Q

them ☆ 25

[bonivers]

and i’m always saying this

[letthefairyinyoufly]

HEATED RIVALRY ⤷ S1E3 "Hunter"

[ilya-sweetheart]

hollanov on separate bedrooms

jackie: yeah separate bedrooms can be a blessing! i love hayden but sometimes i need my own space

shane: ????

hayden: it’s healthy for couples to get a breather! and it makes it more romantic when we share our bed again <3 even tho you kick in your sleep babe ahah

ilya: okei….

(later, at home)

ilya: don’t you ever dare sleep in a separate bed from me i will hunt you down

shane: fuck no never — also when you kick me in your sleep i just kick you right thefuck?? like grow a pair hayd, jeez

ilya: ok i see your point but maybe hayden shouldn’t kick his wife

shane: you’re right jackie should just kick him harder

ilya: exactly! we should be marriage counsellors, solving everybodies problems ))

[jimmysownworld]

i love the “hollanov has a crush on carter vaughn” take not necessarily in a “i think they would invite him to watch” way but more in a “ilya would accidentally let it slip while chirping at shane to fluster him that vaughn is at the top of their ‘would’ list and vaughn is a little thrown off and straight so he’s like “are you guys asking?” and ilya laughs and pats his shoulder and assures him “absolutely not, i do not share my shane, we just think you are good looking man, i like that you are pretty and fun and my shane likes that you are serious about hockey and have good grooming habits. is not serious, do not worry vaughny we will not be asking you to witness me and my beautiful husband ever” and vaughn low key is overjoyed about it, his teammates who are around and hear the exchange are sometimes like “that doesnt bother you? you dont find that a bit weird?” but vaugh genuinely is just like “rozanov just called me pretty and fun enough to hang out with and hollander thinks im good at hockey and clean enough for him, you could hand me a nobel peace prize and it wouldnt come close to this achievement” and eventually it gets out to the general public so vaughn is captioning his instagram posts shit like “#1 contender for being the hockey husbands third goes fishing” despite shanes mortification about this getting out and vaughns clear delight with it” way

[kingskindly]

I just know, after raising Shane all these years, Yuna is very in tune with the likes and dislikes of her family and always likes to pick things up when she’s out.

A blanket on sale that she knows is a texture Shane will like, sesame mochi — the only dessert Shane will eat — David’s favourite brand of chocolate covered almonds (Meiji, obviously).

And when Ilya joins their family it takes a while, but Yuna notices that he always reaches for the dried mangoes when there’s a bag open, and he eats the Miss Vickies sweet and spicy ketchup chips by the handful.

So it makes sense to her that she would pick these things up when she sees them at the store and make sure her pantry is stocked for all her boys.

Ilya only finds out when they’re over at his parents on a movie night, and Shane, rummaging around the pantry for snacks groans “at this point, you have more of Ilya’s stuff than you do mine,”

“My stuff?” He asks, completely befuddled.

“Yeah, like the ketchup chips and the dried mangoes. Your snacks take up the whole pantry.”

“My snacks,” Ilya says again flatly, still not understanding. “But you all eat these.”

“I mean sure,” Shane agrees, “but my mom buys them for you. Because you like them.”

“This is true?” Ilya turns to Yuna with wide eyes.

And Yuna smiles softly at him, maybe a little sheepishly at being called out so blatantly, and shrugs.

“I mean, yes, honey. I thought you liked those snacks?”

And Ilya gets all teary and reassures her that he loves these snacks. He’s obsessed with these snacks. They are his favourite snacks.

And he starts noticing how anytime he shows interest in something, it will start showing up regularly at the Hollander household—snacks, candy, that specific Japanese soda Ilya likes with the marble.

It becomes a running joke between them that Yuna pays more attention to what Ilya likes than what Shane does (not true but the joke makes them both pleased and sappy).

[lavenderprose]

Ilya is so lucky that Shane proposed. Ilya would have been a nervous fucking wreck for the entire day beforehand. Wake up in the morning. Look in the mirror. Today's the day. Sob. Breathe. Okay I'm good! Turn around and Shane's hair is all in his face, still asleep on Ilya's pillow. I am NOT good. Cold shower. Breakfast that Ilya does not eat. Morning jog wherein Ilya runs like someone is chasing him. Lunch that Ilya does not eat. Drive out to the cottage. Make Shane pull over because Ilya needs to dry heave on the side of the road. "Baby we don't have to drive out today if you're not feeling well." "NO WE HAVE TO." Get to the cottage. Immediately send Shane on some kind of extended fool's errand. Shane wants to stay because Ilya is SHAKING and he is so worried. "No my love I'm fine it's just the breeze off the lake haha." It's thirty fuckig degrees Celsius. Shane finally gtfo's. Yuna, David, Rose FUCKING Landry all descend to help Ilya set up. Well. Ilya is supposed to be helping but he is standing on the deck fully dissociating. Yuna brings him tea. "Are you going to throw up the tea?" "Yes probably." Yuna takes away the tea. 800 electronic tea lights on the deck. In a parallel Ilya has no way of understanding, he both puts on and takes off a suit. Yuna fixes his curls into the hockey boy quasi-mullet that magnetizes Shane's fingers to Ilya's hair and says, "Oh, you're so handsome!" Ilya cries big fat tears. David tells a story about how his proposal to Yuna almost didn't happen because David went to the hospital for heart palpitations that morning. Thank You David That Does Not Help Even Remotely. Ilya slav squats on the lawn for twenty minutes. Shane's car pulls up in the driveway and everyone hides while Ilya vibrates in the entryway. Shane has no less than thirty grocery bags hanging from his arms, still complaining about why the grocery service cancelled their delivery last minute. Ilya leads Shane and all thirty of his grocery bags onto the deck. Shane is doing his favorite thing (bitching) and his second favorite thing (Follow Ilya) so he doesn't notice his own mother tiptoing behind him collecting the grocery bags he drops like breadcrumbs. There is an Oscar-winning actress hiding under his sofa and Shane does not notice because Ilya takes him on the deck and drops to his knees and Shane is like, "Haha, right now?" and then he sees that Ilya has a look on his face like he's just been told the sun is never coming up again and he has his hands on Shane's knees and he is saying, "Shane. Please?" and Shane puts his hands on his head and says "Oh my God baby what's happening to you" as Ilya melts and melts and then from the depths of the cottage someone who sounds a lot like Shane's very own father is whispering "The ring the ring" and when he looks back down Ilya is fumbling a ring box out of his pocket. The first picture of their proposal is Shane glaring into the middle distance with a hand cradling Ilya's curls like a baby while Ilya ugly sobs into his knee.

[nettlepixie]

biblically accurate ilya rozanov proposal

[lexicanons]

Sugar Daddy Shane and Sugar Baby Ilya. Ilya cuts ties with his family and makes his way to Canada but it’s not as easy as he thought starting anew. He’s struggling so he enters into an arrangement with Shane. Shane views the whole arrangement as very practical. He doesn’t have time for dating and he doesn’t have to deal with the anxiety of wondering if someone really likes him or not. They both know why the other is here and that makes it easy. The arrangement is going fine until Ilya realizes he’s in love with Shane and breaks it off immediately. He lies and tells Shane he got this great job so he doesn’t need the money anymore. Shane is sad, because he’s also in love, but doesn’t stop him. He wishes Ilya well and leaves the door open for him to return to the arrangement if he ever wants or needs to. Some time later, Shane is out and sees Ilya working as a bartender, looking like he hasn’t gotten a goodnight sleep since they last saw each other. Shane confronts Ilya. Ilya tries to deflect but Shane won’t let him. He asks Ilya if he did something wrong or made Ilya uncomfortable. He thinks maybe he didn’t hide his love for Ilya well enough and starts to apologize, but Ilya stops him. He admits he ended things because he’s in love with Shane and left before he could embarrass them both. Shane kisses Ilya, confesses his love and asks Ilya to move in.

[russianblush]

#ilya baby get behind me

[russianblush]

HEY HELLO JUST GIVE ME THE GUN INSTEAD

(sorry @joyousmistake these tags killed me)

[lexicanons]

Post TLG Shane and Ilya have to stay with Yuna and David for a few days because the repairs to the cottage weren’t finished by the time the season ended. The first night, Shane tries to initiate sex but Ilya shuts him down. Shane is worried that something is wrong but Ilya is like “You’re too loud, they’ll hear” and Shane spends the next 10 minutes trying to convince Ilya he’ll be quiet (“I’ll be quiet. I’ll suck on your fingers to keep quiet, Ilya.”). Meanwhile, down the hall, Yuna and David are having the exact same argument (“No, David. You’ve been so loud since Shane moved out. The boys will hear.” “…I can’t make noise if you sit on my face.”)

[bugslibraryy]

Sleepy fucked out happy happy subspaced Shane whining a little everytime Ilya pulls back from a kiss. His arms around Ilya’s neck keeping him close close close when he needs to breath he just keeps his mouth resting on Ilya’s, nuzzling them together over and over. Ilya says they need to sleep and Shane is like “ok kisses till I go to sleep” and Ilya just nods because that’s his Shane and whatever he needs

[bees-reads]

I’m obsessed with the idea of Shane figuring out he can use his big beautiful doe eyes to get anything he wants.

He just widens his eyes, makes them a bit glassy and Ilya folds like a damn chair.

After a while Ilya figures out what he’s doing and screws his eyes shut to avoid looking at Shane.

Ilya: no Shane no I know what you’re doing, put your eyes away. You will not use your wicked spells on me today

Shane: Ilya will you just look at me please

Ilya always ends up looking at Shane because he can’t resist him and Shane gets his way every single darn time.

[marmelade-sky]

hollanov doing the hand size comparison thing and Shane's hand is bigger. He's bashful about it, because he loves feeling a bit small around Ilya (and Ilya can lift him up etc). Meanwhile, Ilya is instantly so hard that he loses vision for a second.

[marmelade-sky]

*sigh* okay okay i'll do it (nobody asked for it). set in tampa. and obviously going off of their show!sizes and not their book!size difference.

-

It's nice, not having to get up and run out of the room immediately after they're done fucking.

The hotel room sheets are rumpled, Rozanov - Ilya - lying on top of them with his arm outstretched while Shane rests his head on his shoulder.

"I missed this," Shane admits, saying it so quietly that it barely comes out.

"Did you now?" Ilya asks, and Shane can hear the smirk in his voice.

"Fuck off," Shane laughs, reaching across his body to poke Ilya in the ribs. Ilya catches his wrist, wrestling him back down. It's light, playful. They're too tired from their first round of sex, anyway.

Eventually, they end up facing each other, Shane on his back, Ilya half-hovering above him, still lightly holding his wrist. Ilya softens his grip, and their hands slide together, palm to palm. Ilya's palm is warm and a little sweaty, but not unpleasantly so.

Shane can't help but stare at their joined hands.

Sometimes, girls wanted to do this, compare hand sizes. Inevitably, it always ended with the girl delighted about how much bigger Shane's hand was than hers.

It made Shane sad, for a second, that his hand was still bigger now, his palm slightly larger than Ilya's, his fingers a bit longer. Rozanov had big hands, strong, manly. Still, Shane's were larger.

"My hand's bigger than yours." It came out embarrassingly... pouty. Shane wanted... Shane had no idea what he wanted.

Ilya could pick him up, could lift him onto a kitchen counter, could carry him into his bedroom and toss him onto the sheets like he weighed nothing. Ilya could hold him down, could manhandle him here and there until Shane was a moaning, squirming mess, spreading his legs and arching his back just the way Ilya wanted him to.

That was what Shane wanted.

"Huh?" Ilya replied, voice dreamy.

"Our hands. Yours is smaller than mine." Shane repeated. When he looked up, Ilya's pupils were blown wide.

"Oh." Sounding dreamy still. "Yeah."

A second of silence passed between them.

Then, Ilya shifted on top of Shane, and Shane gasped. "Are you seriously hard again?!"

Ilya laughed, letting his head fall forward. It was so intimate, to see him like this, to have him smiling and laughing in bed, and Shane couldn't help but laugh, too.

"Did the hand size thing get you hard?"

"Yes, Hollander, fuck," Ilya admitted, "Is kind of hot, no?"

"My big hands?" Shane rolled his eyes.

"Yes, big hands for my big cock," Ilya said with a shit-eating grin.

"You're the worst."

"You like me." Ilya pushed Shane's hand down onto the sheet, and kissed him.

[loontattoo]

the concept of ilya teaching shane how to swim

[kaijuerotica]

it would be way further into their relationship than you'd think, too. after ilya transfers to ottawa. like shane just hasn't told him he can't swim and finally admits it and ilya has to rethink everything realizing he actually hasnt ever seen shane swim, has he?

[fractally]

I think Shane in literally any situation without Ilya is just like “wow I hate this I want my husband. I want my husband where is my husband. Everyone here sucks I want Ilya. I hate everyone but Ilya. This sucks”

[sozvezdiyay]

Obsessed with the idea of Shane randomly encountering Bad Bunny at a bar just like he encountered Rose. (Because he has the BEST luck.)

But he doesn't know who Bad Bunny is, and Bad Bunny doesn't know who Shane is... So they're both just making small talk with this hot guy they met at the bar while they wait for their drinks. They're enjoying talking to someone who doesn't know their celebrity status. And Shane is getting a little flustered despite being married, because damn if this guy isn't his type, and Bad Bunny is lowkey flirting with him.

And then Ilya shows up and has a heart attack. Alternating between fanboying over Bad Bunny and wanting to fight him. Just standing there frozen with this bonkers expression on his face.

And Shane is completely oblivious. "Hey, you're back! I ordered you a beer. Oh, and this is Benito. Benito, this is my husband Ilya........... Baby, are you okay? Why do you look like that?"

[myshangel]

i think ilya could genuinely have lived his entire life with a chronic illness and not realised until he and shane lived together full time and shane was like . baby idk how to tell you this but someone has lied to u it's not normal to get headaches that make u throw up

[myshangel]

shane is secretly compiling evidence and sending it to his mom so llya doesn't start hiding shit like a sick cat . migraine nausea pain tired pain migraine migraine . yuna texts back a 👍 and adds it to Her File

[scunthotter]

Shane and Ilya snuggled up in the plush private recovery room of the expensive surgery center that did Ilya's dental surgery. Ilya is on this recliner and it's only wisdom teeth surgery so his pathetic whines managed to convince Shane to come cuddle on his lap while he comes down from the anesthesia.

Ilya's rambling at Shane and then suddenly is grabbing him going "Shane, Shane, I'm married. Fuck Shane I'm married to the hottest man alive can you believe this?"

And Shane is just charmed by this new tangent of rambling and after awhile he's like "I don't know, have you met my husband? He's kinda the most beautiful man alive 🥰" only to feel Ilya tense up so fast underneath him.

Shane pulls back and Ilya who was so happy and loose is suddenly >:(((( looking at Shane like he betrayed him.

"Who is this man Hollander? Who did you marry without telling me? I will fight this man, he's not worthy of you, divorce him right now!"