needy & brainy @upheldlife - Tumblr Blog

Oh, that hurts. A lot.

I think frustration is the word of the week for me.

It really started Wednesday. After church I had to go to Peyton’s house to pick something up, and as we’re leaving church he says, “Let’s go home.” Did that open a whole can of EMOTION or what because I am SO READY for that statement to be true and real. The whole drive to his house I had to fight back tears because of how frustrated I am that our wedding is way-too-far away, when I’m ready for it to be tomorrow.

Following that, things just spiraled because I’m a wimp and we aren’t going to see each other for 10 days and I can’t handle it. I know I’m a lot more clingy and needy than he knows what to deal with, so I try to hold it in and hide it, but I know I stress him out even still. So, frustration there at myself for not knowing how to handle my own emotions.

So... yeah.

Bear fruit in keeping with repentance -- Matthew 3:8

“There are times when we do know what God’s purpose is; whether we will let the vision be turned into actual character depends on us, not on God....... This means living the realities of our lives in the light of the vision until the truth of the vision is actually realized in us.” -- Utmost

Oh man, life stresses me out sometimes.

And by sometimes, I really mean only sometimes. But when those sometimes occur, it’s like a wave knocking me down over and over again in my mind until I feel like I’m drowning.

School is getting to me. Doing research is getting to me. Writing my thesis is getting to me. Work at Tech is getting to me. Work at LC is getting to me. Wedding planning (as joyful as it is) is getting to me. My relationship (as marvelous and wonderful as it is) is getting to me. My future job possibilities are getting to me.

Lots of things. Lots of waves. Can’t get up.

// tomorrow will be better, but tonight... tonight is rough.

(and Utie doesn’t help)

so confuzzled. Like good confuzzled, but still confuzzled 🤨😋

I’m soooo in loooove