The Inevitable
So the inevitable happened to me last week...I failed. I set out to do something with great expectations and a bullet proof plan and...still failed. The reason I consider failing inevitable is quite simple...when you are trying, you don't always succeed the first time. In fact, the best success is built on a mountain of failed attempts. My most recent failure was a small success as well. I am the type of person where my goals have goals. My main goal was/is to be consistent with movement each day - that means at whatever costs. Each day the movement can look different depending on what my body tells me it needs most that day. For that goal, I am succeeding with flying colors. But inside that goal is another more pointed goal - ruck 50 miles in 30 days. This has been my goal twice now and twice I have fallen short. I did a challenge which involved rucking 1 mile everyday and upping weight each week - cool. In that I set a goal to end at 20# and ended at 30# - cool. BUT I set a goal inside that to reach 50 miles during that challenge...I finished at 41.89 miles when the challenge officially ended - OUCH! I saw a clear picture of where I could have pushed more here or given more there so I set the goal yet again. This time there was another new challenge on top of that one - SPECIFICALLY SET FOR 50 MILES IN 30 DAYS! I could hear the angels singing - “Jenna, here is your chance!” Welp, I started well but was still hurting from the first challenge that was more “challenging” than I previously thought it would be -- more mental than physical...but then, aren't those one in the same? So here I was at the starting line, semi stalling out. I knew there would be ground to make up on the backend as I allowed my mind and body to recover so I set the pace and set a clear line to get to my goal. Each week I modified as needed and added in PT (which I have always resisted since injury) to help me meet my miles when my body or mind said “ENOUGH”. Thus I began doing PT 3-5 times a week because 20 minutes of PT = 1 mile per the challenge rules. I began setting a new plan to add one long ruck to help offset the days I rested and did some type of recovery exercise. Then, like it wanted me to fail, my body gave out. I started having EXTREME migraines and my body went so tight I wasn't able to do anything to untangle the web. Getting out of the bed was difficult, focusing at work was difficult, being around others was difficult...let alone working out. So, I started trading rucks for chiropractic appointments and medicine. I removed all 20# and just rucked with consumables to help with the recovery. At the end, you probably guessed, I fell short of the 50 miles...by 4 miles. WTF! You mean I can have a rock solid plan, revisit and revise it regularly, be focused, want it and still fail? YEP! What is interesting about this particular failure is it came with a lot of success. I have needed to begin PT again for my own mental clarity. I truly love to pick things up and put (throw) them down. It helps clear out my agitation, aggression and pure rage some days. I used to pretend to be a little ray of sunshine all the time but the truth is I have deep rooted anger from multiple deep rooted traumas. I am sunshine sometimes but a lot of the time I am in processing mode and need to filter through some life that's happened. Nothing does that for me like lifting weights or throwing a sandbag or hitting a sledgehammer into a tractor tire. I needed PT and I started and haven't stopped. I also rucked consistently. It wasn't to 50 miles but it was regular and I only missed two “I said I would” rucks. I have been really diligent with doing something because “I said I would”. It is a powerful thing to follow through and show up for yourself and others simply on your word. I also started chiro which I have needed for a long time but didn't want to put the extra line item on the budget. Turns out eventually your body fights back if you neglect it...with that also came stretching, bc why get my spine aligned if I am not going to honor my muscles around it. I gained consistency and clarity through failure. So here I am again, going for 50 miles starting June 1st. My goal is 50 miles in 30 days with a micro goal of PT in between each mile I do. If I fail, it’s inevitable but when I succeed it will be earned and deserved bc I have built that success on a mountain of training and knowledge that I couldn’t have gained without the inevitable.















