( katherinebeckett ) bruisedpast:
its been three years since she decided to disappear from the man she loved — disappear from the life they could’ve had together. as soon as that stick produced two positive lines her world felt like it was caving in around her and kate didn’t know what to do aside from run. because that’s what she did when she didn’t know what else to do — when she was terrified, scared beyond belief. she wasn’t ready to be a mother, for her and rick to be a family. he was never meant to mean as much to her as he did, it was supposed to be fun — a fling. he already had a child of his own, adding another into the mix? it was all too complicated and she needed to get away, needed to disappear. so she did exactly that. she slipped away in the middle of the night, not even leaving behind a number or a note. she told herself what she was doing was the right thing. that leaving rick without a second thought was the best thing to do, not only for herself, but for him, he probably didn’t even want another child, let alone with her.
she disappeared up to her fathers cabin and contemplated what to do about her situation. did she keep the baby? she was too young to be a mother. she hadn’t even made detective yet. if she were to have a baby now, it could screw up all her plans, but as soon as she went to that first ultrasound and saw the muddled up blob she couldn’t bare to part with it, have a life without the life she’d created. so she decided to have the baby. once her father found out about the child she was bringing into the world, he started to get sober, clean up his act for her and the baby so he could be there for them.
everything seemed to move so quickly, she hadn’t thought about rick till she saw him in the paper. the guilt that laced her heart started to become unbearable, he should be here, he should know. but then the guilt slowly started to fade when his reputation started to become the playboy and kate knew she didn’t want someone like that around her child — their child. if she were to tell him she was having his child—- what if he thought it was a ploy to get money from him? what if he thought she was trying to ruin his reputation? a million and one negative thoughts emerged and she knew staying away, not letting him know — was the best decision for the both of them.
that was until almost three years later when things started to get complicated.
she’s in the elevator at his loft — she knows he lives here, she’d searched him up in the system at work. ( which in her eyes, isn’t creepy at all. she was just trying to contact the father of her child, so why not use police resources to do that? ) on her hip rests her daughter, blissfully asleep, and the image of her so peaceful settles kate’s nerves, she reaches down to tuck one of the young girls loose curls behind her ear, lips pressing against the top of her head. she can do this, she might be three years late, but she can do this.
the elevator dings and she sucks in a breath, chest rising as she slowly maneuvers out of the metal box and heads down the hall to the correct number. she closes her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat as she extends out her free hand, knuckles colliding with the wooden frame twice before she’s stepping back, eyes opening as her pulse quickens, thumps in her ears. ❛ this is it. ❜ she murmurs to herself.
@whisperingvcices. / au based on this.
it was just a fling. he tells himself this everytime he remembers how much it hurt when he woke up that morning. she was gone, just like that. it was like she had evaporated into thin air. he tried for a year to get a hold of her, but gave up. he could listen to the canceled phone number message so many times before he went crazy.
it took some time for rick to come to terms with the fact that woman he loves left him. he threw himself into writing books and going to parties. he brought home a different girl everything, much to his mother’s and daughter’s dismay. he hates that this is his reputation, that he is considered a playboy and an easy lay, but it makes him feel better. it makes him forget about kate, about the feeling in the pit of his stomach he had when she left.
he’s home with his daughter, alexis curled up next to him while they watch star wars. kate’s not far from his mind, she never is at moment like this. he wishes, he hopes that she could be here, next to them with their own children. a little girl who looks just like kate or a boy who is the spitting image of him.
he hears the knock on the door, his brows furrowing together at the sound. his mind races with the people who could be knocking on the door. slowly, he pauses the movie and across the living room to open the door. the sight of her, of his kate, with a little girl who looks like just her, makes his heart sink. “ kate. ”
