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Peter Solarz
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Today's Document
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Origami Around
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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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JVL
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Three Goblin Art
h
KIROKAZE
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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@tomatowielder
things are getting better (I think) but for the past two years I’ve been in a fluctuating amount of pain, & sometimes after a severe pain flare it feels odd to come back to my life - like, what was I doing? what were my concerns? how did I fill my time, what did I hope for, etc?
anyway, even though they’re kicking my ass at the moment, it feels soothing to have my differential equations class be a constant. always there to come back to
I’ve been doing really well with bladder stuff recently. So far I’ve managed to get myself down to just the expected hormonal flares (ovulation & just before period flares seem kind of unavoidable so far)
Physiotherapy & actually sticking to cutting out caffeine (which has been *hard*) seem to be paying off
my pain hasn’t necessarily been better but I’ve been dealing with it better. it feels a bit easier to live alongside
FETCH ME NEIL
I have really obvious eczema atm all over my eyelids, between my eyes & eyebrow, and under my eyes - people at work have been asking me about it regularly for about a month so I know it’s not in my head that it’s noticeable
want to go to the gym today but the more I’m asked about it & the more I can’t fix it the more I don’t want to have to go outside & be perceived
OK so it’s nearly exam season (ish - exams are 5th & 6th of June which is enough to make me go into “oh shit” study mode)
Monday & Tuesday are my proper days off where I’m not working & my partner isn’t in the house so they are my serious study days
I ended up getting 90% dark chocolate (that I haven’t had for years and years I usually only eat milk chocolate) w/o thinking and it is like someone poured acid on my bladder. I’m not usually food sensitive (only to caffeine & soy & artificial sweeteners) so I don’t think about these things. the pain I am experiencing right now my lord
anyway instead of pushing myself to try to study I’ve instead had All The Medication, cannabis, and I’m watching documentaries & not giving myself a hard time about it
Waterfall
PDEs have been a nightmare today. I am hopeful I’ll crack them tomorrow
my amitriptyline got upped & I started on this new supplement & my pain has been so low recently. pain spikes aren’t spiking half as hard and I’ve had days with no pain or symptoms whatsoever
no idea if this will last or be a long term trend but so incredibly grateful atm
i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake
fabulous
i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.
#HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY
fourier series are breaking me
I GOT ALL THE STATISTICS ASSIGNMENTS FOR THIS YEAR DONE!!!! just have to prepare for the exam now 😬
I did some more work today!! combination of music while studying, reducing pomodoro times to 15 mins, matcha, & having a to do list that shows daily goals only so I don’t think about the picture seems to be working
relieved that Doing Work is occurring after being stuck in a procrastination rut so long
I’ve just discovered matcha & todays studying took substantially less effort
(I’m also trying to take goals day by day rather than thinking about The Big Picture which freaks me out)
I am kind of frustrated by my like… lack of ability to be interested in things?
like, I’m interested in the idea of things (e.g. “wouldn’t it be cool to know how trains work/how to fix computers/how anatomy works” etc etc), but then when I start actually doing the thing I get bored & lose interest so quickly & never come back to it
the only thing I consistently enjoy atm is exercise (running, swimming, etc) but then the rest of the time I can’t actually sustain interest in anything
it’s making education tricky (really difficult to motivate myself to start tasks & stay focused on them), though I’m really proud of how the last few days have gone & im gonna stick with it
but it also means that apart from exercise I have no hobbies or interests or way to fill my time or career goals
I am kind of frustrated by my like… lack of ability to be interested in things?
like, I’m interested in the idea of things (e.g. “wouldn’t it be cool to know how trains work/how to fix computers/how anatomy works” etc etc), but then when I start actually doing the thing I get bored & lose interest so quickly & never come back to it
the only thing I consistently enjoy atm is exercise (running, swimming, etc) but then the rest of the time I can’t actually sustain interest in anything
