uhhh

[youwillnevershakethelight]

feeling grateful within my feelings of being a bit lost at the moment. i want to share how important it is to nurture yourself. it can be different for everyone. food is a nurturing substance, as i say this, oof, it can also function as one? but anyway. starting my day with food that is filling and nutritious, makes me feel uplifted no matter what else is or is not ... going on in my world. just seeing my arrangement of food along with coffee in a mug that also brings me some form of joy, makes me feel positive, calm. music does this too. perhaps writing, drawing, reading as well. so when you tie and combine all these things together, you are already setting up a better day for yourself! a better mood, a more content you. it takes practice and some form of routine and listening to yourself to know what it even exactly is that you want but when you surround and hive yourself things that make you just slightly happier, you are building a great foundation for yourself to build and live off of. and share!

foster and share the love.

over and out-

[youwillnevershakethelight]

these tears and this pain. it’s ruining me. i am fucked. my sleeping is fucked. my room is fucked. my heart is fucked. my ambition and motivation is there but lacking. and disregarded. pushed to the side because of my heart. and head space. because of my room. my body. my face. my hunger or dismissal of hunger. i can’t really be like this anymore. but i need to help myself. care for myself. stop hurting myself. waking up and hysterically crying on my day off. or my birthday. no matter the personal level of significance to my birthday. no matter the day. i want to stop treating myself in ways that create these scenarios that inevitably ruin me. make me feel like a terrible fuck up. make me feel the only things i’m capable of are sleeping and getting fucked up.

3:19 pm

[babygoatsandfriends]

[cutepetclub]

[catsbeaversandducks]

This happy baby.

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

“The wound is open,”

— Anne Sexton, from The Complete Poems; “Grandfather, Your Wound,”

[pi-la]

[hirxeth]

[youwillnevershakethelight]

i think about this movie a lot but havent seen it in years.

[kitschatron]

[shamewave-deactivated20150424]

[youwillnevershakethelight]

mm ok yea

[kawaiipixelcollection]

[youwillnevershakethelight]

feel stupid posting this shit - or more so what it looks like at first? 

why am i so judgemental of me? 

i wanna stop pushing myself so, so low. stop guessing what people are trying to say before they finish saying it. not bombard people with my existence. and i wanna extract my habits of being late so frequently, for everything.

to stop living in my past, i don’t quite realize just how far away from it i actually maybe am. still seeing, thinking, a decent bit of someone who just isn’t there and i really don’t know how long maybe they weren’t there, even when we knew each other. i’m perhaps a bit too distant from myself too - in actually processing and living things. experiencing them. stop solely surviving my dude. stop it.

maybe i posted this to feel better about my body? cause my body makes me sad sometimes. upset. unthankful. <less than. what + who i am.

i have been nervous actually sharing things online, in places where people follow? this tumblr is kinda dead so, it’s easier.??. ha.

[starrywisdomsect]

Eine Kleine Nachtmusik by Dorothea Tanning (1943, oil on canvas.)

Eine Kleine Nachtmusik is one of the best known of Dorothea Tanning’s early paintings. It shows what appears to be a hotel corridor with numbered doors, the farthest of which is open just enough to offer a glimpse of incandescent light. A giant sunflower and pieces of its torn stem lie on the landing. Two fallen petals lie further down the stairs and a third is held by a doll propped against one of the doorways. The doll is remarkably life-like and wears similar clothing to the girl standing nearby. Her status as a toy is only revealed by her hairline and the regularly moulded contours of her torso. The tattered state of the clothes worn by both the doll and the girl suggests that there has been some sort of struggle or encounter with powerful forces, and the girl’s long hair streams upwards as if blasted by an immensely powerful gust of wind. Tanning has said: ‘It’s about confrontation. Everyone believes he/she is his/her drama. While they don’t always have giant sunflowers (most aggressive of flowers) to contend with, there are always stairways, hallways, even very private theatres where the suffocations and the finalities are being played out, the blood red carpet or cruel yellows, the attacker, the delighted victim….’ 

[ondoinganevildeedblues]

[youwillnevershakethelight]

25?

[charomora]

[odios]

[youwillnevershakethelight]

[youwillnevershakethelight]

my bootsie

[uneedamanicure]