Yet again in the zone of feeling like this is all I'll ever be.
The world is just really scary sometimes, seeing all these people who are so high up there, being capable of achieving things that feel so far out of reach for someone like me. And it's just... how will I ever get there? The me who can't help but make stupid mistakes, the me who is still so socially awkward, the me who doesn't even seem to have any 'potential' to show.
But they say to always end such statements with the word 'yet'. It feels like the toughest fight to just believe in myself. But it's a fight I have to win, or learn to win. The comforting thing is that this fight is not a single, decisive fight. I can lose from Monday-Saturday, but I can also be winner on Sunday. Even if my victories are few or rare, they are mine, and they can happen again.
There's this part of me still fighting, headstrong. A small part, but it's there. It's like a brave little girl. It reminds me that any idea close to 'there's zero hope' is ridiculous. And me thinking that this is all there is to life when I haven't truly, truly seen the world is crazy. So just for now, I'll still fight.

















