❝Ah, you actually arrived!❞ A cheerful tone seeps out of his lips, her uncle who invited her into the home she used to show up when she was a child. He beams radiantly and she flashes a quick, closed lip smile. When stepping inside she absorbed the image of others staring her, a mixture of joy and astonished. Hana almost forgotten that she spent years isolating herself when growing up therefore, her family heard but never seen her in years until this day. Uncertain of the reason behind her appearance but at least she didn’t have to see her mother around.
Everyone spoke, whispered between their palms and the woman glances around in confusion. In attempt to figure things out but she shrugs it off casually. Others still looked the same, features were matured but there’s nothing out of the ordinary. The brunette roams around the large space, greeting those who were sitting or standing. Feeling out of place, slightly discomforting but she doesn’t pay attention to it too much.
❝She’s an actress now.❞
❝Can you believe it? After all these years.❞
Hana doesn’t need to question the pair of elders who were creating conversations about another, to figure out who they were speaking about. Her eyes roamed around, walking in long strides whilst peering from side to side. Wondering if Jinri was here since she hasn’t spoken or seen her ever since they were children. Most likely there’s a possibility of her not even recognizing her either. ❝Jinri...❞ The name emits out of parted lips, seeing the other woman being surrounded by a tiny group of relatives and family friends. Questioning her life as someone who actually gained success, like the rest of them.
Hana hasn’t heard from the other woman in what seems to be like forever. She was genuinely concern about the other’s well being and what happened during the past week without notification of her disappearance. This happened once, it’s something she discussed with Daeun with sincere emotions without withdrawing her comments.
When she attempts to make contact, messages were failed to sent and voicemails were completely pushed aside. Disconnected and this wasn’t an issue she can laugh off. Hana cares too much about the older woman to do such a thing. She wanted nothing more than to hear her voice, wanting confirmation. To know everything is okay and ask for forgiveness for not being the good friend that she should be for the older.
❝Hello?❞ Calling out with a curious ring to her tone, after the past few rings it comes to a pause but there’s no response given yet. ❝Dae? Where are ya’?❞
The beat of her head was racing uncontrollably quick, her body begins to tense up at the thought that there could possibly be something wrong. Instinctively thinking, hence is why Hana didn’t have the opportunity to contact her for a while. It’s none of her business, she knows when to provide space so the other wouldn’t feel suffocated or pressured to tell a story. But for once, she feels the need to. To hear the honest truth any way possible.
It was a simple day, ordinary game of basketball between two teams and she wanted to tag along. Friend convincing her to join when she had nothing else to do and somewhere along those lines she heard the name that was chanting out through the crowds of people. Brows furrowing in mere confusion of who it could be as she starts to look around the players, seeing who reacted to it. Otani, that name. Hana knows that exact name. Recalling it easily when she heard it through the radio show she listens through during the time where she’s close to falling into a deep slumber for a few hours.
❝I know him.❞ Well not personally as friends or acquaintances but the woman knows him from the particular radio show she enjoys.
Her friend responded swiftly, her head incline towards Hana’s direction with a questioning look and she repeats the male’s name for reassurance causing her head to nod in response. Was it from the story that was told that time? Her head shakes as a truthful reply. She was only intrigued by the story due to hearing her name a few times, it wasn’t about her but it sparked curiosity of who it was. First love, anything that was considered important to someone always caught the young female’s attention easily.
It was their break, preparation for the last half of the game. Hana’s unintentionally staring longer than expected to where she felt the pair of his own gaze falling right into hers and gradually her eyes flickered over to one corner. Another direction but his own with fingers fidgeting between one another. Trying not to appear nervous but rather uneasy to be caught doing such an action that might give the latter the wrong impression.
Excuses. Started off as nothing more than her telling a story about how she fell, tripped on her own step ( maybe make him laugh at how clumsy she really wasn’t ). Lead to her currently informing him that there was an argument with another woman at the club around town which resulted into her getting thrown out. Truthfully, she doesn’t like to be a liar, she barely lies. In this case, she feels obligated to spill it out with layers of stories she makes up last minute.
❝I got it, I got it.❞ Sometimes, Hana forgets how she appears physically. She found herself disgusted at the way her lip appears to be swollen and how her skin was marked in bruises from knuckles or the palm of a hand resting against her cheek. She didn’t exactly feel beautiful anymore either. Reaching forward in order to grab the dampen towel within his hands, she presses it down slowly along the length of her arm. Couple of small cuts but they’ll fade away, so she would hope so terribly.
Her smile was tired whenever she flashes it towards Clae for confirmation that she’s perfectly fine. Fine as in she wasn’t deceased and her body isn’t lying along the ground soaked in regret. The female used to have plenty of people in her life, friends who were close but disappeared due to lost of connection. Forced upon isolation and making excuses that she needed to go home after ten minutes of conversation. Hana doesn’t know why he tolerates her most of the time. He’s the only one who continues to catch her during this time of need. Needing someone who isn’t her current boyfriend.
She’s wishing and helplessly hoping that the other isn’t focusing his attention on her. Hazel colored irises falling onto the ground where her feet were planted on, biting down on her lower lip when the uneasy feeling curls into knots. ❝Clae.❞ His name falls out of her lips softly, hoping he wouldn’t ask any more inquiries about the situation because she doesn’t want any trouble to happen. ❝I just need to be cleaned up then I’ll get goin’.❞
Despite how open she was about emotions or thoughts, words slipping out of her mouth straight-forwardly. Not many people enjoyed what she had discussed so openly about, informed her that her mind was negative and she needed to learn how to shine brightness on the dull areas in her life. Hana would, if she found proper reasons to be sincerely happy. Being alive, breathing well despite her lungs sinking in the taste of nicotine. That’s one reason. Loved ones to her friends, that’s a second reason as well.
She only agreed to this due to her relative being genuinely concerned about her well being. Mentally due to her sudden burst of anger that builds up as days continue to pass by her and how her skin feels clawed out in the evening. She’s awake by then, settled onto the mattress with her eyes on the ceiling. Wondering, one thought coming after the other until she’s regretting not to sleep any earlier.
Making an appointment ahead of time, a day earlier due to how she was contemplating for a whole week. Briefly contacting the older male with the number provided by another, dialing it and leaving a message. From then, after the first appointment, she hasn’t prepared anything in advance with him. Hana didn’t have enough time to inform when she was arriving, simply stepping in the building to let the person behind the desk send the message out.
It’s random visits from now on, when she has day offs. And today, she needed another one.
Settling onto the seat, leaning back and waiting for a response. An approval that it was fine to step inside of his office. Wondering if the older was here to begin with and her fingers were brushing through her dark strands of hair. Always anticipating this, uncertain of what to say and despite him giving her permission to speak about what she’s feeling. It’s usually vague, unclear and concealing it with tiny excuses. Deep down, there’s something hurting. Emotionally draining and weighing her down.
It was unusually the first time meeting each other. How rushed movements were and how she didn’t bother to remember his name all that much either. Though he was someone who was considered kind ( nicer than she was ) hence is why she could recall the older male easily. One thing, Hana knows too well; he has to tolerate her existence until the end of time. Or at least when he isn’t fond of her presence anymore. The brunette had an assumption that she was getting underneath his skin. Due to the numerous texts she leaves behind and how she doesn’t really care much for how she didn’t filter her mouth half of the time. Hana doesn’t smoke around him, recollecting to do it before meeting up with him or afterwards. Therefore, she doesn’t inhale as much nicotine during her free time. That’s one benefits of having a friend like Thomas.
Curiosity of the device that he tends to carry around with him usually leaves her mind with pondering thoughts. Hana wasn’t someone who captures photos professionally like others who she befriended or encountered. It’s an interesting sight to see, how engrossed they were with taking multiple shots of people or locations, possessions as well. Only to add them up, see which was more fitting to their liking and end up with less than ten shots a day. The tranquil wasn’t bothersome, it was relaxing to be in peace despite there being crowds of people in different directions. And the weather wasn’t too scorching either, hence is why she decided to besides him as a companion for today.
❝Thomas.❞ His name rolls out of her lips when calling out to him, voice rising an octave higher. A whine coming in between her vocals and she needed to halt her steps in order to grasp a hold of his attention. Could have snatched the camera, purposely dropped it onto the ground but no -- she’s there trying to interrupt the other’s session. Leaning to the side where he was standing, in front with strands of dark tresses falling off her shoulders. Glancing at the lens and two fingers stuck out, forefinger pressed against her cheek. Snap, she can hear him accidentally taking the photo of her when he was supposed to take a picture of something else. ❝Ya’ done? I don’t appreciate being ignored by you right now, ‘specially when I’m givin’ ya’ my free time.❞
Minding her own business, obvious by how her gaze continues to drift in other directions within seconds. Can’t focus on people who are lingering close by, not caring too much for their intoxicated state. Especially when she’s growing accustom to slippery and messy words escaping their pair of chapped lips and that idiotic smile to come afterwards. Neon lights flickering, loud bass and music playing in the background. It’s nothing unusual, it’s all the same.
A cigarette was snatched and captured between rosy lips, inhaling and exhaling with every heave of her breath. Head inclined the slightest bit in order to see who was nearby. A male glancing at her, which seemingly appears to be longer than she expected. Instinctively, slender fingers caressed her cheeks to see if there was anything on her face. There’s a familiar emotion on his face, one she couldn’t retrace too easily.
Sadly, the spot she was placed upon was taken by a drunk idiotic who was causing commotion on his own time. Deciding to sit somewhere else, behind pressed onto another stool. One closer to the other male who she kept her eye on when sneaking in quick glimpses here and there. Hana orders the regular, one where the bartender she was commonly familiar with already knew by then. Glass in hand, fingers pinched the surface and she turns. Petite frame coming into his vision, irises falling onto him and she raises her cup a little higher to take a small sip of it. ❝First time seein’ you ‘round here.❞
— ღ for a drabble about a romance / their love life. requested by: evthrvl.
+ time period: age mentioned sixteen/seventeen.
He was the leader of the band, a year older than her but the same age with the other two members who stayed put for two years until they all separated. Things happened, moments collide with one another and they all had different dreams they wanted to reach for.
Hana doesn’t know what she loves more. The way his fingers can gracefully play a tune on the guitar or him.
The young woman doesn’t even think she knows the definition of love, could look it up right now in the dictionary but it wouldn’t resemble what she feels. Tendency to admire the way his lips curve into a wide smile, eyes crinkling and formed into half moons. Tone of his voice was velvety, deep but it carries a tune when he sings softly to her in private. She thought of it as a crush at first, from the moment they met because he was a typical idiot who didn’t know how to come to biology on time.
She didn’t like the way his knuckles would grind against the top of her head, until light colored tresses would fly across random directions along her face. And the fact that he would throw rocks at her windows until faint, subtle marks would be left behind and a small lecture from her mother in the middle of the night too.
Hana had hatred for the way she was never told about it any sooner.
❝I know, I should have said something sooner but--❞
She cuts him off right then and there, not wanting to hear anything more about how he was leaving to move to the states in a few days. ❝Don’t really care too much ‘bout it.❞
He understands this, how harsh she tends to be. Never wanting to hear it but she can understand it better than most people. Her fingers fiddled along the strings, forefinger brushing over each one carefully. Then her movements come to a pause when she was pulled into his embrace. Legs resting against the sides of her body and due the height difference, he can pull the guitar a little closer for him to play when he’s holding her this close.
❝You know...❞ He trails off whilst she’s eyeing his movements. Hearing the faint sounds of the rhythm playing for her and she feels a small weight being pressed against her shoulder. ❝I’ll miss you at least.❞
Five days. Dreaded those five days and for all the moments where she slept right besides him, when he provided her enough space by offering her his bed while he sleeps on the floor nearby. Time is moving too quickly, she’s asking for it to stop for a little longer. Having arms interlocked when they walked or having to play with his hair when he’s sleeping peacefully first, it wasn’t enough.
The speakers around the airport informed them that his plane was prepared for the trip down towards Los Angeles. Hana wanted to believe this was a unfortunate dream. He was standing right there in front of her, arms lifted up with the plane ticket in his hold and a crooked smile on his lips. She falls into the older’s embrace, heaving a quiet sigh that almost felt like she held it back too long.
He had dreams of furthering his career, expanding possibilities and as selfish as it was, she didn’t want it to happen or at least not too far away. She didn’t speak a word about it but he lets her go. With a kiss resting along her forehead, carefully loosening their holds and he glides bare knuckles along the top of her head one last time, for now.
❝If I come back -- I promise I'll make up for loss time.❞ The older said, walking towards the line in order to check in so he can rest on the seat he got. Glancing over the shoulder to catch a glimpse of the woman, offering a soft smile along his visage. ❝I’ll make sure to contact you whenever I can too, Hana.❞
It’s been far too long, so it seems. Hana hasn’t heard his voice, seen the way he appeared or even a message the past two years.
She hates him because of the way she carried on a love for him, without informing him otherwise. Choked upon that confession and looked the other way forcefully.
For the way she began to grow angry at things.
For becoming afraid of having feelings for another.
For being left behind again.
