#[asher's personal]

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Hahahahaha I'm having the worst night of my entire life.

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guys another of my favorite writers is following me what do I do

does my hair look nice

is my blog less shitty

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So I was an Pidge in a Voltron rp group, but because of stress from my mom, internet problems at home, and the fact that my computer would not actually connect to the internet, I was inactive. 

And I didn’t expect to be this disappointed about being replaced, but it’s late at night, and it just reminds me over and over again that no matter what I do, I’m gonna screw up, and someone, someone’s who’s so much better than me in everything I do, will take my place someday. 

And it’s not even something you can argue. Someday, my spot as a friend to someone will be taken away. Someday, my spot as an admin of something will be taken away since I’d be too incompetant. Someday, my dreams of being a writer will be taken away when I see others that are so much more qualified and just better than me take my spot. 

The group hadn’t even started yet when I joined, and they said to wait. I suppose with everything going on, I waited too long. 

I don’t know. Right now, it’s that dull aching pain in my chest as I reread the message I sent to the admin of the blog @/voltronrpworld saying that I was thankful for the chance to be Pidge, thankful that the chance to be my beautiful genius girl was there. And I truly am. And maybe any other day, when the clouds don’t cover up the sunlight in my mind, I wouldn’t have cared. Maybe another day, in another universe, where my computer would connect longer than the 10 minute connections I had to use with my phone data, I would be happy and still roleplaying. 

Maybe I’m just being whiny and useless. 

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My dad, a person who has never taken interest in the things I do outside of his will unless it is too yell at me: How’s mock trial going?

Me, someone who feels constantly threatened when he takes interest in things he didn’t before: Um, fine?

My dad, a person who never knows when to stop: I’m asking because I need to know about these things, so just tell me what’s going on in there.

Me: Nothing besides the usual, I don’t know what’s going on with the other-

My dad: I don’t care

Me: ???

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*pulls my hair out and screeches inhumanely*

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I’m just glad that I haven’t been attacked by antis lately because apparently shits starting again. 

Then again I haven’t updated any of my fics in weeks lmao. School is kicking my ass but it’s protecting me 

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If you guys haven’t watched the Google Year in Review yet, you need to.

It’s a sobering reminder of everything that’s happened this year, from the good to the bad to the terrible and heartbreaking. 

If you want to watch it you can find it here. 

Appreciate all the things that have happened this year, whether they left a positive or negative influence on us. Once tempered in fire, we all become stronger. 

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I successfully coded a search bar into my theme

You have no idea how proud I am of myself