thebrokenace

• every heart has it's secret sorrows which the world knows not, and offen times we call a man cold, when he is only sad... •

[meii061]

wammy if

[thisisfullofcringe]

ok i was looking through my reference pins and though of what's obvious

the reference in question:

[fh-999]

君とは初めて会った気がしなかった。

[pronoun-note]

[intjgodcomplex]

Who would've thought death note has a the office moment

[unalivenote]

literally the BEST parts of death note are where lights like

[craetor]

I truly wonder how long Light would have wanted to keep being Kira if he hadn't happened upon L.

As much as I do buy his sentiment that "the world needs to be fixed", one must also recognize that, just like L, his motivation isn't just to do what's right, but to harvest intellectual stimulation and alleviate his general boredom by taking on this holier-than-thou task to reap a superior reward that down-to-earth undertakings could never provide.

We do see, however, how an absolute air of mundane monotony and tedium has surrounded him after the timeskip; after L's passing. It cannot be what he wished for when he began using the death note and it's a far cry from the excitement and the challenge that filled his everyday life when L was with him. It gives me the impression that L inspires Light to act in exceptionally vigorous ways that cause him to take on baggage without further consideration for the future (a future where there is no L to make this baggage an exciting challenge, that is, tolerable any longer). Take, for example, the first time Light ever learns about L and writes Lind L. Tailor's name in the death note without even considering that it might be a trap. L just knows what buttons to push. Even though Mello & Near relight that spark a little bit, you can see the annoyances and encumbrances that have accumulated up until that point absolutely interfering with the little excitement L's relics bring him. The point this sticks out especially well and the main reason I don't think Light would've lasted long without L (as in several years) would be when Light finally snaps and yells at Misa to shut up after losing the death note to Mello. In a world without L, he would have still chosen to keep close watch of Misa, and while his life trajectory might've been closer to what Mikami enjoyed with the death note, it would not have been even half as fun after years of doing the same shtick, basically unchallenged by anyone and having no truly riveting presence to make the burdens worth it.

What excites Light about the death note is not the murder itself (in fact, the only reason he has few qualms about using it is because it is impersonal and totally removed from the reality of actually killing someone), but the moral superiority of proving his point; of holding someone accountable. What fun would it be if the world just fell in line, with nobody to question his authority or, in other words: make him reaffirm his moral superiority? After the world would gradually fall in line to his new world order, Light would get bored and either be miserable living a lie, if Ryuk didn't kill him due to his own boredom, or declare the God of The New World project finished and move on to something interesting, having gathered only as much baggage as he can carry, not having made any spur-of-the-moment decisions like he did because of L, and easily dropping the weight he strategically and logically accumulated, leaving it behind.

[xx-r0t-dot-com-xx]

btw my current hc for Watari and L is that ever since Watari acquired him, he's more or less treated L as an adult. not in a cruel or thoughtless way - it's what a mind like L's needed, and benefited from. He never wanted L to feel talked down to. and L was never a child that seemed to need or want emotional attention, so he never thought to extend it any more than was necessary. That would just be belittling him. Watari also knows he doesn't need to worry about L. L is more than capable. Really, he should be worried about any of the other children L interacts with. L is unlike any of the other children he's ever raised. He values L, he is impressed by L, but he does not see him as something that needs to be nurtured, except for maybe his mind. One might not exactly call the way Watari interacted with this child as "raising" him. More like "tending to".

This arrangement continues into adulthood. Watari tends to L's basic needs, but they are ultimately business partners. Not parent and child. Surely.

Its only almost 20 years later, when things are going to shit, that Watari at all is realizing, for the first time, maybe much too late, that, oh my God. ohh no. thats my baby

dont misunderstand me though - all that is to say that they developed that emotional support, connection, and family dynamic without acknowledging or realizing it. Watari does his best and L is safe and supported with him. thats papa. its just never come up until it was too late

[xx-r0t-dot-com-xx]

watari is really really interesting to me i think hes super underutilized & underexplored and i know he is just a plot device to explain why L who is clearly NOT self sufficient hasnt starved to death yet but it is interesting to me that you can really portray him so many ways. because his whole character is essentially based on everyone else's accounts of him. we dont really see him do much of anything himself, make his own decisions, do his own thing. and depending on who your favourite Wammy kid is you might even hate him genuinely. he is his relationships to other people and nothing else

anyway me personally i think he really does care about L, but L is his darling golden child and he neglects everybody else for it. but why do i also somehow feel like he wouldnt continue falling all over himself to take care of L if he suddenly stopped being useful... ? dont know. anyway thats my two cents. if it feels like im confused in my portrayal of watari thats cuz i AM ! what are you playing at old man

[oghostfucker]

I always thought that watari just did everything L told him to without questioning him, which is why this chapter surprised me

In the anime he calls him out a bit more sternly, but he still seems to do what he thinks is right even if it means interrupting Ls "test"

Also i love Ls response loll

[craetor]

Analysis of L's inner conflict between passion and stoicism, using Mello & Near's rivalry as a motive

To begin, the fact that L could never choose between Mello – someone inherently passionate and unpredictable – and Near, whom Wammy's House efficiently groomed to be absolutely calm and objective about everything, instead half unseriously suggesting the person who is an almost perfect mirror of him, Light, to succeed him instead, is the most telling indicator for the existence of this conflict to me.

Mello and Near are L's personality split into the factors of his inner conflict and personified. Near is the half that is most efficient as a detective, which is why, in the eyes of Wammy's as an institution that makes profit off of L's detective work, he is their magnum opus. Near is the one who caught Kira after Mello (L's emotionality) literally sacraficed himself to help him acheive it. Near is the perfect detective, but Near is not L. In fact, without Mello in his life, we see from the Oneshot Special that Near deteriorates significantly. We see L derive great pleasure from doing detective work (only doing cases he's "interested in" and visibly loving his feud with Kira), which Near clearly lacks unless Mello (or Light, who still carries L's exact emotional composition in him that Near can feed off of) is involved.

The sole fact that Near would by Mello's self-admittance be considered a better successor to L by what Wammy's House taught him about who L is supposed to be (remember, in L's eyes they were of equal worth. He could not decide between them) it could be assumed that the same standards that bothered Mello (L's emotional side) were resting upon L himself.

Some may argue the panel where L shakes after Aizawa shouts at him over his cold reaction to Ukita's death was that L had an issue with Aizawa putting his hands on him, but I would argue that L is someone who genuinely cares about and values human lives (which, despite his physical distance to cases he works on, is something he's learned through his work after constant contact with extremely personal matters of some cases and getting close to the people involved like Naomi Misora, as well as having to empathize or at least sympathize well with the subjects of his cases to predict their next moves or figure out the causes of things that have already transpired) (it is also the entire plot point of L Change The World might I add) and that he did his best to stay logical as was required of him, but his sorrow and fear over the revelations taking place around him in that moment simply overwhelmed him as to where he could not push them away fully.

"I understand your feelings, but please control yourself right now." Control himself like he is trying to, hence he does understand? I feel like the phrasing here could be quite the projection of what's happening in L's head at that moment.

The sole fact that Mello and Near are made to fight each other by Wammy's House due to their character traits that mirror L's directly indicates what kind of expectations were put on L to be a master detective, and their terminal desire to compete with each other to be the best they can be (living up to L) signals that L himself voluntarily held those expectations for himself as well, probably to both feed his ego by succeeding at his job, as well as his want to do his duty well. As Kira once said: "Somebody has to do this[...] I was the only one who could![...] [It's] the purpose given to me![...] Who else could have done it and come this far?" I like comparing the two of them in every aspect, down to their motivations because in the end, they were fighting for who was righteous in doing the same thing differently. They're just beautiful like that. Mello and Near's rivalry and what causes it is a direct imprint of L's inner conflict between being a person who feels things very strongly and is quite childish in how that manifests and a spaced-out, dead-eyed super brain whose might to restrain those intense emotions and desires allows him to appear cold and immovable in order to do his 'job', that completely consumes every aspect if his life, well. Just like his successors were made to believe their life purpose is to become L, L's life purpose was to remain L. To fight the Mello inside of him and only utilize him when it's advantageous to do so. L likes Kira because challenging him allows him to unleash his Mello more than he has ever before, because Light's Mello is taking the lead. And where Mello thrives, Near thrives; L thrives. L cannot be without it.

[kiyomitakada]

実際 何度死ぬかと思ったか… honestly, how many times have i thought i was going to die…?

(it's in casual register unlike the polite register he usually uses) (which means it's less polished) (like he's mumbling to himself)

[13eyond13]

do you think L would be a jealous/possessive boyfriend?

If he was really into them then probably yes, but he would REALLY not want to show it, I think? I feel one of the things he'd be proudest about is displaying jealousy and possessiveness, as in he'd be really reluctant to seem desperate or needy or obvious about that. You'd have to know him well and read between the lines of what he's saying and doing to pick up on it. I could see him acting a lot like he does whenever Light's got his memories back and the two of them are going back and forth over whether or not Light is genuinely interested in Misa or free to come and go whenever he wants or whatever... L is TRYING very hard to seem nonchalant, but it isn't working very well, and he's also grilling Light like crazy in a very non-casual manner as well, ahahaha

I could also see L being very passive-aggressive about something that bothered him and actually telling the person to please carry on with whatever the behaviour was that was making him feel jealous, sort of like this:

I don't know if he'd even be 100% aware that he was feeling jealous either. He's PRETTY self-aware, but I think he spends most of his time examining other people's emotions and behaviour rather than contemplating his own, and he probably hasn't ever had a ton of intimate relationships to navigate before.

[the-color-blue]

I've been seeing a lot of posts on TikTok recently joking about L canonically being a billionaire but still dressing like a bum...

But it's my headcanon that he doesn't even really know exactly how much money he has. He doesn't care. Watari handles all the finances and purchases. L just focuses on solving cases and eating sweets.

[meii061]

[meii061]

[xx-r0t-dot-com-xx]

fanon L will be depicted like "he has MONEY and INFLUENCE and STATUS and RESPECT and world organizations BEND to his every WILL he is POWERFUL everybody LISTENS TO HIM" and meanwhile canon L immediately got told to kick rocks by every single world organization. they considered getting L onto the case and everybody groaned. when the 12 fbi agents died the fbi completely blamed L for it and withdrew their support and basically told him to go die

[xx-r0t-dot-com-xx]

pretty L propaganda because im tired of the slander. he has that beauty reserved for those melancholy and haunted. he should be caught staring listlessly out a window by a passerby on the street who subsequently falls irrevocably in love. do you understand what I'm saying

[oghostfucker]

I have been unwell so he needs to be unwell too