Conversations with neighbors at the front door waiting for the rain to subside
I’ve had this type of experience many times in Taiwan now. When you live in high density countries that often have short, heavy rains, it’s not suprising you’ll wind up with this opportunity.
I’ve only lived with one foreign culture, the Chinese culture. I’ve spent time in both Taiwan and Mainland China, so yes they are different societies (not getting political in this article), but at there core they share many similarities, a kind of Chinese core. This means in many ways, the value system of the different people will have similar dynamics. The Chinese core values stability, prosperity, diligent work, and opportunity.
Because I’m obviously a foreigner and outsider in Taiwan, there are certain stereotypes local people have of me. When they get a chance to speak with a foreigner in the flesh, it’s a chance for them to weigh in on these stereotypes, and see how well this particular foreigner holds up to them.
The Chinese mind is also very calculating. Every opportunity is a chance to gain information, strengthen interpersonal connections, and take a step towards the next opportunity.
Part of me is like this, and my time is this part of the world has brought this even further out of me. I realize this because when I’m with non-Chinese I now cut to the chase and began asking about people’s work, where they live, what they studied. I don’t believe I’m trying to size them up as an individual to make some kind of judgement about them. Rather I am sizing up the types of connections, knowledge and interests they may possess, and then begin thinking of what I may know, or what to know, and attempt to focus on interaction on this topic.
So going back to this rainy afternoon, I walk out of my building, and then an auntie is standing out front waiting for the rain to subside. When she sees me, sees the rain, doesn’t bother moving out of the narrow entranceway, but instead prepares to engage me in some conversation.
I’ve had these conversations so many times now, I mostly go in to a sort of autopilot, as they will carry out mostly the same line of questioning from the local party, so it’s up to me how smooth, predictable and concise it will be.
When I’m in the conversating mood (sorry English, it’s a new word, deal with it), I like to attempt showing off my cultural aptitude, initiate the conversation that I know is coming and hit my interlocutor with culturally appropriate opening.
When it’s sunny and hot outside: “Wow the sun is so big!”
When we’re having a heavy rain: “Wow big rain is falling!”
So now I’ve played my opening hand, which both allows them to roughly peg my linguistic level, and also forced them to counter with the highly insightful: “Yep, it really is big.”
And now that the formalities have been handled, they table has been cleared to get down to the task of information extraction. Over the next several minutes, my neighbor will do her best to know what line of work I do (thus inferring how my income level, and the schedule/lifestyle I live), my age and marital status. The questions tend to center around quantifiable answers that can be reduced into a sort of balance sheet, to which my interlocutor can then begin to assess whether I am “party foreigner” or “business foreigner.”
I’ve never gotten the sense that it’s about making judgement call on my value system as a person. I don’t think they are trying to make an assessment about me as a good/bad person. Rather they are trying to make an assessment about low/high potential opportunity.
In this sense, I have to say I find the Chinese cultural very calculating, shrewd and opportunistic. Inversely, they are much more morally agnostic.
After a few minutes, when my interlocutor seems to have collected enough data to make their assessment (I don’t let them get away cost free, usually hitting them with a rough approximate of each question they bring upon me, often attempting to cross into social awkward questions by a single foot; such as after finding out they own an apartment in my building, I might ask how many other units they own).
I’m not asked about my hobbies or experiences which might set me apart from other people or help to paint a picture about who I am. I may be asked direct opinion questions, such as “What’s your favorite taiwanese food?” or “Have you adjusted to life in taiwan?” But never something like “How does Taiwanese food compare to food where you’re from?” or “What are some of the challenges you’ve had adjusting to life in Taiwan?” I am also never asked for any analytical insight, such as how I see the English teaching market in Taiwan.
On a personal level, the questions that are simple meant to make a ledger sheet assessment of me and determine what foreigner box to stick me in are dehumanizing. I do respect the Chinese’s ability to network, assess value, and think in terms of connections, synergizing and looking for potential future opportunities.
If this assessment seems critical, it’s not really meant to be. I get the sense Chinese culture is proud of their cultural ability to network, problem solve, find opportunity and extract prosperity. They have a few areas of a traditional cultural pursuit they hold dear, but in many regards they are happy to leave culture to the Italians, French, Japanese or whomever is making beautiful things without getting paid.
