉️ ➡️ astronomical boy ): i just want to SCREAM  (✉️ ➡️ astronomical boy ): i want to FIGHT (✉️ ➡️ astronomical boy ): what the fuck am i supposed to do

[...] (✉️ ➡️ astronomical boy ): star do you want to throw water balloons at the xmen?

[terrycassidy]

Send ‘tired’ to receive a slow/sleepy text from my muse.

@twentyninetynines  

(✉️ ➡️ "mike” ): [unsent] i keep thinking abou (✉️ ➡️ "mike” ): [unsent] no i don’t to push you into a (✉️ ➡️ "mike” ): it’s one of those ‘can’t sleep nights’ (✉️ ➡️ "mike” ): you know, the kind where your mind wanders to the worst places?

[...] (✉️ ➡️ "mike” ): if i watch another documentary i’m going to start breaking shit

[...] (✉️ ➡️ "mike” ): you think it’s too late to go out to eat? 

[terrycassidy]

echoingloneliness‌:

They met in a meeting. The only reason that Karen knew Terry was because of one of the various meetings that they had attended together. Karen tried her best to stay in the back and go unnoticed. She tried to pretend like she wasn’t there at all. Terry noticed her. Somehow they’d struck up a friendship. If you called a meeting and coffee friendship. It wasn’t. Was it? 

“What?” Karen scoffed, a harsh laugh leaving her lips. She needed to be harsh if she wanted to get her point across. If she wanted Terry to leave her alone like everyone else eventually had. “You think because you were addicted to alcohol and because I’m addicted to drugs that you know me? You think because we attended a couple of meetings together that you know me? You don’t know the first thing about me. We’re not friends. You don’t know me.” 

Terry bit down on her tongue. Karen was talking about Terry’s addiction like it was in the past --- but it never really went away. And Karen had no idea that Terry had relapsed, did she? Why would she? It wasn’t like Karen was Terry’s first call when she picked up the bottle... no, she called everyone else, except someone who might have been able to help her. (But she had never expected this from Karen. For her own shit to be dismissed so easily.) “Right,” Terry murmured. But she didn’t lash out. Terry managed to keep that to herself, which was harder than normal with her emotions constantly frayed. 

“I don’t need to know everything about you to know what you're doing right now,” Terry said, keeping her voice steady. “You’re pushing me away... and I doubt I’m the only one you’ve tried to shove out of your life.” Addiction was complicated, and Terry had been in this a long time, felt a lot of things --- witnessed a lot of them. And nothing was more common than pushing away people that cared about you. Terry took a seat and made herself comfortable. “I’m not going anywhere. Ask anyone --- I’m stubborn.” 

[terrycassidy]

jameslogans‌:

He didn’t know what the hell he was doing. He’d never been good at this. Logan didn’t know how to be a good boyfriend. Had he ever even been one before? He sure as hell didn’t know how to be a father. Okay, maybe that was a lie. He’d taken care of kids before at the mansion. He’d taken in Ric and Anna Marie like they were his own. But a baby? He wasn’t sure that it was the same. He tried not to think about it at that particular moment. He didn’t want to freak out in front of Terry. He didn’t want to make her anymore nervous than she already was. This was good. This was what they wanted. 

“Are you ready for this?” He relayed her question back to her with a smile, before nodding in response. “Yeah, babe, I got you. We’ll get through it. I’m practically invincible,” he teased her lowly. He wasn’t sure that he was completely ready, but he knew that they’d figure it out. There were a lot worse people out there who were parents. They weren’t half-bad. 

Logan pressed a kiss to Terry’s forehead and pressed a hand to her flat abdomen, before meeting her gaze. He thought about the question for a moment, before replying, “Whenever you’re ready. We’ll do whatever you want. It’s up to you. You don’t have to listen to anyone else, darlin’.” He paused, his heart sinking when she mentioned Ric. Logan knew that he wasn’t going to be fond of the idea. He knew that Ric was going to hate it. He paused for a moment, before answering, “Yeah. If that’s what you want, you can tell him. He’s just… I don’t think he’s going to be happy, Ter.” 

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Terry murmured, but there was a smile on her face. Underneath all the initial panic and the fear and the tears --- she was happy. Ready? Probably not, but they had time to get ready. She took in a deep breath, pulling herself back from the ledge she had been on. Everything was starting to make sense though, the reason her emotions kept flipping around, the reason she was so sad and angry and frustrated at Logan even though he had really done nothing wrong. At least there was an explanation. (Not at least she was aware.) She closed her eyes and though about it, about what he had said. He was invincible. That should have given her some peace, but she found a weight on her chest again. “Well then,” Terry murmured. “I apologize for all future murder attempts,” she quipped. Terry was sure that she’d lose her mind a few times, especially since she was already freaking out on him... it would only keep going from here, wouldn’t it? 

“It’s supposed to be bad luck to tell people early but...” Terry shrugged slightly. “I don’t really want to keep it a secret. Rather them hear it from us than realize it because my close start fitting funny.” Looking him in the eyes, she saw the shift when she mentioned Ric, that flurry of worry, and Terry felt it immediately too. “I know,” she said in a whisper. Their relationship came with all sorts of twists and turns, being who they were and the people that were close to their hearts. But Ric was close to both of theirs. “I know he won’t be.” She knew. Ric was already in a bad place, already dealing with his own problems and while this wasn’t an issue... it was a stressor. This would change their dynamic forever. And how would Ric react to that? Terry doubted that he’d be wrapping his arms around her and telling her he was excited to be an uncle --- that was the dream, but the reality was so much different. “He’s my best friend,” Terry murmured. “I want him to hear it from me.” 

[mostingeniusparadox]

X-Factor #15

[terrycassidy]

supersxn‌:

It was stupid. He felt stupid. Jon knew he shouldn’t be this upset over a breakup, but he felt a lot. When he felt something, he felt it with every fiber of his being. He never half-assed anything, it was always all in or nothing. Maybe that was his problem. Feeling too much when the other person didn’t feel nearly as much. It left him with an aching heart and the urge to never leave bed again. At least for awhile anyways. He was doing just that, attempting to make sure he ate and do some homework in between his hurt. Each breath felt labored, like pushing through never ending icy water. Idly, Jon wondered if this was what it was like to be vulnerable, to be able to get hurt. To give someone the power to hurt him was like handing over kryptonite and not expecting agonizing pain in the end. Maybe he had too much faith in people. A voice in the back of his mind that sounded entirely too much like Ric chastised him for ‘being too optimistic’. 

The knock on his front door was a surprise. Jon forced himself to sit up and move to go answer the door the more insistent the knocking got. “I’m coming!” He finally called after the knocking wouldn’t stop and was very much on the verge of giving him sensory overload. Unlocking the front door, he yanked it open and faltered at the sight of Terry before him. He sure was he was quite the pathetic sight in his basketball shorts and hoodie with the hood pulled over his mess of curls. “Oh. Uh, hi.” He said awkwardly and shifted to the side to let Terry in. “Everything okay? Are you okay?” Jon asked off the bat instead of drawing attention to the clear elephant in the room: him. 

Terry had texted Jon several times over the last few days, and each time she was met with delivered. (And eventually, read.) But no reply. The first time, she had decided it wasn’t a big deal, that Jon was probably busy and it slipped his mind to reply to her, but after her last string of heart emojis had gone unanswered, Terry was... she didn’t know what. Erik had told her that her acting crazy was something that would pick up and Logan looked like he was scared that she’d snap at any moment --- and maybe this was her snapping. She wanted to see Jon. See his face, hear his voice, know that he had a pulse. Terry wasn’t his mother, she kept reminding herself, he didn’t have tor reply to every message... but everything she was telling herself, every little bit that made sense only pushed her further. And it didn’t stop until she as hammering on Jon’s door. 

“You know you had me really ---” worried. Terry stopped though, the scolding dying on the tip of her tongue as she looked at him. “Hey kid,” Terry murmured, cursing herself for not realizing sooner. Jon was always social, ready to scream a the top of his lungs on the top of a building just like her... she should have known something was wrong. And she should have brought a few pints of ice cream to help him drown whatever sorrow he was feeling. “I’m better, now that I know you’re alive and kicking.” Terry stepped into his apartment, “I’m fine, you know, pregnant and starving but at the same time hating everything that looks resembles food --- I thought about mochi today, it’s this weird ice cream that’s wrapped in dough and the taste sounds amazing but the texture is freaking me out and I don’t even have any.” Terry immediately turned toward him, a hand reaching for his. “What happened, Jon?” 

[terrycassidy]

goddamnjessicajones‌:

Did he want to fix it? she wondered. Or did he only think he wanted to? The questions were racing through her mind, the ones she’d asked herself a thousand times, over and over, but she never had come up with a clear answer. “Nice isn’t isn’t my strong suit,” Jessica said simply, eyes narrowing as the woman came into view. “And I’m not giving you a dime. That’s not how this works.” 

She inhaled sharply and stepped forward. “You recognize this man?” she asked, pulling a crumpled picture of her client out of her pocket. “Because he’s got some pretty wild stories about you. The words ‘Persian rug,’ ringing a bell here?” 

“Well, you’re going to be real disappointed in this exchange then.” Not that Terry would have cooperated either way, but for a few dollars? She would have at least pretended not to be a wall. But then this woman pulled a photo out of her pocket, one of the man that Logan had almost gotten into a fistfight with.

Terry looked the woman in the eyes and shrugged her shoulders. “I dated a guy that loved Persian rugs. I mean, really grossly obsessed. But he was also super hot so it made up for all the weird shit that he was into,” Terry rambled on, not answering the other woman’s question intentionally. “If that’s him, yikes, he really let himself go.” 

[terrycassidy]

outlawe‌:

His expression softens, letting the defensive tone of his disappear. Roy might have been too quick to piece together his words. Whoever this woman is? It was obvious that Jon cares about her, otherwise she wouldn’t be trusted to be in his place. If they’re both looking after the boy Roy was more surprised that they haven’t met before now.  “Hey — WAIT!” He reaches out, but doesn’t touch her. It was just a gesture, wanting to give her the complete story. “I’d like to explain the situation.” His arm drops down to his side, not sure where to start. He would be honest, that’s all one should be.

“I don’t think you’re no one. I’m not his birth father. I should have clarified that, but I’ve come to think of Jon as a son.” Nobody could ever replace Clark and Lois — the redhead knew that deep down, but ever since they’ve come to this world it has just sort of happened by slipping into a fatherly role with the boy.  “Jon and I are from the same universe. We both got displaced from it, and when I found out that he was here I just wanted to be there for him. I feel old sometimes because I remember when the kid was born because I used to work with Superman back on our world.” He nervously pushes his hands through his red curls.

“I’m glad you’re in his life. He’s a good kid, one of the best, and deserves to be surrounded by so much love. It actually makes me really happy seeing him starting to form a life here. So, thank you. Please stay? I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot, but I do want to get to know you.” His gaze looks at the cake she left on the counter. He has a feeling they’ll be seeing a lot more of each other now. “We should team up to do some meal planning for him. What do you think?”

Terry paused, her hand on the handle of the door, wondering if she should bother? She kept her head turned away from this man, quietly wondering if this was how Ric felt when he thought she was replacing him? But in this case --- Terry was the replacement, and she had just been shown the door. Or maybe she was just showing herself out before this got any worse. But that need to run, to just leave... it was strong. “It didn’t really seem like you wanted to have a conversation,” Terry said quietly. Not that she blamed him. She didn’t really want to speak to him either. Especially with the way he had just spoken. But she stayed, arms crossed and still close to the door, just in case.

She stayed quiet, and distant as Roy spoke. Torn between wanting to know what was happening here and being uncomfortable enough that she wasn’t sure if she had a right to know. The pieces started to fall into place, another person that was from another universe that had found their way here. It was good --- Jon needed people he knew, just as much as he needed people here. “I’m sorry that you’re going through that too.” Terry might not have jumped universes --- but she understood what it was like to be ripped from everything you knew. To be forced into a new life, to have nothing and no one. And that was what had drawn her to Jon at first --- after throwing herself in front of a blade for him, she listened to him and found that he was like her. And the rest of her friends. A heart of gold but adrift at sea. 

There was a long beat where Terry was still standing at the door, but she finally stepped away. “Terry Cassidy. I... jumped in front of a blade for our invincible kid.” And she would have done it again, even if she knew he wouldn’t be hurt --- she couldn’t explain it. But she would. Terry couldn't deny feeling strange --- awkward --- but this man was asking her to stay and Terry owed it to Jon to try. He deserved that much. To have people try for him. “You think he’d stick with a meal plan? Or send us sad faces until we showed up with another pizza?” Terry quipped, a small smile on her face before she shrugged. “I’m sorry. It’s just... been a really long week and the last thing I wanted to deal with was another surprise.”

[terrycassidy]

jameslogans‌:

(✉️ ➡️ My girl): But you need to sleep, darlin’. (✉️ ➡️ My girl): Sleeping and eating is good for the baby.  (✉️ ➡️ My girl): We can talk. (✉️ ➡️ My girl): What do you want to talk about?  (✉️ ➡️ My girl): Anything. 

(✉️ ➡️ casanova ): i know. but i don’t /want/ to. :(  (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): i feel like a potato (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): like a loaf of potato bread (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): i’m not even toasty (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): i’m a sad, moldy piece of bread (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): you have time to do lunch tomorrow? (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): [unsent] idk i just really miss you

[rp-musings]

pvaglader:

                              he’s broken, but you love him anyway                               not  because   you   want   to  fix  him,                               but  because,  he’s the only one  who                               knows you’re just  as broken as  him.

[terrycassidy]

@jameslogans

[terrycassidy]

jameslogans‌:

(✉️ ➡️ My girl): I’m not all talk.  (✉️ ➡️ My girl): I’m into this challenge, babe. I can hold out.  (✉️ ➡️ My girl - unsent): fucking ksjdflksdjflkdsjf (✉️ ➡️ My girl): Two can play this game.  (✉️ ➡️ My girl): image.jpg (✉️ ➡️ My girl): What willpower was that, darlin’? 

(✉️ ➡️ casanova ): really? because you were talking about being a top a while ago (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): you never showed me  (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): so... (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): you really think so? (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): oh? (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): oh (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): you know what? i’m going to take this as a win (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): i got you out of your clothes impressively fast and i’m not even there in person

[terrycassidy]

jameslogans‌:

(✉️ ➡️ My girl): How can I help, darlin’?  […] (✉️ ➡️ My girl): You need to sleep.  (✉️ ➡️ My girl): You’re growing another human, babe. Of course you’re going to be tired.  (✉️ ➡️ My girl): I’ll be here when you wake up.     

(✉️ ➡️ casanova ): but i don’t want to sleep :( (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): all i do is sleep now (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): sleep and eat (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): but babe :( (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): i wanna talk to you now :(  (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): :( :( :( 

[terrycassidy]

jameslogans‌:

(✉️ ➡️ My girl): Oh, I’ll punish you, babe.  (✉️ ➡️ My girl): Are you challenging me? Because I can hold out. I have willpower.  (✉️ ➡️ My girl): How long can you go without being touched?  

(✉️ ➡️ casanova ): you’re all talk, james (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): scared you can’t live up to my expectations? (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): or are you /really/ into this challenge? (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): image.jpg [ have another one! ] (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): why have willpower when you can have this? (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): i can wait a long time if i know you’re coming for me 

[terrycassidy]

Send ‘tired’ to receive a slow/sleepy text from my muse.

@jameslogans 

(✉️ ➡️ casanova ): have you ever been so tired that you can’t sleep? because i

[...] (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): i feel asleep :/ (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): i’m so sleepy but i don’t /want/ to sleep (✉️ ➡️ casanova ): :( i want to talk to you