sad kitten

this is my vent / trauma blog 21. nonbinary. some mature topics etc.

[trauma-kitten]

ngl im scared to go to sleep

[trauma-kitten]

ngl im scared of myself rn. i dont like who i am rn.

[terminally-unlikable]

Absolutely cannot stop thinking about this tweet

[siickangel]

no one listens anyway // from my journal

[clusterb-itch]

[siickangel]

at first i was like “i have no friends” as a joke but bro.. i don’t think it’s a joke anymore

[terminally-unlikable]

[ojibwa]

[trauma-kitten]

why do i keep dating people who are like my mother

[mephostophilis]

i don’t know how anyones first response to seeing the rampant transphobia in the uk isn’t abject heartbreak for all the trans people that live here

[mephostophilis]

so many people’s views around transphobia in the uk start and end at “haha terf island”, and never stop for 5 minutes and think how god awful it is for trans people to be stuck here

[softwarmdirt]

Trans men in 'extreme distress' as NHS stops life-changing phalloplasty

Trans men affected by the NHS recently pausing phalloplasty provision in the UK describe feeling let down and left in limbo.

I haven't seen anything about this on tumblr yet, but since April 2021 the NHS also discontinued all trans male bottom surgery, including for patients BETWEEN surgeries, with no plans to resume

[dathen]

If you use the word “queerbaiting” about characters who are openly queer in the text, just because you’re not sure if some ship will be canon or not, you are never allowed to use words again.

[dathen]

We got this when TMA Jon was confirmed as canon ace and Martin as canon mlm, just because people weren’t sure if they’d actually get together.  THEY’RE STILL QUEER.  We’re getting this with a show full of pansexual vampires and a mlm whose queerness is an important part of his character background because..???  The fave ship isn’t happening fast enough or something??  Hell even as obnoxious as Disney is, it was annoying for Loki when you had two bisexual leads but accusations of queerbaiting were thrown around because, again, a ship didn’t happen (and then ignored the REAL baiting re: genderfluidity).  

shipping was a MISTAKE

[otakusapien]

Every time I see people do this I think about when Magnus Chase fans called it queerbaiting Blitzstone didn’t happen even though the titular main character/narrator has a canon genderfluid love interest

[quakie]

Calling a character queer but then never integrating that characteristic into story lines baits queers into watching but then never seeing themselves really reflected. Unless of course they manifest queerness in vivid ways without having the character in a relationship. It is possible but I’m not sure how probable.

[nerdfighterwhatevernumbers]

I’m queer and don’t want a romantic relationship, how tf do you expect me to identify with any queer character if their queerness is solely defined by their romantic relationships? Am I bad queer rep to you? No, because you understand different queer people have different experiences, and in the same way, we need different rep

[dathen]

Holyyyyyyyyy fuck well thank you quakie for being the #1 example of why this attitude is just so shitty and reductive, I guess??  You think that the only way queerness can be integrated into a storyline is through romance??  I’m guessing trans people don’t count as queer, let alone aroace people!!  You’re demonstrating this whole “the only queerness that matters is same-gender romance,” but even THEN it’s not like the only aspect of queerness that matters is romantic relationships.  

“It is possible but I’m not sure how probable” the fact you can’t even THINK of stories that matter aside from shipping–literally any story related to being trans or gender exploration or aro or ace characters or confronting religious trauma or forming communities or self-love or anything??  How about how queerness intersects with other identities and cultures, people discovering their histories??  But no, queerness is just an irrelevant detail until it becomes a canon ship, it’s ““improbable”” that someone could meaningfully integrate it unless characters are making out.

I’m aroace and agender–literally nothing in a romance will connect to me, but I have common ground with other queer people in dozens of other ways–and here you are saying that the ONLY way that queerness can be reflected in a character is the part I can’t relate to.  Even just seeing a LIVING TRANS CHARACTER means the world to me.  How deep into “shipping is all that matters” do you have to be to not even be able to hypothetically imagine that??  Fuck off.

[jabberwockypie]

I can think of SO MANY situations where a straight character wouldn’t be in a relationship, too, and it would be regarded as fine. Queer experiences are SO MUCH MORE than who you’re dating.

[trauma-kitten]

my gf is so annoying rn i want to just be like OH MY GOD SHUT UP not everything is about you what is wrong with you

[trauma-kitten]

i have indulged my fleshly desires so thoroughly this past week to where i now dont want them anymore. i dont want sex or affection or connection or food or drugs im so tired. i just want some real peace

[weltenwellen]

Jenny Slate, Little Weirds

[trauma-kitten]

I want to cut so bad

[trauma-ruined-deactivated202110]

[furiousgoldfish]

If you’re in a relationship where:

your partner used to give you overwhelming attention, and now they won’t even look at you

you partner used to think the world of you and now they think nothing of you

you used to get swarmed with compliments and idealized to heaven, but now you’re harshly criticized for the very same things that used to be loved in you

you used to receive warmth, but now you’re getting anxious and unsure because of the their cold and uncaring behaviour

the other person cared about your every pain aand struggle, but now they make you cry and don’t care anymore

your partner used to make you feel happy and safe, but now you’re worried they might leave and abandon you for every little flaw they see in you

your partner used to comfort you over past abuse, but now they think you deserve it

your partner no longer thinks your pain is real

your partner reacts to boundaries by picking you apart and talking to you as if you are the worst, most selfish and demanding person in the world

you find yourself questioning your every word and action to see what is so horrible in you that you deserved this

know that you did nothing wrong. You did nothing to cause this complete change of attitude. All of these developments are a pattern of abuse, where the abuser idealizes, mirrors, and love-bombs a person until they depend on the support and get commuted in the relationship, then afterwards the abuser devalues and abuses, confident they will get away with it. What they did has nothing to do with who you are. You haven’t done anything to change their perspective of you; it was their plan from the start.

You are in an abusive relationship, and I’m sorry to say, but things will never go back to how they were at the start; that was only done to make you hold onto them as tight as possible. You’ll be starved for attention, denied your dignity, kept on eggshells, gaslit if you try to confront them, threatened with abandonment, and forced to live while aching for love and acceptance, while being told you’re not worth any. None of it was your fault. You are just as lovely and worth of love and attention as you were at the start. Their reaction to you changed only because it’s a part of the manipulation; you never stopped being a valuable, lovable person. They noticed you had a lot to give, and decided to wrench it away from you by force. You are not defined by who they say they are, and you deserve better.

[trauma-kitten]

.... oh